All Fucked Up And Paranoid

[Ke1t]

My diet lately has largely consisted of Whisky, energy drinks, coffee, liquor and, maybe once a day, some oatmeal.

 

Today I was out in the 80F heat (whatever that is in C) cutting the grass and I took a bit of a turn and sort of fell over.

 

Currently shaking like fuck, feeling kinda paranoid and nervous.

 

Not sure if it's just a reaction to the heat, a culmination of a diet of energy drinks and booze, or maybe a combination of both.

 

I think I'm done cutting grass today, though. Fuck all that.

[Stoney]

Same happened to my old man weird as fuck

[The Boofon]

My diet lately has largely consisted of Whisky, energy drinks, coffee, liquor and, maybe once a day, some oatmeal.

 

Today I was out in the 80F heat (whatever that is in C) cutting the grass and I took a bit of a turn and sort of fell over.

 

Currently shaking like fuck, feeling kinda paranoid and nervous.

 

Not sure if it's just a reaction to the heat, a culmination of a diet of energy drinks and booze, or maybe a combination of both.

 

I think I'm done cutting grass today, though. Fuck all that.

 

 

Never had you down as a poof Kelt.

 

Dizzy spells are for women and joyboys.

[chief_wiggum]

My diet lately has largely consisted of Whisky, energy drinks, coffee, liquor and, maybe once a day, some oatmeal.

 

Today I was out in the 80F heat (whatever that is in C) cutting the grass and I took a bit of a turn and sort of fell over.

 

Currently shaking like fuck, feeling kinda paranoid and nervous.

 

Not sure if it's just a reaction to the heat, a culmination of a diet of energy drinks and booze, or maybe a combination of both.

 

I think I'm done cutting grass today, though. Fuck all that.

 

Think you just had "a spasmo" that means your a spesh! Prob just heat exhaustion http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Heat-exhaustion-and-heatstroke/Pages/Introduction.aspx

[centraldon]

Could have sworn this was going to be a Huns based thread...

[muttondressedaslamb]

Sounds like dehydration and heat exhaustion.

 

I suggest a cup of man the fuck up juice.

[looksgoodinred]

Sounds like dehydration and heat exhaustion.

 

I suggest a cup of man the fuck up juice.

 

AKA water, not energy drinks

Have some yoghurt or something, and go lay down out of the heat and sun. Ye daft goat. I'm sure your wife has plenty of things to do today without dragging your sorry arse into the house once you've passed out on the front lawn.

[Ke1t]

Fuck all you queerbaits... You can only WISH you had Kelt's fortitude!

 

One thing I have a hard time with is heat, though... that's my weakness. Like Superman's Kryptonite, hot, humid weather does me in. Viking stock doesn't like heat. Give me sub-zero temperatures and I'll cut the shit out of that fucking grass in my short-shorts and wife-beater. You can count on that, faghats.

 

I'm fine now like... and thanks for all your fucking concern, shitsticks... so I'm off to clean oot the garage.

 

 

[looksgoodinred]

Are you somewhat mentally deficient? Go lie down ffs! Or are you hoping your wife will see what you're up to and tie you up?

[Ke1t]

AKA water, not energy drinks

Have some yoghurt or something, and go lay down out of the heat and sun. Ye daft goat. I'm sure your wife has plenty of things to do today without dragging your sorry arse into the house once you've passed out on the front lawn.

 

Well at least one of you came close to almost kinda being very slightly sympathetic. Cheers LGIR... I'll remember your half-hearted attempt at feigning concern when the time comes to unleash hell on all these other bastards.

 

:thumbs:

[looksgoodinred]

Well at least one of you came close to almost kinda being very slightly sympathetic. Cheers LGIR... I'll remember your half-hearted attempt at feigning concern when the time comes to unleash hell on all these other bastards.

 

:thumbs:

 

I'm honoured. However even dogs have the sense to lie still on cool tiled floors on days like today. Do the mom in me a favour, and go rest. With a jug of water!I'm sure your garage won't get any dirtier if you're not in it mucking about anyway.

[Dandyesque]

Kelt = Chris Burke

[looksgoodinred]

Feeling any better yet Kelt?

[Ke1t]

Feeling any better yet Kelt?

 

Feeling fantastic... it's amazing what a couple of Red Bulls and a tumbler of Jack and Coke will do for you.

 

I'm going to eat tonight though... ordered steak and ribs. Might be a bit more healthy than my usual oatmeal and booze diet. And I've got the AC cranked to *Frosty*, so starting to cool down.

 

As for Chris Burke.... I fucking HATE baseball. That'll be the Down Syndrome making me like that, though.

 

Anyway, time for tonight's movie with dinner... Think I'll pick something with Tits n' 'Splosions.

 

Swordfish sounds like a good shout.

[Dom Sullivan]

Feeling fantastic... it's amazing what a couple of Red Bulls and a tumbler of Jack and Coke will do for you.

 

I'm going to eat tonight though... ordered steak and ribs. Might be a bit more healthy than my usual oatmeal and booze diet. And I've got the AC cranked to *Frosty*, so starting to cool down.

 

As for Chris Burke.... I fucking HATE baseball. That'll be the Down Syndrome making me like that, though.

 

Anyway, time for tonight's movie with dinner... Think I'll pick something with Tits n' 'Splosions.

 

Swordfish sounds like a good shout.

Red bull and Jack & Coke - that the man the fuck up juice referred to by MDAL?

 

Feeling better after your turn?

[Jones]

Sounds like a panic/anxiety attack to me. Definitely should be eating something.

[tup]

I suggest you get a grip.

[BrianFaePerth]

Ye've spent far too long in the US and A Kelt.

 

Yer yank citizenship has turned ye feel.

[phoenix]

My diet lately has largely consisted of Whisky, energy drinks, coffee, liquor and, maybe once a day, some oatmeal.

 

Today I was out in the 80F heat (whatever that is in C) cutting the grass and I took a bit of a turn and sort of fell over.

 

Currently shaking like fuck, feeling kinda paranoid and nervous.

 

Not sure if it's just a reaction to the heat, a culmination of a diet of energy drinks and booze, or maybe a combination of both.

 

I think I'm done cutting grass today, though. Fuck all that.

 

 

 

I guess the paranoia kicks in because of the state of vulnerability , we are SUPPOSED to feel paranoid in that state because in that state even someone like Alan Carr or Alan Cumming might be able tae 'tak ye oot' ! It's actually a defence mechanism.

 

Blood sugar levels.....ye're nae gettin' ony younger Kelt? Everything that happens to you happens for a reason , your body is trying to tell you something.

 

And I'm telling you Red Bull is shit !

 

 

[phoenix]

Actually , now that I've re-read this , I reckon you've gone over your caffeine tolerance limits. I've very nearly done this and felt shit , the difference is that I wisnae cuttin' the grass , that's kinda difficult to do offshore.

 

They did give us the freedom of the coffee machine however.

 

Never again !

 

 

 

 

 

[Ke1t]

Actually , now that I've re-read this , I reckon you've gone over your caffeine tolerance limits. I've very nearly done this and felt shit , the difference is that I wisnae cuttin' the grass , that's kinda difficult to do offshore.

 

They did give us the freedom of the coffee machine however.

 

Never again !

 

Phoned my doctor and asked him if he reckoned I had a brain tumor or anything... he said na, just the heat and the booze and the energy dinks. Shouldn't cut the grass in 80+ degree heat (F) with a tumbler of Jack Daniels in your hand... something about it being unsafe or somesuch shecht.

 

He said I should go for a checkup anyway, so I'm going to go ahead and not do that.

 

Fine the day like, aside from I started a diagnostic on a box at about 7am this morning and it's still sitting on my desk diagnosing when I checked it upon my return at about 11:30am.

 

Think I'll just reinstall Windows and tell them it was terminal

[Dom Sullivan]

Phoned my doctor and asked him if he reckoned I had a brain tumor or anything... he said na, just the heat and the booze and the energy dinks. Shouldn't cut the grass in 80+ degree heat (F) with a tumbler of Jack Daniels in your hand... something about it being unsafe or somesuch shecht.

 

He said I should go for a checkup anyway, so I'm going to go ahead and not do that.

 

Fine the day like, aside from I started a diagnostic on a box at about 7am this morning and it's still sitting on my desk diagnosing when I checked it upon my return at about 11:30am.

 

Think I'll just reinstall Windows and tell them it was terminal

He said I should go for a checkup anyway, so I'm going to go ahead and not do that.

 

Lol - queue MDAL and LGIR bumping their gums about being a "typical bloke" etc

[dervish]

He said I should go for a checkup anyway, so I'm going to go ahead and not do that.

 

He's obviously a gay just wants you in his office. I'll wager he was planning to lube up your ring and penetrate it under the auspices of a "prostate exam". I say prepare a bracing JD and ice as a thank you to your masculine instincts.

[tup]

I'd rather have a brain hemorrhage than go the doctor for a check-up.

[The Boofon]

I'd rather have a brain hemorrhage than go the doctor for a check-up.

 

 

Seems like you've already had one as you're using American spelling practices.

[tup]

Well I've not been to the doctor anyway.

 

Only time I'll be going is if I'm broon bread.

[The Boofon]

Well I've not been to the doctor anyway.

 

Only time I'll be going is if I'm broon bread.

 

 

Aye because that's the first place you go when you're dead.

 

Come in Tup what can I do for you today?

 

I'm dead doc, can you give me anything for it?

[tup]

Aye because that's the first place you go when you're dead.

 

Come in Tup what can I do for you today?

 

I'm dead doc, can you give me anything for it?

 

There you have it.

 

I won't be going to the doctor even if I'm dead!

 

Magic.

 

I won't ever be going to the doctor then.