Salesmen

[Ke1t]

Anyone had any experience with the high pressure sales types coming into your house to sell you their shit?

 

Recently had a lot of work done on the house, the roof, the patio, landscaping and the like... now we're looking to put in new windows in the spring. So we've had a lot of sales guys coming in and out of the house trying to sell us their shit.

 

Just had a window dude in, and I'm not sure if he was high pressure or not... I'm just really fucking confused.

 

First thing he did was tell me he wasn't here to give me a quote, but rather to sell me windows tonight. That was a bad start, because I actually asked for a quote when the guy originally came to the door. So that wasn't good.

 

Next thing he does is piss off my (Arab) wife. I don't know if you've ever seen a pissed off Arab, but for a graphic representation of what can happen when you piss off an Arab you can Google '911'. And that's not good either. No it isn't.

 

Then he grudgingly goes and gets a sample of his windows, and starts rambling about how if he were to offer free windows we'd take them, regardless of whether it was what we wanted or not. I'm not sure what his point was there, but he did manage to confuse the fuck out of me, and I'm still not sure what he was getting at. I'm not expecting free windows... I don't even care how much they are (within reason).... just give me the fucking windows I ask for and bill me. What the fuck ever, I don't know what in the fuck he was trying to say.

 

Then he explains that his company is the ONLY company that can invite me to their factory to see them made... the fuck do I want to go see windows made for? My only interest in windows is that I give him cash and he sends his Mexicans... and they will be Mexicans... around to put my fucking windows in... IN THE FUCKING SPRING.

 

He then refuses to give me a quote, because the price of windows is apparently going to skyrocket by around 6 grand in the 4 months between now and April. A tactic I'm by now familiar with with these sales types. Every one of them seems to have future knowledge of the markets supplying the materials to their industry, and by some remarkable fucking coincidence I ALWAYS ask for a quote right before there's a 50% price hike, so I had better sign their contract right now, right NOW, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

 

I politely explained there was not a chance in fucking hell I was signing anything, and if he wasn't going to give me a quote that can hold over for a few months (allowing a certain latitude for increases) then we were done.

 

He also did a lot of looking meaningfully at us while not saying anything... which is another sales tactic I'm by now familiar with. The reasoning being no-one likes an uncomfortable silence, so they're off balance and more receptive to signing contracts and the like. Unfortunately for this guy me and the wife are grand masters at the Uncomfortable Silence, we could have Uncomfortable Silenced him for days without a single word passing between us.

 

Then he left.

 

It was a combination of high pressure sales combined with, Salvador Dali-esque shovelfuls of surrealism.

 

Anyway, he's gone now and the wife took his business card and threw it in the trash with the warning, directed at me, "I don't want to see him again."

 

For some reason I'm not fully understanding, this weird guy coming to the house and pissing her off is all my fault.

 

Ah, fuck her... just don't tell her I said that, please.

 

Anyway, anyone else experienced the High Pressure Sales shite, or even the out and out surealism that we just endured?

[Dandyesque]

No.

 

The last time I had a double glazing salesman in the house, I asked him outright if I looked like an 80 year old woman.

 

That seemed to do the trick.

 

Strangely though, he told me to call up again in 4 or 5 months as the windows would be a lot cheaper then.

 

You see, they have annual targets, so the trick is to get them in when they're desperate to get their bonus and they'll practically beg you to accept half price deals

[muttondressedaslamb]

Had gypos asking to do the drive.

[Quanny]

That guy is a tit. If the deal was good u could have bought them at this years prices, only payed a deposit and had them fitted in the spring and pay the remaining balance then. What company was it?

[BrianFaePerth]

We've had all manner of foreigners round the doors in the last year or so.

 

Piotr and Pavel have come round wanting to flog everything fae bread to, just last night, tacky Eastern European Christmas tat.

 

Nkube has come round selling books to help build churches back in Kenya.

 

 

Give them their due, it was -10 yesterday evening and they were committed enough to be out flogging shite, but more importantly, eh have to open the door in thon weather to tell them to GTF.

 

Fuckin foreigners

[granite sheep]

I get fucking Oxfam chuggers who somehow get intae the block o flats, then proceed to chap on everuone's doors in an effort to get ma donations. Espesially annoying as the only folk who generally chap on yer door are the bobbies. Almost always told to fuck off.

[Bluto10]

had three of 4 jehovas now at my door.

 

one was a weegie woman.

[Bluto10]

Fuckin foreigners

 

aye fuck off back to dundee you dundonian mink.

 

thats what your neighbours think.

[BrianFaePerth]

aye fuck off back to dundee you dundonian mink.

 

thats what your neighbours think.

 

This country has 5 million foreigners, primarily of the noggie persuasion

[RUL]

I once had someone round trying to sell me "treble glazing" which was bullet proof. i wasnt sure if he was trying to sell me it or if it was a coded threat?

 

What I'm getting is apparently people sent round by the government to check my loft for insulation?

 

I must have had about ten visits, including from the company that insulated my loft in the first place five years ago. With that and cunts challenging me to reclaim ppi on loans I've never even had, I can only sympathise.

[daytripping]

ppi is the worst at the moment, cunts.

 

Once had a bad experience with a guy who I thought was from the police and was going to advise me on my home security for free, he was actually a burglar alarm sales man, couldn't get rid of the fecker, my other half was pregnant at the time and he was coming away with stuff like what if someone breaks in and harms your partner and baby, in the end just had to ask him to leave.

 

Had another really bad experience with Living design where I actually bought a kitchen from them, the salesman was a tosser who told me lies about it being interest free, when I started paying for it it clearly wasn't he denied all knowledge of ever saying that, the kitchen itself was a disaster as well but that's another story!

 

I'm now a battle hardened type who just tells them to do one.

[Bluto10]

ppi is the worst at the moment, cunts.

 

Once had a bad experience with a guy who I thought was from the police and was going to advise me on my home security for free, he was actually a burglar alarm sales man, couldn't get rid of the fecker, my other half was pregnant at the time and he was coming away with stuff like what if someone breaks in and harms your partner and baby, in the end just had to ask him to leave.

 

Had another really bad experience with Living design where I actually bought a kitchen from them, the salesman was a tosser who told me lies about it being interest free, when I started paying for it it clearly wasn't he denied all knowledge of ever saying that, the kitchen itself was a disaster as well but that's another story!

 

I'm now a battle hardened type who just tells them to do one.

 

youve been through the mill min.

 

what doesnt kill you just makes you stronger.

[daytripping]

youve been through the mill min.

 

what doesnt kill you just makes you stronger.

 

Too true, as the great Ronan Keating once sang, Life is a rollercoaster, Just gotta ride it.

[Bluto10]

Too true, as the great Ronan Keating once sang, Life is a rollercoaster, Just gotta ride it.

 

and if all else fails, show these sales monkies that youre the bigger man, turn the other cheek.

[boboisared]

and if all else fails, show these sales monkies that youre the bigger man, turn the other cheek.

You say it best, when you say nothing at all.

[RUL]

 

Too true, as the great Ronan Keating once sang, Life is a rollercoaster, Just gotta ride it.

Hah...is that you keegs???

[Dynamo]

had three of 4 jehovas now at my door.

 

one was a weegie woman.

 

Bit of company for you though, not all bad especially at this time of year.

[Bluto10]

You say it best, when you say nothing at all.

 

were two peas in a pod.

[looksgoodinred]

I used to go door to door trying to persuade people to get their gas bill from Hydro Electric rather than British Gas.

 

Same pipes, same gas, just cheaper bills.

 

I used to con and talk utter shyte to get the deal, even used to sign up people who got their gas on a pay as you go meter and didn't get bills in the first place.

 

I did feel a bit guilty signing up a lady who was blind, she thought she had to sign the sheet to say I had been there to read her meter. I even helped guide her hand to the dotted line.

 

 

During that time I was chased from a street by irate locals, punched in the face and also received oral sex from an alkie woman with no teeth who was a bit lonely.

 

 

but did you close the deal, and get her signature on the dotted line?