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Choose The Old Firm


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Choose offending civilised cities across Europe.

 

Choose to pass off Nazi salutes in Haifa as innocent old Red Hands of Ulster, silly Jews, looking to be offended, how dare they.

 

Choose to bottle the Villareal team bus, for nothing.

 

Choose to wreck Manchester, because a telly packed in.

 

Choose complete minkers bottling each other amidst the mayhem.

 

Choose one of the above, resplendent in brogues and Adidas trackie bottoms, feigning sympathy for a fellow hun who'd been hit by a car (well in) and was lying comatose on the highway, to cup his comrade's bloodied head in his hands whilst simultaneously nicking his fags from his pocket with the spare hand.

 

Choose to blame English thugs infiltrating the support for the chaos.

 

Choose to ignore the fact that every individual brought to court for the mayhem came from within a 30 mile radius of Glasgow.

 

Choose utter ignorance.

 

Choose being fat, skinheaded, but shit scared of Alsatians.

 

Choose legions of disabled supporters who claim that Aberdeen fans wrecked their lives.

 

Choose these same individuals leaping from the wheelchair like Lazarus once they are in the safety of their local 'social' away from the prying eyes of the 'broo'.

 

Choose to utterly patronise every cunt who ever crosses your path.

 

Choose to take illegal fag breaks, then choose to take credit for random events as a means of avoiding the sack, choose to give it the big 'I am' on Sky about how you watched a hapless terrorist run around in circles ablaze as his car failed to even break the double glazing on the terminal.

 

Choose to direct Cowdenbeath, manage Forfar, otherwise known as covering your arse in the voting stakes.

 

Choose vociferous bigotry in the face of a financial crisis.

 

Choose selling bigoted tat to raise money for your reprehensible club.

 

Choose to play musical chairs between Govan and Mount Florida to cement your powerbase.

 

Choose to only promote amiable referees via your Mount Florida subsidiary.

 

Choose to rewrite the rules whenever you get in bother from perpetually breaking them.

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Choose smashing up cities and being Scotland's shame

 

Choose having fans with the lowest life expectancy in the UK

 

Choose going on a march and not knowing why you are marching

 

Choose saying you're a protestant or catholic and never going to church

 

Choose being a fat cunt and living on a diet of pies

 

Choose being a thin cunt and living on a diet of heroin

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Choose to be the world's leading retailer of XXL replica shirts.

 

Choose chip pans in pokey arsed kitchens, choose to fall asleep with lit fags in your hand, choose eating 14 red pudding suppers a week, choose utter reliance on state provision medication, if not choose to buy it 'aff' your equally feckless pals, choose to drink a 'boatle e buckie' before smashing the end of a wall and ramming it in the nearest person's face.

 

Choose a reputation based on utter cowardice regards your tendency to produce a knife over the slightest dispute.

 

Choose grassing in anyone who annoys you.

 

Choose a massive scar on your face which you did yourself but lie through your teeth about to fellow morons.

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