Sexual Fantasies

[Ke1t]

The wife's a little reticent to do the whole Dress-Up thing, since I bought her this (admittedly) fucked up bondage thing from Noir Leather a few years back. Lots of buckles and studs and shit, pretty standard, but the thing that pissed her off was the dog collar thing that came with it. She reckoned it was disrespectful to try to put a lead on her and have her bark excitedly.

 

Lately I've been into the whole 'Victorian Whore' thing, but she point blank refuses to dress up like a 19th Century Flibberty Gibbet and stand outside the house on foggy nights, the repressed bitch.

 

I have managed to get her to say things like "'Ere. Sack yer cock, Guvna?" in a mock-cockney accent... so if I close my eyes I can imagine she's a filthy, dirty Whitechapel strumpet performing on me for a couple of shillings, and when she's done... hacking her to death in a Ripperesque frenzy of Bible-thumping regret. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO, HARLOT!"

 

...anyway...

 

Anyone else get their lady/gentleman friend to play the whole role-playing thing?

[Big Man]

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[The Boofon]

You're maybe needing to get away from the foggy night thing as it limits opportunities.

 

Try a different type of weather and you might have more success.

 

You'd be well pissed off if she was bang up for it but it was breezy outside and a bit on the parky side.

[Big Man]

Never really been into the whole role-play thing.

 

More of a sex outdoors type of cunt...

 

Sex in the mud is a particular perversion of mine.

 

[Redstar]

Better not to get the Missus to act like a whore...Good God Chief ...best to order up a whore if you're wanting to never have to talk about whatever sordidness you get up to...do that sort of shit with the wife and you'll be having it cast up at you every time an argument hits a 7

[looksgoodinred]

Better not to get the Missus to act like a whore...Good God Chief ...best to order up a whore if you're wanting to never have to talk about whatever sordidness you get up to...do that sort of shit with the wife and you'll be having it cast up at you every time an argument hits a 7

 

i was told a "good woman" was a lady in the parlour, a chef in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom. and now you're saying that ain't so?

 

but back on topic. role-playing wouldn't really float my boat, but i'd give it a stab if my significant other wanted to. where's the harm in trying.

[ebbe]

tried like fuck to get my girlfriend to have a naked wrestling match with her mate, didn't work though. feckin prudes.

[Sheep#1]

Anyone see that shit on 4 last night about guys with a fetish for fat birds? That was some weird shit, they get off on watching them stuff their fat faces and then sit on them till they can hardly breathe.

[muttondressedaslamb]

Haha I was going to post about that. Got a text from my sister, 'put on Channel 4 now' and watched about 5 mins of it before I had to turn it off. A fat bird sitting on blokes then they had her son on talking about his lefe with her Fucked up to the extreme

[dervish]

i was told a "good woman" was a lady in the parlour, a chef in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom. and now you're saying that ain't so?

 

but back on topic. role-playing wouldn't really float my boat, but i'd give it a stab if my significant other wanted to. where's the harm in trying.

 

That code for strap-on?

[Sheep#1]

Haha I was going to post about that. Got a text from my sister, 'put on Channel 4 now' and watched about 5 mins of it before I had to turn it off. A fat bird sitting on blokes then they had her son on talking about his lefe with her Fucked up to the extreme

 

Yeah that was weird as fuck, her son there as her 'carer' and watching her indulge these perverts fantasies. Only in America eh!

[Coopy100]

What category does your bird fit into? Classy or neddy?

[forbesz1903]

I'm with millertime on the milf front, added bonus if they fall into cougar category.

[The Boofon]

Anyone see that shit on 4 last night about guys with a fetish for fat birds? That was some weird shit, they get off on watching them stuff their fat faces and then sit on them till they can hardly breathe.

 

 

Haha I was going to post about that. Got a text from my sister, 'put on Channel 4 now' and watched about 5 mins of it before I had to turn it off. A fat bird sitting on blokes then they had her son on talking about his lefe with her Fucked up to the extreme

 

The bird with the tattoos who went over to the USA from the UK was surprisingly hot as fuck though.

 

She was a fair size but by christ she looked horny as hell.

 

 

I'm with the cougar and MILF brigade as well. :thumbs:

[minijc]

I'm with millertime on the milf front, added bonus if they fall into cougar category.

Indeed, down with this aswell, still get a lot of credit off my mates for pulling a 45 year old a couple of month back, "We can't go back to mine, I have daughters older than you" kinda ruined any chance of a ride after that.

[BrianFaePerth]

Anyone see that shit on 4 last night about guys with a fetish for fat birds? That was some weird shit, they get off on watching them stuff their fat faces and then sit on them till they can hardly breathe.

 

Was one of the guys a relatively new poster on this board?

[The Boofon]

Indeed, down with this aswell, still get a lot of credit off my mates for pulling a 45 year old a couple of month back, "We can't go back to mine, I have daughters older than you" kinda ruined any chance of a ride after that.

 

 

 

Aye that's probably what ruined it.

 

Still on 1 then Mini?

 

 

This is the fatty I was on about earlier. I cannot explain why but I'd smash that until the cows came home.

 

 

[BrianFaePerth]

This is the fatty I was on about earlier. I cannot explain why but I'd smash that until the cows came home.

 

 

 

Fuckin hell, you've been surrounded by camels far too long Boof

[The Boofon]

Fuckin hell, you've been surrounded by camels far too long Boof

 

 

Perhaps.

 

I watched the programme and she just had something about her.

 

It's one of those weird things that cannot be explained.

 

I'm very aroused by the whole tattoo and burlesque look going on so maybe that's it.

 

In fact safe to say being molested for a week by a troop of burlesque dancers covered in tattoos would probably top my list for this thread.

 

The bird that was on Britain's got talent was also well worth a dunt.

 

[Dynamo]

theres something incredibly empowering about pulling a thicko

 

looking down and seeing this undeniably pretty, but equally undeniable thicko trying her level best to "give you the bj of ur life"

 

the kind that WANTS you to cum on her face, if only so that she has some kind of feeling of properly pleasing you...letting you have your way

 

Haha, classic.

[The Boofon]

theres something incredibly empowering about pulling a thicko

 

looking down and seeing this undeniably large chinned , but equally undeniable thicko trying his level best to "give you the chin ride of ur life"

 

the kind that WANTS you to chin ride you all night all night, if only so that he has some kind of feeling of properly pleasing you...letting you have your way

 

Pretty much what a bird who has pulled Millertime would be saying. :thumbs:

[BrianFaePerth]

Enough love there for both of us I reckon Boof. I'll take the chutney if you don't mind.

 

Careful Boof, eh doubt Mr Pipes wid be happy wi just satisfying thon fat mess

[The Boofon]

She was fucking ace. Nae a great photo of her. I would fuck her fat pussy all night long. Would be wet as fuck. Messy sweat/love juice combo.

Enough love there for both of us I reckon Boof. I'll take the chutney if you don't mind.

 

No problem with that at all. Just make sure you don't slip out of the fart tunnel and come down a level.

 

I reckon her fud would be some sport as well. The belly being the equivalent of a 3rd set of flaps. 3 for the price of 2.

 

She was alarmingly gorgeous and as you say the picture there doesn't do her any favours.

[The Boofon]

I canna promise there winna be a little meatball newton's cradle going on but a small bit of man on man would be a small price to pay for an evening of whale whopping.

 

As long as no one on here finds out or gets wind of the plan we're fine.

 

Ahoy me hearty.

[CrazyBullSheep]

I canna promise there winna be a little meatball newton's cradle going on but a small bit of man on man would be a small price to pay for an evening of whale whopping.

 

Jesus Christ !!

 

[The Boofon]

Jesus Christ !!

 

 

As long as he's shaved his balls there should be no issues.

 

I'd hate to have to get rescued by firemen being stuck under a 21 stone lardo with Pipes and my balls connected like velcro.

 

Unless the firemen were firewomen. That would be tickety boo.

[BrianFaePerth]

Unless the firemen were firewomen. That would be tickety boo.

 

 

Trannies? This is getting fucked up

[The Boofon]

Trannies? This is getting fucked up

 

You don't think Pipes and I double teaming this big honeypot while clanging each others balls is fucked up already?

[CrazyBullSheep]

You don't think Pipes and I double teaming this big honeypot while clanging each others balls is fucked up already?

 

Nah there has to be animals, Masks, Dwarves and amputees for it to get REALLY fucked up

[hopeisimportant]

This conversation is repulsive.