Bastard Squirrels

[looksgoodinred]

Fair enough, and I didn't mean to come over all dickish.

 

If I had to guess, I'd say the black squirrel was approximately fifteen times larger than the red squirrel, although that might be a bad guess given my lack of any real attention to detail.

 

Now that I look at the picture again, though, I'd probably say they're about the same size.

 

I'm going to start filling the pool with onion powder and chives, I think.

 

i would have said you were all dick, only because you said your cock was monster-sized. but that wouldn't come out sounding the way it had been intended.

 

anyhoo.. if i were the kind of person not averse to fixing up a squirrel stew (i caught an episode of Duck Dynasty the other day. very strange people), they look plump and fit to eat. apparently squirrels snack well in your neighbourhood.

[Ke1t]

i would have said you were all dick, only because you said your cock was monster-sized. but that wouldn't come out sounding the way it had been intended.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMGu-55sKJs&feature=related

 

anyhoo.. if i were the kind of person not averse to fixing up a squirrel stew (i caught an episode of Duck Dynasty the other day. very strange people), they look plump and fit to eat. apparently squirrels snack well in your neighbourhood.

 

Pretty sure squirrels would be safer to eat than 90% of the stuff you get off the shelves at ASDA.

 

Nae MSG, Aspartame or HFCS in a squirrel... just a wee dab of rabies and mange. The cooking process will most likely deal with that... most likely.

[looksgoodinred]

well, any man that can dispatch two squirrels before breakfast... well done, Kelt! :thumbs:

[Ke1t]

Funny how Kelt is busy battering away at his keyboard. We may see a response by midnight.

 

You mean not everyone here is using Dragon: Naturally Speaking?

 

Och, you Scotchish Barbarians with your keyboards and your mud huts and your free-roaming livestock.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwdyWBTbqFc&list=LP_7cLcwlbqZM&index=1&feature=plcp

[LeDandy]

I was in the Tufty Club , he was sound as fuck , helpful to a fault , fame went to his head though and he was found floating face down in a swimming pool , cocaine found in his blood and Barrymores semen in his arse .

 

At least he wisnae killed crossin the road though , by fuck could he cross a road !

 

Peace out to any squirrels brave enough to enter Ke1t's thread here , get your mates to bide the fuck awa fae his pool tho !

[looksgoodinred]

 

http://deadsquirrel.com/news/

[looksgoodinred]

11. Flex his limbs into a "natural" tree hugging pose. Place your beer into his empty little arms. Voila.

 

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=37689

[looksgoodinred]

 

http://www.wildliferecipes.net/game_recipes/small_game_recipes/squirrel_recipes/index.asp

[looksgoodinred]

in my search of things to do with dead squirrels (yes, i'm in anti-squirrel mode -- more so than usual even), i came across this. and it was available from the BrewDog (back in 2010. did they ever make more?)

 

You'd expect a lot from a bottle of beer costing $765. What you get is 55 percent alcohol

[Bobby Connor]

You've got a wee squirrel obsession going on LGIR? Was it Kelt's massive black squirrel photo that sparked it?

[looksgoodinred]

You've got a wee squirrel obsession going on LGIR? Was it Kelt's massive black squirrel photo that sparked it?

 

i hate squirrels. i hate all members of the rodent family. being that it's summer and squirrels are now plentiful, i hate them more. i think Kelt's original thread sparked me thinking about the evil effin varmints. really i blame my current hate-on, on Kelt. :thumbs:

 

having said that, i braked quickly so as not to run over a squirrel on my way to work this morning. weak. i'm just friggin weak.

[Bobby Connor]

i hate squirrels. i hate all members of the rodent family. being that it's summer and squirrels are now plentiful, i hate them more. i think Kelt's original thread sparked me thinking about the evil effin varmints. really i blame my current hate-on, on Kelt. :thumbs:

 

having said that, i braked quickly so as not to run over a squirrel on my way to work this morning. weak. i'm just friggin weak.

 

Poor. If you hate them as much as you say you do then you should be accelerating at them. I used to keep score of the number of rabbits I could run over between Inverg and Inverness and I don't even mind them. It was just for fun.

[looksgoodinred]

Poor. If you hate them as much as you say you do then you should be accelerating at them. I used to keep score of the number of rabbits I could run over between Inverg and Inverness and I don't even mind them. It was just for fun.

 

i hit a rabbit once by accident years ago. i must have cried all the way to work.

i hate them, but i can't go gunning for them. i'm telling you.. weak.

[Bobby Connor]

i hit a rabbit once by accident years ago. i must have cried all the way to work.

i hate them, but i can't go gunning for them. i'm telling you.. weak.

 

I'd brake for a dog, but not a cat and certainly not a rabbit or squirrel. You're a lassie though so this is part of your natural behaviour. Would you brake for a hedgehog? I think I would.

[looksgoodinred]

I'd brake for a dog, but not a cat and certainly not a rabbit or squirrel. You're a lassie though so this is part of your natural behaviour. Would you brake for a hedgehog? I think I would.

 

Afraid so. And I've often braked for chipmunks (but at least they cross the road in a speedy fashion). Geese are a pain to wait for, but I do. And turtles.

 

You wouldn't brake for someone's cat?

[Bobby Connor]

Afraid so. And I've often braked for chipmunks (but at least they cross the road in a speedy fashion). Geese are a pain to wait for, but I do. And turtles.

 

You wouldn't brake for someone's cat?

 

I probably would brake for a cat. That's just me playing the wido cunt angle. Not a fan of them though. Wouldn't brake for a ginger cat. Is that socially acceptable?

[looksgoodinred]

I probably would brake for a cat. That's just me playing the wido cunt angle. Not a fan of them though. Wouldn't brake for a ginger cat. Is that socially acceptable?

 

Nothing wrong with gingers! Even ginger cats! Brake for all the animals, Bobby!

 

(My first boyfriend was a red-haired boy. Joey. )

[looksgoodinred]

but back on topic.. sort of.. do you think the BrewDog ever made/sold any more batches of that beer?

[Bobby Connor]

Nothing wrong with gingers! Even ginger cats! Brake for all the animals, Bobby!

 

(My first boyfriend was a red-haired boy. Joey. )

 

You sound like the sort of women who causes pile ups and massive delays for the rest of us when you should just be steaming through the wildlife!

[looksgoodinred]

You sound like the sort of women who causes pile ups and massive delays for the rest of us when you should just be steaming through the wildlife!

 

I'd hit something if it meant that someone's car wouldn't hit mine.

But if there's no one behind me.. I'm not holding up anyone but me.

And to date, that's how it's usually worked out.

[Ke1t]

Not much of an animal lover me, by which I mean I don't care for them rather than alluding to some ineptitude at fucking them.

 

I'm not one for animal rights either. Frankly if I can't eat it, throw rocks at it in a zoo, or use it for research then I fail to see its value.

 

Some are obviously pests, and they should be actively stamped out. Things like seagulls and rats should be hunted to extinction, and if I were in charge of everything then that would definitely be in my top ten things to do, somewhere between Eradicate All Huns and Surgically attach Adrianne Curry to my dick.

 

Pandas, they'd be gone inna. The laziest bear on the planet, can't even muster the effort to fuck other Panda Bears, hence their precipitous place in the Animal Kingdom. If they can't be bothered to reproduce then they DESERVE to go extinct, the stupid fat fucks.

 

And while I'm on the subject of endangered species, I'd personally shoot the last living member of every endangered species, just so the hippy shitbags from the WWF would stop asking me for money to save the fucking Humphead Wrasse.

 

Look it up.

 

 

EDIT: I just threw together a visual representation of this entire post. If anyone doesn't feel like reading all those words, just look at the picture and you'll know everything you need to know about this post.

 

[Bobby Connor]

Seagulls are top boys. People are just intimidated by them because they're a touch raucous. They're one of the top types of birds (behind crows who own all before them). Fancy dan 'predators' such as Eagles and Buzzards have had their day and ken fuck all about how to scrounge chips off of humans.

[LeDandy]

Not much of an animal lover me, by which I mean I don't care for them rather than alluding to some ineptitude at fucking them.

 

I'm not one for animal rights either. Frankly if I can't eat it, throw rocks at it in a zoo, or use it for research then I fail to see its value.

 

Some are obviously pests, and they should be actively stamped out. Things like seagulls and rats should be hunted to extinction, and if I were in charge of everything then that would definitely be in my top ten things to do, somewhere between Eradicate All Huns and Surgically attach Adrianne Curry to my dick.

 

Pandas, they'd be gone inna. The laziest bear on the planet, can't even muster the effort to fuck other Panda Bears, hence their precipitous place in the Animal Kingdom. If they can't be bothered to reproduce then they DESERVE to go extinct, the stupid fat fucks.

 

And while I'm on the subject of endangered species, I'd personally shoot the last living member of every endangered species, just so the hippy shitbags from the WWF would stop asking me for money to save the fucking Humphead Wrasse.

 

Look it up.

 

 

EDIT: I just threw together a visual representation of this entire post. If anyone doesn't feel like reading all those words, just look at the picture and you'll know everything you need to know about this post.

 

 

 

Finally somebody said it , exactly what i have been thinking for years but was to afraid to say . Once they are extinct we may mourn there passing as we have previously for the Dodo or the lesser known 3 heided violet horse frog . Pandas would rather sit on their fat arses than fuck ! Any species who would rather sit around being lardy than get their hole needs a right kicking , maybe Pandas need a dangerous predator to keep them on their toes , after a right good chasey with a crocodile or some cunt , with the adrenaline rush they might just feel horny , maybe , either that or funcy a chipper .

[The Boofon]

Kelt have you moved to Michigan?

 

Michigan man burns down house blow torching a squirrel

 

There's more than one way to skin a squirrel -- but a Michigan man learned that doing it with a blow torch can prove disastrous.

 

Firefighters say he was trying to singe the hair off a squirrel so he could eat it when he accidentally caught his third-floor wooden deck on fire on Wednesday.

 

The blaze quickly spread and engulfed most of his apartment building in Holland, Michigan, and left his 32 neighbors homeless.

[Dandyesque]

Kelt have you moved to Michigan?

 

Michigan man burns down house blow torching a squirrel

 

There's more than one way to skin a squirrel -- but a Michigan man learned that doing it with a blow torch can prove disastrous.

 

Firefighters say he was trying to singe the hair off a squirrel so he could eat it when he accidentally caught his third-floor wooden deck on fire on Wednesday.

 

The blaze quickly spread and engulfed most of his apartment building in Holland, Michigan, and left his 32 neighbors homeless.

 

 

 

Detroit is in Michigan

[The Boofon]

 

Detroit is in Michigan

 

 

What's your point?

 

How am I supposed to know where the fuck he lives?

[Henry]

 

Detroit is in Michigan

 

[The Boofon]

What's your point?

 

How am I supposed to know where the fuck he lives?

 

 

In fact I'm nae going to try and defend my way out of this one.

 

I fear a quick search by Harcus will find a few posts regarding Detroit, Kelt and me posting.

 

Nae my greatest day so far. FFS.

 

I blame the fucking squirrels.

[Henry]

Ask and ye shall receive.

 

Different time zones you thick cunt.

 

 

[The Boofon]

Ask and ye shall receive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had that one in mind so knew I had to own up.