Most Idiotic Thing You've Ever Done

[radiatorbleeder]

Jim Jefferies- the comedian, nae the dunfermline manager was doing a gig at the lemon tree a few year back.

 

Anyhow, just back to work after a 5-6 day bender working at that Jury's Inn hotel at union square and was pretty pissed off becasue I had a ticket for months but had to sell it to one of my mates.

 

Covering the reception bit, some Australian boy wi a smokin hot bird comes up and asks for directions to the lemon tree so i draws him oot a map and asks 'you off to see jim jefferies aye? the boys funny as fuck eh' to which he replied 'yeah'

 

just as he walks oot the door, realised it was the man himself. never felt like such a gluepot.

[Ke1t]

Almost pissing myself with excitement waiting for Millertime's contribution to this thread

 

[daytripping]

I stole a car whilst pissed with my mates, was walking home from the Muggiemoss club in my early 20's, saw a Capri in a drive with the internal light on, I had a Capri key in my pocket and thought why not give it a go, the door was open, guy must have got home drunk.

 

The key fitted and the rest is history, I crashed into a ditch beside Kirkhill of Skene at 2 in the morning, the next car that came along the road was a police car, I'd crashed into a fence in Westhill so someone must have called them (I was doing some stupid speeds), we were trying to get it out of the ditch when they came into view.

 

My brother and a mate got lifted at the scene, I was hot footing through a field at this time, the two arrested sung like canaries and the police were waiting to arrest me when I got home a few hours later, I evaded police dogs and big spotlights into fields to make it home!

 

The only bonus was the treck sobered me up and I passed the breathalyser by a milligram.

 

Told the policeman I thought my thumb was broken, he bent it backwards with a lot of force to prove it wasn't, the chunt!

 

And that was my short career as a car thief, thought I might go down for it but only got fined £100 due to the magic of Mike Munro, the owner of the Capri then made it his mission to track me down.......he did one night back at the Muggiemoss and I battered him for his troubles, I felt guilty doing it, wish I'd let him do me when I think about it. I deserved a hiding.

[cow]

I once attended at rangers v PSG game paying in at the home end. Was with a flat mate who was a hun.

 

I attended to see a young Ronaldinho in action. He was actually shite. I think it ended 0-0 or 1-0 rangers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cow. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> -1 is over here.

[daytripping]

I once attended at rangers v PSG game paying in at the home end. Was with a flat mate who was a hun.

 

I attended to see a young Ronaldinho in action. He was actually shite. I think it ended 0-0 or 1-0 rangers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cow. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> -1 is over here.

 

Wasn't there trouble at that game with the away fans?

 

I'm sure that's the day a load of Aberdeen went down and met with our Dutch friends, may have been more recently though.

[Geoff_Tipps]

My chum (when we were around 12 yrs old) was throwing chuckies at someones living room window but didn't manage to hit it. Someone picked up a larger stone and it smashed right through.

 

No reaction from the house for a whle then this elderly woman came running out onto the street screamoing and crying. The police and an ambulance were along in no time and as we hid in amongst trees accros the road, they eventually took this body out on a stretcher.

 

The husband had a heart attack and died as he got such a shock when the stone came crashing through his window.

 

Hope your chum got severely punished for that.

[Jigot]

My chum (when we were around 12 yrs old) was throwing chuckies at someones living room window but didn't manage to hit it. Someone picked up a larger stone and it smashed right through.

 

No reaction from the house for a whle then this elderly woman came running out onto the street screamoing and crying. The police and an ambulance were along in no time and as we hid in amongst trees accros the road, they eventually took this body out on a stretcher.

 

The husband had a heart attack and died as he got such a shock when the stone came crashing through his window.

Respect man.

Nae wonder yer no richt Rumpus you must be mentally scarred!

 

 

 

 

 

Me and my mate were about 12-13 and we rolled one of those massive cable drum things down from next to a sub-station at the top of the park. We had been aiming for the boating pond or the paddling pool but the cunt rolled between the both of them at a frightening speed and demolished the wooden scout hall.

I was feart to answer the door for weeks.

[a don in oz]

I considered moving to the USA. 'kin crazy.

[Frank Butcher]

Wasn't there trouble at that game with the away fans?

 

I'm sure that's the day a load of Aberdeen went down and met with our Dutch friends, may have been more recently though.

 

PSG not PSV

 

You, thinking of the Feyenoord game ?

[360]

Jumped off my mates shed once... sore knees for about 20 minutes!!

 

Also, not idiotic but funny. Loosened my mates bike wheel and when he tried to do a wheelie he only lifted up the frame of the bike and the front wheel kept on rolling... crash!!!!

[spamspamspam]

...

 

I'm extremely surprised our paths havent crossed dayts, Joy and now the muggie. I used to drink there for years, mate of mine worked in the mill and I was an associate member. Played snooker and darts for them.

[Bluto10]

spammer

 

dayts can ve found on the margins of aberdeens seedy underbelly with similarly likeminded mentalists high on a cocktail of stella and drufhs

 

[E-P-K]

Ibiza, 17 years ago, 17 years old, first time abroad with my mates, first night, back to hotel at silly o clock, doved out of our head, having a carry on no handy, then there is loud banging on the door in irate Spanish, security guard along with hotel manager, so as the security guard is rumbling in his pocket to find the master key, EPK decides to climb over the balcony, 10 floors up, to safety.

 

I manage to climb up to the next balcony above, sheer lunacy,

 

And after I manage to pull myself up, I hear the security guard giving my 2 mates a good slapping, and asking where the other one was, "on the balcony outside"

 

So when they look outside, no EPK, "he have wings" "you lie to us" and another slap all round.

 

Anyway, I also got a good smack from said guard, as the folk on the above room, were rudely woken by me knocking on there balcony door and called reception.

 

 

Welcome to Ibiza.

[daytripping]

I'm extremely surprised our paths havent crossed dayts, Joy and now the muggie. I used to drink there for years, mate of mine worked in the mill and I was an associate member. Played snooker and darts for them.

 

We must have at some point!

 

I was a Muggie regular for years, mostly Sunday nights dancing to the likes of the Bash street kids and Stan Fraser!

 

Used to have some great nights down there, pity it closed.

[daytripping]

spammer

 

dayts can ve found on the margins of aberdeens seedy underbelly with similarly likeminded mentalists high on a cocktail of stella and drufhs

 

 

I can be surprisingly normal at times as well!

[granite sheep]

Anyone mind the Extra fresh breath strips ye put on yer tongue? Done four whole packs all at once for a

[ChutneyLove]

Anyone mind the Extra fresh breath strips ye put on yer tongue? Done four whole packs all at once for a

[cow]

Last week.

 

Cow: Entered the bathroom.

 

Cow's: Breath stunk of beer and pussy juice.

 

Cow: Needed to freshen his breath

 

Cow: Picked up the light blue plastic bottle, and drunk enough to fill the mouth.

 

Cow: Had a mouthful of Bath foaming liquid.

 

Cow: Was sick everywhere, with bubbles forming.

 

Cow: Was very angry at Mrs Cow, without reason.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cow.

[granite sheep]

Cow: made of fail.

[Jigot]

I tried to chore a 53 seater which was half full of screaming auld age pensioners. I ended up rollin aboot the pavement with the bus driver when he come back fae the fag shop.

[Poodler]

https://mobile.twitter.com/Millertime_9/status/295520585230974977

 

 

 

Hi Millertime

[Henry]

https://mobile.twitt...520585230974977

 

 

 

Hi Millertime

 

 

What is adultwork? Can't click it at work.

[Poodler]

An escort website actually. And you can even review the birds you've paid for. Trouble in paradise?

[Henry]

Oh dear MT, and just after getting engaged too, this doesn't bode well.

[Sheep#1]

Oh dear MT, and just after getting engaged too, this doesn't bode well.

 

If we had scored a late goal yesterday, would have said the daftest thing you had ever done was leaving the Ark with 25mins still to play

[Sheep#1]

Quite enjoyed the Ark when down that way.

 

Full of weegies like, but ach alright for a pint.

 

the Weegie content is actually a lot less than other pubs in the city centre as it's mainly a student pub, so fair mix of folk from all over. Should go in the summer on a nice day, the beer garden is quality, as Tommy will testify to

[Henry]

If we had scored a late goal yesterday, would have said the daftest thing you had ever done was leaving the Ark with 25mins still to play

 

 

You stalking me??

 

I had Sky Go on my phone

[Sheep#1]

 

You stalking me??

 

I had Sky Go on my phone

 

Yes, I seen your red frilly knickers in the bogs too.

 

I only clocked you when you were walking out to leave. On weekend release from Orkney?

[Henry]

Yes, I seen your red frilly knickers in the bogs too.

 

I only clocked you when you were walking out to leave. On weekend release from Orkney?

 

Down seeing some chums.

[Karl Fletcher]

16 years old.

 

Was an affa cunt at the time and my parents couldn't trust me as far as they could throw me.

 

My parents were going down to Edinburgh for the weekend and arranged for me to stay at a pal's house taking away all my house keys in the process so I didn't have a party.

 

I ended up breaking into my own house and throwing a party.

 

Whole school turned up.

 

Hoose wrecked, broke my bedroom window and for some reason made a phonecall at 1am to my Mum to tell her all this.

 

This was all about 6 weeks after I'd ended up in hospital for drinking a bottle of vodka straight.

 

I think my parents have almost forgiven for me for the year that was 2003