Harry Lauder.

[Ke1t]

Harry Lauder used to be the pinnacle of entertainment... and I'm not fucking joking.

 

Before X-Box, Playstation, Netflix, internet porn, and Champions League on Demand, Harry Lauder was a national megastar who would entertain the fucking shit out of the people of Scotland and beyond with his incredible stage show. A show which involved him dressing up like the kind of Scotsman that only ever existed on shortbread tins destined for export, and telling 'hilarious' stories about kettles and teapots, all while singing songs that make you want to fill your ears with boiling cement.

 

He died way before I was ever born, but grandparents would speak of Harry Lauder in the sort of hushed and reverend tones that you usually hear Catholics reserve for the Pope.

 

You have to think that if Harry Lauder was the best the entertainment industry had to offer our grandparents, then there's really no mystery as to why they used to fuck off abroad for lengthy World Wars every so often.

 

Anyway, Harry Lauder... a national treasure.

 

 

 

[Guest]

The Scots emigrated in big numbers in decades and centuries past. The only Scots who choose to go to the USA these days are fucking wankers. When a person chooses to domicile themselves in a country where the poor are denied healthcare, they might as well declare themselves enemies of humanity. When the public sector rebel against Obamacare, this sickness is not just perpetuated but institutional. The rest of the world know that the US are the antichrist, the biggest hypocrisy on planet earth. That those with choice choose to bring up children there is beyond reasonable, a manifestation of the same sick selfish culture. That these same sick fucks can continuously have a pop at Scotland, for reasons mostly inane, is to illustrate a lack of clarity in their thinking and a confusion about who and what they are, let alone what they stand for.

[Jigot]

Harry Lauder used to be the pinnacle of entertainment... and I'm not fucking joking.

 

Before X-Box, Playstation, Netflix, internet porn, and Champions League on Demand, Harry Lauder was a national megastar who would entertain the fucking shit out of the people of Scotland and beyond with his incredible stage show. A show which involved him dressing up like the kind of Scotsman that only ever existed on shortbread tins destined for export, and telling 'hilarious' stories about kettles and teapots, all while singing songs that make you want to fill your ears with boiling cement.

 

He died way before I was ever born, but grandparents would speak of Harry Lauder in the sort of hushed and reverend tones that you usually hear Catholics reserve for the Pope.

 

You have to think that if Harry Lauder was the best the entertainment industry had to offer our grandparents, then there's really no mystery as to why they used to fuck off abroad for lengthy World Wars every so often.

 

Anyway, Harry Lauder... a national treasure.

 

The Road And The Miles To Dundee always brings a tear to my eye, when I think of '86 that is

[Ke1t]

The Road And The Miles To Dundee always brings a tear to my eye, when I think of '86 that is

 

Ooft... doesnae sound like a man who liked his whizz.

 

This must have been his pre-whizz phase.

 

He liked his whizz. My granny fair liked him, bless her... not sure she was aware of the whizz business. Not sure she would even have understood it even if someone had told her about it, though?

 

"Whizz?" she'd have said.

 

""Aye... whizz." I might have told her.

 

"He sung Donald fars yer troosers to the troops at Dunkirk." she would have said. "And it was thruppence to get into the Palace on a Saturday night. Oh, but they were right handsome in their uniforms."

 

"Aye, smacked up on whizz, he was, nana." I'd have persisted. "Oot his tree on Columbian."

 

"And Harry Lauder... oh, that was entertainment." she would have gone on.

 

...anyway.

 

[daytripping]

One of the Scotland the what guys died today, they were brilliant in their day, would you mind starting a topic on it kelt? I'm on my phone, takes me all my time to make a post!

 

Must be some good stuff on you tube.

[Ke1t]

One of the Scotland the what guys died today, they were brilliant in their day, would you mind starting a topic on it kelt? I'm on my phone, takes me all my time to make a post!

 

Must be some good stuff on you tube.

 

Funnily enough, I was just thinking about you today, m'loon.

 

Keep an eye on your PM there....

[Ke1t]

Here's some Andy Stewart done properly.

 

I recall a Men They Couldn't Hang gig back in the day where a mate of mine, a Celtic-supporting ASC (you heard that right) threatened to boot fuck out of the lead singer unless they played Donald Fars Yer Troosers.

 

They subsequently played Donald Fars Yer Troosers, presumably to avoid confrontation with a very angry Bod fae Crown Street.

 

This is what we used to dance to, kids...

 

[The Boofon]

The Scots emigrated in big numbers in decades and centuries past. The only Scots who choose to go to the USA these days are fucking wankers. When a person chooses to domicile themselves in a country where the poor are denied healthcare, they might as well declare themselves enemies of humanity. When the public sector rebel against Obamacare, this sickness is not just perpetuated but institutional. The rest of the world know that the US are the antichrist, the biggest hypocrisy on planet earth. That those with choice choose to bring up children there is beyond reasonable, a manifestation of the same sick selfish culture. That these same sick fucks can continuously have a pop at Scotland, for reasons mostly inane, is to illustrate a lack of clarity in their thinking and a confusion about who and what they are, let alone what they stand for.

I disagree.

[The Boofon]

Harry Lauder used to be the pinnacle of entertainment... and I'm not fucking joking. Before X-Box, Playstation, Netflix, internet porn, and Champions League on Demand, Harry Lauder was a national megastar who would entertain the fucking shit out of the people of Scotland and beyond with his incredible stage show. A show which involved him dressing up like the kind of Scotsman that only ever existed on shortbread tins destined for export, and telling 'hilarious' stories about kettles and teapots, all while singing songs that make you want to fill your ears with boiling cement. He died way before I was ever born, but grandparents would speak of Harry Lauder in the sort of hushed and reverend tones that you usually hear Catholics reserve for the Pope. You have to think that if Harry Lauder was the best the entertainment industry had to offer our grandparents, then there's really no mystery as to why they used to fuck off abroad for lengthy World Wars every so often. Anyway, Harry Lauder... a national treasure.

We used to sing Roaming in the gloaming to the huns.

 

Roaming in the gloaming with St Patrick's fenian band,

Roaming in the gloaming with a shamrock in your hand,

And when the music stops,

Fuck king Billy and John Knox,

Oh it's good to be a Roman Catholic.

 

How times have changed. I can't imagine singing shite like that at fitba these days.

 

SAS, bang bang bang.

[Makaveli]

Back window of my house looks onto Sir Harry Lauder Road. Useless fact.

[Jigot]

Back window of my house looks onto Sir Harry Lauder Road. Useless fact.

I think that is a cunt of a road masel