Self-Sufficiency: Are You Ready To Survive?

[dervish]

Get any good shit from their abandoned houses? How much did you get for the cat ransom? I'd have been sending videos of one cat eating bits of the other accompanied with my bank details.

[BrianFaePerth]

Yesterday we received the entire month of August's average rainfall in 7 hours.

 

 

According to weather.com, that'd be about 65-70mm.

 

 

Poofs. A light shower.

[ChutneyLove]

Pooves is the plural, Byen min.

[BrianFaePerth]

Pooves is the plural, Byen min.

 

Faggots then

[E-P-K]

 

 

According to weather.com, that'd be about 65-70mm.

 

 

Poofs. A light shower.

 

 

 

Aye you will nearly be into 9 months rainy season, the joys of Bergen.

 

 

At least you had a scorching summer.

[BrianFaePerth]

 

 

 

Aye you will nearly be into 9 months rainy season, the joys of Bergen.

 

 

At least you had a scorching summer.

 

 

That we did. Despite the fact we hadn't had a proper Summer in 7 years, we are going to pay for it.

 

 

The monsoons are back now

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Talking of survival stories, check this out:

Four-year-old survives 11-day ordeal in bear-infested Siberian forest

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/11031872/Four-year-old-survives-11-day-ordeal-in-bear-infested-Siberian-forest.html

 

I can only think she has some Putin-genes lol

[looksgoodinred]

you came to mind @@Ke1t when i saw this documentary on just disappearing into the far north.

no running water. no electricity.

i don't know that i'd have brought cats with me. but each to their own.

 

it sounded like your dream getaway.

 

http://allthetimeintheworld.ca/

 

"I always felt like there wasn't enough time for the things that really counted." - Suzanne Crocker

For nine months, filmmaker Suzanne Crocker, her husband Gerard Parsons, and their three children, made themselves at home in the isolated wilderness of Yukon. They arrived there in August of 2010, and settled in for the long winter together... along with their two cats, and their dog Max.

[Ke1t]

These shows are usually all fluff and camera angles.

 

Les Stroud did some 'off the grid' documentary, telling us how he's cut ties with society and was now, along with his family, surviving on roots and nuts he found in the forest. Then, shortly after filming ended, he drove his Humvee back to his massive mansion and stuck on the PPV boxing on his giant telly.

 

If I run into him in a survival situation out in the woods I will not hesitate to kill and eat the guy.

 

[BrianFaePerth]

Maybe it's just me, but whenever eh see programs about people living "off the grid" or up north, my only thought is how hairy the burds' bushes must be.

[Poodler]

Maybe it's just me, but whenever eh see programs about people living "off the grid" or up north, my only thought is how hairy the burds' bushes must be.

And nae toothpaste.

 

Fan I'm out in the hills I've always got my toothpaste/ brush, da ken how folk can cope with that unclean teeth feeling

[ChutneyLove]

Bog-roll. Imagine all the space-taking an essential like bog roll would use up? You'd have to perfect a single sheet, one-ply wiping technique. On a diet of roots and nuts there wouldn't be many clean breaks either.

 

I could live with the 70s minges for a wee while, but I'd have to get the bird to just pluck once it got annoying. I wouldn't be doing any growling in the absence of shower gel / Imperial Leather.

 

It would be like living in the Soother for a close-season. Having to use that abrasive wiping paper and eating the scraps fae the catering shit-holes. I might approach National Geographic channel and see if they want to film me roughing it in Pittodrie during the close-season, with only one Soother bog-roll supplied to me on the last day of the current campaign to keep me going.

[The Boofon]

If the Tarzan shite doesn't work, offer to smash her back doors in as well. Might get out of paying for garage doors and get your hole in one fell swoop.

 

Oh, and they're nae flashlights, a chandelier is a flash light, they're bloody torches!

Incorrect. It is a flashlight. A torch is used for burning darkies. (Copyright GWT)

[ChutneyLove]

A bunch of dockin leaves dipped into a crisp clear stream would clean a minge up nae bother.

 

All this minge work is a new concept anyway. Men over thousands of years has had to make do with a good old ripe hairy minge and I bet he was right in about it, blowing the lice out the way to get to the smelly yeasty jackpot.

 

Worked with a guy who wouldn't enter a relationship with a bird unless she was shaved bald at all times in the vaginal area.

 

I like a big bushy minge, nae a fan of the half way down the thighs and up to the belly button jobs just the classic 1970's soft erotica fannys. I would just love to set up shop with a 1970's fluff lady in a 1970's country house cutting around in flares listening to Led Zep and Black Sabbath.........and ride her senseless of course, right up the council.

 

I am aware we have worked together, nae need to speak about me in the 3rd person on here.

Just joking, I have relaxed my demands somewhat - about the same time I got married.

[dervish]

Bog-roll. Imagine all the space-taking an essential like bog roll would use up? You'd have to perfect a single sheet, one-ply wiping technique. On a diet of roots and nuts there wouldn't be many clean breaks either.

 

I could live with the 70s minges for a wee while, but I'd have to get the bird to just pluck once it got annoying. I wouldn't be doing any growling in the absence of shower gel / Imperial Leather.

 

It would be like living in the Soother for a close-season. Having to use that abrasive wiping paper and eating the scraps fae the catering shit-holes. I might approach National Geographic channel and see if they want to film me roughing it in Pittodrie during the close-season, with only one Soother bog-roll supplied to me on the last day of the current campaign to keep me going.

 

 

I always remember folk opening ration packs for the first time. Looking at the kleenex and saying "fucking hell they think of everything even tissue paper to blow your nose"... Took great delight in explaining that you poke your finger through a sheet and claw at your ring. Then wipe your finger with it on the withdraw to make sure you get it done.

[looksgoodinred]

holy crap! this is about as survivorman bad ass as they come, i'd say.

 

 

Never at a loss, Wharton, a resourceful hunter and inventor, who lived near Little Fort B.C. in the 1950s and 60s, shot a deer and used its teeth to make dentures for himself.

Then turned around and ate the deer ... with its own teeth.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/francis-wharton-killed-deer-dentures-teeth-1.3211739

[elephantstone78]

8 legs of venison £40 quid. Too dear?

[The Boofon]

8 legs of venison £40 quid. Too dear?

 

The joke is "Affa deer" is it not?

[Redforever86]

 

The joke is "Affa deer" is it not?

Wouldn't that be two legs?