Gimme Back My Dinosaurs, Fucker!

[Ke1t]

So like most male kids I used to fucking love dinosaurs. Anything with a dinosaur on it, in it or associated with it got bought and thrown in young master Kelt's toy box, model dinosaurs in particular, to be hauled out and set to work any time my Batman action figure needed sorting out... nothing better than to watch Triceratops spear Bruce Wayne on its trio of Horns of Doom, which sounds like a gay porno movie, but isn't.

 

But eventually we put away childish things, and our Batman action figures and classic Triceratops vs T-Rex models are consigned to a box in the attic... but dinosaurs for some reason retain a prominent position in the minds of most lads, I think.

 

which is why when I heard that last year a so-called paleontologist with little more to his credit than "170 professional papers, 9 popular books, and more than 100 popular articles" and "His book Digging Dinosaurs was described by New Scientist Magazine as one of the 250 most important science books of the 20th Century", then you can imagine how pissed I was at this charlatan's latest comments. This fuckwit has basically killed off a whole bunch of loveable dinosaurs by clumping entire genera together, simply by proving that what we previously thought to be different species are actually all the same species at different stages of maturity.

 

"Fuck your childhood", Jack Horner says, laughing like a cunt, "Fuck your childhood right up your fucking arse, Kelt. All those wicked awesome dinosaurs... didn't exist. Stop crying you little fucker."

 

I've little doubt Jack Horner would probably rape me given the chance, such an evil cock is this man. He'd maybe stick in his thumb, given half a chance.

 

Anyway, here's footage of this guy killing all young Master Kelt's dinosaur-related dreams.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYbMXzBwpIo

 

So I was busily scratching his name on my list of people I'm going to get, when this other video came along. Same guy, but this time he's offering hope to the memory of a heartbroken young master Kelt, sitting next to the scale model of his now meaningless Triceratops.

 

"How would you like a dinosaur, Kelt?" he says.

 

"For reals, mister?" I say, wiping the snotter and tears from my face.

 

"Kinda!" says my tormentor.

 

"Aw, gee, mister. You foolin'?"

 

"Naw," say Jackie Boy.... "I'm going to take a chicken..."

 

"A chicken?" I ask

 

"A chicken...." he says kindly. "And I'm going to give it teeth, and razor sharp claws, and a tail for balance so it can run little kids down and eat their fucking faces off! MWahahahahahahaha!"

 

"Aw, you're foolin', mister." Says young master kelt, dejectedly.

 

"Am I?" Screams Jack. "AM I? Well what do you think of THIS, you little bastard?"

 

And sure enough, he's going to turn chickens into velociraptors.

 

Guy's mental... but good mental.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QVXdEOiCw8

[looksgoodinred]

Not that my opinion should count for much (you don't know me) but you are a very entertaining poster :-) jus' saying...

[Nelly]

 

So I was busily scratching his name on my list of people I'm going to get, when this other video came along. Same guy, but this time he's offering hope to the memory of a heartbroken young master Kelt, sitting next to the scale model of his now meaningless Triceratops.

 

 

 

Watch it again, its the Torosaurus that's gone, Triceratops lives on! Only it looks a little different once it reaches adulthood.

 

Good videos.

[Ke1t]

Not that my opinion should count for much (you don't know me) but you are a very entertaining poster :-) jus' saying...

 

Wait till I get my puppets... sky's the limit.

 

Watch it again, its the Torosaurus that's gone, Triceratops lives on! Only it looks a little different once it reaches adulthood.

 

Good videos.

 

Yeah, I know... I had to say Triceratops because no-one knows wtf a Torosaurus is. And now we're going to be getting Triceratops' with holes in their collars. That's not the Triceratops I grew up with... it's going to be all wrong.

[Dandyesque]

Wait till I get my puppets... sky's the limit.

 

 

 

Yeah, I know... I had to say Triceratops because no-one knows wtf a Torosaurus is. And now we're going to be getting Triceratops' with holes in their collars. That's not the Triceratops I grew up with... it's going to be all wrong.

 

 

What about the poor Victorians?

 

They had all these great ideas about what dinosaurs looked like - all of which turned out to be completely wrong with thumbs on noses, for example (Iguanadon)

[looksgoodinred]

What about the poor Victorians?

 

They had all these great ideas about what dinosaurs looked like - all of which turned out to be completely wrong with thumbs on noses, for example (Iguanadon)

 

now that would be handy :thumbs:

[Bobby Connor]

Here ya go Kelt. Old school fight between proper dinosaurs.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYHuJayozus

 

Actually, fuck that. I mind going to see Jurassic park at the pictures and wishing I was 9 and not 19. Still loved it, but 9 year old BC would have been in heaven.

[The Oxford Don]

I will definitely be getting a veloci-chicken. :thumbs: