Pure Deid Mental

[Ke1t]

This guy though? Nah.

 

Welsh Royal Marine sniper Matt Hughes was participating in the 2003 invasion of Iraq, looking for a perfect occasion to shoot some dudes from really far away. He found it in two Iraqi troops who were holding up the offensive. Hughes was ordered to take them out. And not out to dinner, unless they both ordered a lead steak. A tiny one, shaped like a bullet.

 

The problem was that the wind was blowing tremendously. See, this is something that doesn't come up in the movies -- when you're trying to shoot from far away with any kind of wind, you have almost no goddamned idea where the bullet will end up. Sniping isn't just holding the cross hairs steady on the tiny soldier in the scope; it's trying to predict gusts of wind that could push the bullet into some innocent tree trunk 50 feet away. And yes, that's how much of a difference wind can make. You can not only miss the guy, but miss the whole house he's standing in.

 

Oh, and as if his fate were being written by the vengeful spirit of a vaudeville comedian, Hughes discovered that his targets were a little over a half mile away, which, powerful wind notwithstanding, was beyond the range of the rifle he was using. To make matters worse (and yes, there apparently was still room for them to get worse), the enemy soldier he was targeting was covered in a fortified position, with only a small portion of his head and torso exposed. Hughes would have only one chance, because if he took a shot and missed, the Iraqi would simply duck completely behind cover and never come back up. It'd be like if Luke Skywalker had been commanded to park his X-Wing at the beginning of the trench, and to lean out of the cockpit with a grenade wedged in his ass and try to power-shit it into the Death Star's exhaust port.

 

 

Cackling in the face of insurmountable odds, Hughes did his best to judge, based on the haze from the heat, how to aim the rifle to hit his target. His judgment led him to aim the shot 56 feet to the left and 38 feet high, which is another way of saying "Hughes pointed his gun in a totally unrelated goddamn direction."

 

Either way, Hughes presumably prayed to the sniper gods and let off his first and only possible shot, not even remotely pointed toward his target, and watched as the arc of the bullet formed the shape of a giant banana and struck the enemy soldier directly in the chest. Needless to say, the Iraqi was killed, though we're fairly certain his last words were the equivalent of "Oh, no fucking way." Xavier Jackson, James Benoist

[granite sheep]

You got that fae Cracked.com, superb website, always good for a laugh. You read any of Seanbaby's stuff? His comic strips are funny as fuck, especially the Dick Whisky ones. Back on topic, off the top o ma heid, there's supposed to be this Canadian sniper that holds the record for longest shot, he had to waste a Taliban heid bummer fae a couple o miles awa. Turns out that even high velocity .50 cal sniper bullets drop as they fly through the air, so he fired at a point of the sky about 100 feet vertically above the target. If you're wondering what a .50 Cal bullet'll do to a man, it'll blow big meaty chunks off him, pretty much instant death, so just hitting this Taliban would be curtains for him. Sniper was rewarded wi a spectacular headshot, for a bullet to travel 2 or so miles, falling a hundred feet all the time, and take a boy's heid off, well that's like getting a hole in one, and winning the euromillions at the same time.

[dervish]

You got that fae Cracked.com, superb website, always good for a laugh. You read any of Seanbaby's stuff? His comic strips are funny as fuck, especially the Dick Whisky ones. Back on topic, off the top o ma heid, there's supposed to be this Canadian sniper that holds the record for longest shot, he had to waste a Taliban heid bummer fae a couple o miles awa. Turns out that even high velocity .50 cal sniper bullets drop as they fly through the air, so he fired at a point of the sky about 100 feet vertically above the target. If you're wondering what a .50 Cal bullet'll do to a man, it'll blow big meaty chunks off him, pretty much instant death, so just hitting this Taliban would be curtains for him. Sniper was rewarded wi a spectacular headshot, for a bullet to travel 2 or so miles, falling a hundred feet all the time, and take a boy's heid off, well that's like getting a hole in one, and winning the euromillions at the same time.

 

British Sniper is top just now actually. Still amazing stuff though.

[granite sheep]

Yeah, just checked that out on the Wikipedia just now, boy name of Craig Harrison, serves in the Household Cavalry, made not one, but two consecutive kills fae roughly 1.5 miles away. One guy fae that far awa is mental enough. To get a second, with THE VERY NEXT BULLET.........holy fuck.

[muttondressedaslamb]

Absolutely amazing stuff. It's as of they just aim anywhere and hope for the best.

I got top marks at shooting at Lochter once, wonder if I could make it as a sniper.