The Perfect Murder

[The Boofon]

Who said it was a fun thread?:confused:

 

You don't enjoy murdering people?

 

What's the point in doing it if not for fun? :ninja:

[Sonoftherock]

I suggest you have a look at some of these videos before waffling in future and ask me how big my balloons are before jumping in feet first.

 

One breath of pure Nitrogen at atmospheric pressure is enough to kill you if it's a big breath and a big balloon.

 

Nitrogen doesn't need to be pressurised to be toxic. You fill a room with Nitrogen and walk into it and you're a goner.

 

Anyway no doubt you'll come back and argue the toss but I'm nae getting involved. It's supposed to be a fun thread FFS so wind yer neck in. :blahblah1:

 

Don't think anyone would dispute walking into an anoxic environment would kill you within seconds. However, you wouldn't die from being poisoned by Nitrogen, you'd die from a lack of oxygen in your blood stream, which was purged by nitrogen. Nitrogen is not toxic in it's natural form (diatomic N2), essentially it behaves likes helium, which is also inert, but monoatomic. I'm sure all of us have breathed in pure helium from a balloon - you suffer little ill effect other than a squeeky voice! However, if you walked into a room of pure helium, similiar to Nitrogen, you'd pass out within a few seconds - the problem with Nitrogen/Helium asphyxiation is when people get trapped. A few seconds breathing in such an environment would cause you to pass out and eventually die.

 

If you take a big breath of any inert, harmless gas, just make sure you next breath is air! I'm not sure regarding the exact complexities, however, I'm sure it would be night on impossible to purge your entire blood stream of oxygen with one massive breathe of an inert gas. Even if it was, as long as you didn't continue to remain in an anoxic environment, i'm certain you could be revived... just by breathing air.

[barassie_afc]

Easy , not a short death, but a season ticket to Pittodrie, a slow death via mental illness and depression

[The Boofon]

Don't think anyone would dispute walking into an anoxic environment would kill you within seconds. However, you wouldn't die from being poisoned by Nitrogen, you'd die from a lack of oxygen in your blood stream, which was purged by nitrogen. Nitrogen is not toxic in it's natural form (diatomic N2), essentially it behaves likes helium, which is also inert, but monoatomic. I'm sure all of us have breathed in pure helium from a balloon - you suffer little ill effect other than a squeeky voice! However, if you walked into a room of pure helium, similiar to Nitrogen, you'd pass out within a few seconds - the problem with Nitrogen/Helium asphyxiation is when people get trapped. A few seconds breathing in such an environment would cause you to pass out and eventually die.

 

If you take a big breath of any inert, harmless gas, just make sure you next breath is air! I'm not sure regarding the exact complexities, however, I'm sure it would be night on impossible to purge your entire blood stream of oxygen with one massive breathe of an inert gas. Even if it was, as long as you didn't continue to remain in an anoxic environment, i'm certain you could be revived... just by breathing air.

 

 

Yadda yadda yadda. I'll stick to the combine harvester plan then. Is that fool proof?

[amancalledbuck]

Sick f**ks.

[Monkey]

Easy , not a short death, but a season ticket to Pittodrie, a slow death via mental illness and depression

 

Whilst the methodology suggested by barassie leaves something to be desired the logic behind it is perfect. All of the above suggestions require a physical action by the murderer to the victim to either cause the death or dispose of the body....

 

Now spend a prolonged period of time destabilising the mental state of your victim through mental abuse and gas lighting and it will only be a matter of time before they take their own life.

 

No chance of any physical evidence connecting you to the death and no need to dispose of the body.

[daytripping]

I'm Nitrogen testing right now and i'm still alive.

 

We have little alarms we have to wear when Nitrogen testing, only time i've heard one go off is when i blow into it.

[daytripping]

I'm thinking the best way to do it would be to make it look like a accidental suicide, trick your way into their house then casually strangle them.

 

Strip them and dress them in a gimp mask with snooker ball choke then put a belt round their neck and hang them from a wardrobe rail (Micheal Hutchison style).

 

Quick dust down of fingerprints then slip out under the cover of darkness.

[BrianFaePerth]

Strip them and dress them in a gimp mask with snooker ball choke then put a belt round their neck and hang them from a wardrobe rail (Micheal Hutchison style).

 

Ye implying Kylie has something tae hide?

[The Boofon]

I'm Nitrogen testing right now and i'm still alive.

 

Because you have been made aware of the dangers. If I hadn't mentioned my plan you'd probably be dead.

 

Of course Son of the Rock will argue that you wouldn't be dead just to get the last word in.

 

 

[BrianFaePerth]

Because you have been made aware of the dangers. If I hadn't mentioned my plan you'd probably be dead.

 

You and yer big mouth Boof

[Big Man]

I'm thinking the best way to do it would be to make it look like a accidental suicide, trick your way into their house then casually strangle them.

 

Strip them and dress them in a gimp mask with snooker ball choke then put a belt round their neck and hang them from a wardrobe rail (Micheal Hutchison style).

 

Quick dust down of fingerprints then slip out under the cover of darkness.

 

The problem with this approach is that the security services have milked it dry. Remember him:

 

 

It might draw suspicion. I'd go for a malcom webster type accident instead:

 

[diamondsr4ever]

Was thinking about doing a similar thread last week, strange that, anyways, below is what I'd do.

 

To start with, I'd shave all my body hair off and buy a wetsuit, this leaving very little dna at the scene, I would use ice to stab the person, smash out their teeth, throw them in the sea and then burn the body, mode of transport would have to be a milk float, easy to get a hold of and return or burn again leaving very little DNA.

 

 

do you mean dunk them in the sea, or try and burn them twice while already at the bottom of the sea? or is this , i would throw their teeth in the sea?

 

on this evidence your nae up for it

[Ke1t]

Beat the victim to death with a piece of lead pipe, screaming "DIE, f**kER!" with each blow, and do it in a crowded area in broad daylight, making sure that there are plenty witnesses.

 

...then just get a good lawyer.

 

Job done.

[minijc]

do you mean dunk them in the sea, or try and burn them twice while already at the bottom of the sea? or is this , i would throw their teeth in the sea?

 

on this evidence your nae up for it

You'd be funnier if you didn't copy other peoples post, now GTF, moron.

[daytripping]

minijc,

 

Who is that dancing bird in your avatar?

 

I could write on a postage stamp what I wouldn't do to that.

[minijc]

minijc,

 

Who is that dancing bird in your avatar?

 

I could write on a postage stamp what I wouldn't do to that.

Nae idea, but I can assure you she isn't in my little black book.

[BrianFaePerth]

Have a glorious career as an NFL player, do away wi yer wife and then get the feds tae chase ye slowly round LA.

 

Lawyer up and dinna forget about the gloves.

[360]

My target would be this annoying prick.

 

[diamondsr4ever]

You'd be funnier if you didn't copy other peoples post, now GTF, moron.

 

[Crossbow]

Whilst the methodology suggested by barassie leaves something to be desired the logic behind it is perfect. All of the above suggestions require a physical action by the murderer to the victim to either cause the death or dispose of the body....

 

Now spend a prolonged period of time destabilising the mental state of your victim through mental abuse and gas lighting and it will only be a matter of time before they take their own life.

 

No chance of any physical evidence connecting you to the death and no need to dispose of the body.

 

Okay then - the next question is who is Stewart Milne trying to kill?

[tightbreeks]

Duncan Bannatyne would be rubbish at this.

[Monkey]

Okay then - the next question is who is Stewart Milne trying to kill?

Worryingly, when he arrived in 1998 he was targeting around 12,500 people, by last season he was down to just over 9000.

 

The police have to look into this closer, what has happened to the missing 3500?

[Bluto10]

cold case files is an ace program.

 

you can learn a lot from it.

[muttondressedaslamb]

Make sure he's a black man from Texas, you have a good lawyer and an all white jury.

 

Job done.