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Tulisa From X Factor Sex Tape


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I didn't think it was her, evidently I was wrong.

 

However, I will be right again at some point in my life. She, however, will always remain a talentless, skanky scumbag.

 

Her ghetto crews version of "Teardrop" was an embarrassment, and she needs to shut the fuck up.

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I found this out today at work, whilst doing a presentation. I had linked the presentation to an online newspaper article from the Daily Mail (serves me right I suppose), clicked on it and on the right hand side here was a small headline saying that it was her.

My audience noticed right away and someone shouted so it was her after all...

:poster_oops:

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Most of the sex tapes I've seen have been pretty weak..

 

Paris Hilton.. lots of nob-gobbling. Minor celeb who's known as a skank, so where's the attraction? Meh.

 

Chyna... a clit like a cock and shoulders like a grizzly bear. Jesus save me, but I can still see it when I close my eyes at night :(

 

Tonya Harding.. ugly little Troll-thing. Some humping seen from a poorly positioned angle. Not good.

 

Kim Kardashian... pretty much just her face wedged against the camera while a black dude fucks her arse. No penetration seen, just lots of pouty-lip-faces for the camera. More fucking annoying than anything else. Fuck that chick.

 

Pam Anderson... While I admit to having fapped to Pam's fake chebs more times than I've taken the loon to the zoo, just seeing her chowing down onTommy Lee's ridiculous schlong kills the whole thing for me. I want to see her twat ripped open all romantical, like, but instead it's a fucking sausage fest of more interest to the ladies and the gentleman's pants bandits than a hetero who's looking to spray love cream all over the screen.

 

I think Celebrity Sex Tapes are nothing more than publicity stunts, with less penetration than you would see in a regular episode of Dad's Army or Are You Being Served.

 

My ideal Celebrity Sex Tape would be Lorraine Kelly and Carol Vorderman going at each other's twats like starving Africans in a toffee factory... then my man, Ron 'The Hedgehog' Jeremy comes out dressed like, fuck, I don't know, a plumber or a postie or something.. he say's something like they'd say in a PROPER porno, like, "Hello, ladies.. I've got a package for you/come to clear your pipes (which is ironic, because he'll actually be blocking their pipes.. with his cock)... then, to the sound of trumpets and a faulty Hammond Organ, he gets his famous schlong out and proceeds to whap the fucking bejesus out of their fannys and that.

 

And it would be filmed fucking properly... none of this poorly angled, middle-distance, badly lit shite that is typical of the celebrity sex tape... just Kelly and Vorderman being brutally defiled by a four hundred pound porn star... and maybe a goat or a big dog or something, just to add a bit of the unusual to the proceedings.

 

Anyway.. who's Tulisa?

 

 

Kelt, you are a buffoon min!! :laughing:

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do the contents of Mini's sock have to be ingested in one go? or are breaks allowed to recuperate (aka vomit or drink something else)?

 

 

I believe Mini has to give it one final shoogle minutes before the ingestion, as Ollie may struggle with it if it's completely crusty & starched solid.

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He could snap it into fingers like a Kit-Kat if it was left in the sun to dry, maybe he should be allowed a drop of butter on it, or Philadelphia.

 

Man versus Sock, we could get Ant and Dec to cover it from the sidelines, as ollie gags away but ploughs on like a soldier.

 

This could be the season curtain raiser, just before young Cammy is handed his debut by Craig Brown who admits off the record he'd been planning on a debut six months ago until ollie made minijc an offer of a lifetime.

 

The club could then donate a brand new pair of socks to minijc for a massive publicity coup.

 

I canna wait.

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