Christmas Present Ideas

[Ke1t]

Struggling this year... nae idea what to get the wife.

 

What's everyone getting their significant others?

[ChutneyLove]

Was thinking about a concert ticket. Well, I'll buy a pair and she can take a mate with her. Just need to check who's playing in the next few months.

 

That and I'll tidy up my pubes for our Christmas bedroom Olympics extravaganza.

[Guest]

If I want or need something, I buy it.

 

If the wife wants or needs something, she buys it.

 

We never buy each other anything.

 

For birthdays. Xmas. Anniversaries etc.

 

Before anyone cites lack of romantic spirit, that's not it.

 

She will get an eternity ring on our 25th next year. But she chooses it.

 

We just don't dig on wasting money and risking unwanted presents.

 

Feeble behaviour.

[Ke1t]

Was thinking about a concert ticket. Well, I'll buy a pair and she can take a mate with her. Just need to check who's playing in the next few months.

 

That and I'll tidy up my pubes for our Christmas bedroom Olympics extravaganza.

 

Must admit to never even having considered 'pube tidying' as a form of gift-giving

 

...well, not for Christmas, at least.

 

Randomly flpping through Amazon for ideas... 3D camera might do her. She probaby doesn't want one, but fuck it... I'm out of ideas.

[ChutneyLove]

 

Must admit to never even having considered 'pube tidying' as a form of gift-giving

 

...well, not for Christmas, at least.

 

 

I suppose it all depends on how much skull-fucking you do. Can be quite thoughtful gesture.

[Ke1t]

 

I suppose it all depends on how much skull-fucking you do. Can be quite thoughtful gesture.

 

Nothing says Christmas like a skullfucking, I guess.

[ChutneyLove]

 

Nothing says Christmas like a skullfucking, I guess.

It can be a most religious experience.

[tup]

If I want or need something, I buy it.

If the wife wants or needs something, she buys it.

We never buy each other anything.

For birthdays. Xmas. Anniversaries etc.

Before anyone cites lack of romantic spirit, that's not it.

She will get an eternity ring on our 25th next year. But she chooses it.

We just don't dig on wasting money and risking unwanted presents.

Feeble behaviour.

Agreed.

 

No cunt gets anything from me. Except the kids obviously, that would be mean after all.

 

Some adults behave pathetically at Christmas, but I suppose this just mirrors their feel character which they must have for the other 11 months.

 

GTF with your 'Christmas spirit' pish is my message to these folk.

[ChutneyLove]

Well said tup. Though even you are surely not above a Christmas pubic trim?

[tup]

I've never really considered it.

 

Christmas should last about a week IMO, decorations up on the 20th, and down on the 27th. That is plenty.

 

Anyone trying to string it out longer is either glaikit or after your cash.

[Stoney]

Wifes pretty easy to buy for,

 

And all i want is tickets and travel paid for the united game......... easy biscuits.

[Henry]

 

 

Randomly flpping through Amazon for ideas... 3D camera might do her. She probaby doesn't want one, but fuck it... I'm out of ideas.

 

MEN have begun half-heartedly looking through Amazon in a bid to buy something appropriate for a female.

As the Christmas Doomsday Clock reaches T minus one month, the website has seen an increase in search terms including ‘woman gift’, ‘Keira Knightley motorbike perfume’ and ‘books about relationships’.

Beginning his journey towards universal disappointment, Wayne Hayes, from Carlisle, said: “Last year’s present of ‘e-vouchers’ was frowned upon.

“So now I’m playing CD roulette with Michael Bublé and his fellow plastic Sinatras in a bid to remember which one she thinks is ‘brilliant’.”

Meanwhile, Amazon is offering to assess the perfect ‘woman gift’ based on her previous purchases, the items on her wish list and a complex algorithm involving stereotypes.

Delivery options will also be simplified into two options, ‘whatever, as long as it’s before the 24th’ and ‘it’s the 24th tomorrow – that’ll be sixty quid’.

Girlfriend Nikki Hollis said: “I do hope he gets me something I like, but that would mean him knowing something about me besides how many glasses of wine it normally takes.

“It’s a Christmas conundrum.”

[Bluto10]

If I want or need something, I buy it.

 

If the wife wants or needs something, she buys it.

 

We never buy each other anything.

 

For birthdays. Xmas. Anniversaries etc.

 

Before anyone cites lack of romantic spirit, that's not it.

 

She will get an eternity ring on our 25th next year. But she chooses it.

 

We just don't dig on wasting money and risking unwanted presents.

 

Feeble behaviour.

 

granite heart.

 

nothin more romantic than some petrol station flowers and a box of celebrations

[Bluto10]

this christmas ill mostly be buying myself a bottle of whysky and some beers from the local microbrew place, try them for size.

 

material gifts are for those lacking a personality; imagination goes without saying.

 

when i buy presents theyre always doing presents; for the experience rather than the material gain.

something to do with loved ones; gives memories far more rewarding than any tradional gift

[Henry]

this christmas ill mostly be buying myself a bottle of whysky and some beers from the local microbrew place, try them for size.

 

material gifts are for those lacking a personality; imagination goes without saying.

 

when i buy presents theyre always doing presents; for the experience rather than the material gain.

something to do with loved ones; gives memories far more rewarding than any tradional gift

 

Bulto's Xmas Shppoing List 2013

 

1 x bottle whiksey

12 x super strenthg lager

1 x micorwave turky dinner for one

[Bluto10]

youre more predictable than i am.

[dave_min]

For Christmas i'm taking (potential) burd to New York.

 

Taking her out to some Restaurant during the day, then some Broadway show at night (as I couldn't get Knicks tickets).

 

That should be enough to keep her quiet for a while.

[Pash]

Going in tomorrow to get my Christmas shopping done.

 

Getting her a 3/4 or 1/2 size acoustic guitar, she has a normal size one but she struggles to play it as she is only wee. She really wants a dog but she can gtf. Will get her some other small bits and bobs like iTunes vouchers etc.

 

Mother wants a William and Kate commemorative mug! Haha, just glad she told me what she wants for a change.

 

Step Dad has got SAF autobiography (bought by mother).

 

Sister and kids are getting money or vouchers sent down to Manc.

 

Brother will get a text if he is lucky.

 

EASY.

 

[King Street Loon]

Going in tomorrow to get my Christmas shopping done.

 

Getting her a 3/4 or 1/2 size acoustic guitar, she has a normal size one but she struggles to play it as she is only wee. She really wants a dog but she can gtf. Will get her some other small bits and bobs like iTunes vouchers etc.

 

Mother wants a William and Kate commemorative mug! Haha, just glad she told me what she wants for a change.

 

Step Dad has got SAF autobiography (bought by mother).

 

Sister and kids are getting money or vouchers sent down to Manc.

 

Brother will get a text if he is lucky.

 

EASY.

 

Not a fan of your step dad?

 

Save him the mind numbing boredom of reading the SAF book.

It's easily one of the worst I've read.

[Pash]

Not a fan of your step dad?

 

Save him the mind numbing boredom of reading the SAF book.

It's easily one of the worst I've read.

 

Just got a text from Mother yesterday saying she has got it for me to give to him.

 

Ok I said! One less person to buy for.

[BrianFaePerth]

Struggling this year... nae idea what to get the wife.

 

 

 

Get her nothing, she's a moslemist isn't she? Tell her its what Allah wants.

[spamspamspam]

 

3D camera might do her. She probaby doesn't want one, but fuck it... I'm out of ideas.

 

Yes but you do and thats all that matters

 

youre more predictable than i am.

 

I knew you were going to type that.

 

 

 

On a separate note...

 

Its amazing how similar fan heaters and fanny eaters sounds when said by a slightly posh English wifie.

 

 

Maybe get her a posh English fan heater kelt, you can post 3D photos of her face next to it enjoying the glow.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Struggling this year... nae idea what to get the wife.

 

What's everyone getting their significant others?

 

 

What about an Aberdeen football club gnome?

 

https://shop.afc.co.uk/products/6700

 

(The board should find out whose idea it was to stock gnomes in the club shop, and sack the fool).

[Dynamo]

For Christmas i'm taking (potential) burd to New York.

 

Taking her out to some Restaurant during the day, then some Broadway show at night (as I couldn't get Knicks tickets).

 

That should be enough to keep her quiet for a while.

 

 

Still?

[dave_min]

Still?

 

I'm not one to rush things.

[BrianFaePerth]

 

I'm not one to rush things.

 

In other words she's not putting out.

[dave_min]

 

In other words she's not putting out.

 

It would not be unfair to suggest that the physical stuff has dried up a little since she emigrated.

[BrianFaePerth]

 

It would not be unfair to suggest that the physical stuff has dried up a little since she emigrated.

Fair play, you don't let the little matter of a woman emigrating after she meets you put you off trying to get your hole

[The Boofon]

 

 

What about an Aberdeen football club gnome?

 

https://shop.afc.co.uk/products/6700

 

(The board should find out whose idea it was to stock gnomes in the club shop, and sack the fool).

Oh god I thought we'd consigned this to the Top Secret files never to be opened.

 

Fucking gnomes.

[dave_min]

Fair play, you don't let the little matter of a woman emigrating after she meets you put you off trying to get your hole

 

To be fair, she's only emigrated on me twice now

 

Oh god I thought we'd consigned this to the Top Secret files never to be opened.

 

Fucking gnomes.

 

-1.