Parlez Vouz Et Humma Humma

[Jigot]

The morns nicht one of my next door neebirs is coming hame. Although she's a wee bittie aulder than me I reckon she'll be gagging fer it after runnin after her great grand bairns for a fortnight. I was planning to charm the bloomers off her with a feast of pot noodles but some dirty, greedy bastard ate the lot through during the night, a love rival nae doubt. The thing is, it's left me in a bit of a quandary, should I use a dollop of ordinary Mayo or garlic. I know all cocks look the same hingin through the slats of a fence but I'd hate to get it wrong .

[fine-n-dandy]

Use cat nip.

Never fails