Jump to content

Aberdonian Lifehacks


Canada_Don

Recommended Posts

LifeHack: ''A tool or technique that makes some aspect of one's life easier or more efficient''

 

If you don't find your partner attractive, wank to pornstars that look like them. Your brain will start linking traits they share with the pornstar to sexy-time and complete orgasms.

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment

Also, if you are going to drink at work keep a small bottle of hand sanitiser at your desk. When someone enters the room use it. They will assume that the vodka is simply the scent of the sanitiser.

 

Simples.

I've just necked a bottle of hand sanitiser, what happens now?

Link to comment

Drink half of your pint then stick your finger up your arse before taking your pint glass to the bar and raising the glass (with stinky finger) to the barman's nose and claiming the pint is ''off''

 

Hey presto

 

A brand new fresh pinty.

 

Also known as the 'Bluto' manoeuvre.

 

Although he doesn't try and get his pint swapped out.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

I accidentally vommed a mouthful of spew into my mates pint in Ma Cameron's one Christmas Eve. I thought he'd noticed but then he picked it up and took a drink while I was rinsing my mouth out with lager. Before I could decide whether to tell him or not he stormed up to the bar and told the barmaid to taste it, which she did and got a fresh pint. I didn't own up for a few months

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...

A casual vomit can clear the head and set you up for another 6 hours drinking. Never needed it myself as I have an iron constitution but seen it work plenty of times :beer:

 

The casual vomit also works when deep sea fishing - especially when you are off shift and trying to sleep - no matter how good your sea legs are, constant 30 foot waves will turn your stomach and keep you awake - finger down the throat and a casual vomit into a rag will see you get a decent sleep :sleeping:

Link to comment

A casual vomit can clear the head and set you up for another 6 hours drinking. Never needed it myself as I have an iron constitution but seen it work plenty of times :beer:

 

The casual vomit also works when deep sea fishing - especially when you are off shift and trying to sleep - no matter how good your sea legs are, constant 30 foot waves will turn your stomach and keep you awake - finger down the throat and a casual vomit into a rag will see you get a decent sleep :sleeping:

 

The drinking vomit is true. Been a while since i've tested it though...not drank to the point of wanting to vomit for a long time.

Link to comment

Few weeks ago I drank so much shit that I genuinely thought something in my heid had permanently snapped.

 

At one point I was swaying around in the bog trying to have a pish, and seriously contemplating how I was going to cope as a retarded person...

 

...did you ever get my PM, tup?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...