Dating Tups For Tip

[manboobs109]

I told you you weren't on block, but you can't come up with better insults than 'wee teapot' you might be.

Downer

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Some genuine advice to Tup or any young Gentleman "playing the field" out there:

 

I made it big with women only after I realised that I was the prize on offer, not her.

 

Mark my words. You can thank me at the wedding reception.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

You've never been you weegie fuckwit.

 

Weegies are not welcome in the north, where you will feel the cold chill of true cultural hatred.

 

That's mean Tup, we area all brothers and sisters. We should not resent each other based on mere accidents of birth, such as where you come from, or how tall or hairy you are.

 

Maybe the woman of your dreams will ultimately hail from Glasgow? I bet we have a wee stunnah somewhere, just for you byraway.

[tup]

No chance I'm telling you I genuinely don't like folk from weegieland.

 

They tend to be of low wit and obsessed with historical irrelevance to the point of sheer cuntery.

[manboobs109]

Pipe down before I get you banned.

Genuine advice here, have a few wanks before you meet her. Keep going til you are spitting salt. It'll chill you right out and if you do get lucky it'll stop you going off too quickly.

[tup]

I ken what I'm doing, I'm always available to give advice even if I dont always take it.

[manboobs109]

I ken what I'm doing, I'm always available to give advice even if I dont always take it.

Seriously man. Wank on before the date.

[Ke1t]

Genuine advice here, have a few wanks before you meet her. Keep going til you are spitting salt. It'll chill you right out and if you do get lucky it'll stop you going off too quickly.

 

I received this same advice one time from one of my older colleagues when he found out I was taking out the huge tittied bird that used to walk past our office. "Mind and hae a wank afore ye tak her oot, so's ye kin last laanger fan ye fuck er." he advised.

 

"I'm half your age, min." I explained, "I'll be banging the tits aff her a' night."

 

Good advice if you're giving it to an auld cunt... worthless if you're giving it to anyone under 30.

[BrianFaePerth]

He's a modern day Yorkshire ripper.

 

The Norwegian for grouse is ryper.

 

They sell frozen grouse meat in the supermarkets here branded as "Yorkshire Ryper". No Noggie gets it, but it makes me chuckle everytime eh see it.

[manboobs109]

 

I received this same advice one time from one of my older colleagues when he found out I was taking out the huge tittied bird that used to walk past our office. "Mind and hae a wank afore ye tak her oot, so's ye kin last laanger fan ye fuck er." he advised.

 

"I'm half your age, min." I explained, "I'll be banging the tits aff her a' night."

 

Good advice if you're giving it to an auld cunt... worthless if you're giving it to anyone under 30.

When I was younger a good few wanks changed the vibe of the whole date. I could have a conversation, crack a joke, generally be chilled and good company. No wanks and I turned every conversation sexual, busy hands, twitchy, impatient, everything that women hate. I reckon Tup would benefit from it.

[BrianFaePerth]

When I was younger a good few wanks changed the vibe of the whole date. I could have a conversation, crack a joke, generally be chilled and good company. No wanks and I turned every conversation sexual, busy hands, twitchy, impatient, everything that women hate. I reckon Tup would benefit from it.

 

Might be an idea to have a wank before you come on here then.

[manboobs109]

 

Might be an idea to have a wank before you come on here then.

I usually wank while I'm on here

[tup]

I dinna suffer from nerves or emotions.

[Poodler]

I've had to wank mid night out before so as I didn't cheat on previous girlfriends. Definitely changes the frame of mind.

[BrianFaePerth]

I've had to wank mid night out before so as I didn't cheat on previous girlfriends. Definitely changes the frame of mind.

 

and the taste of your mate's pint.

[Bluto10]

I've had to wank mid night out before so as I didn't cheat on previous girlfriends. Definitely changes the frame of mind.

He'd have been worth it tho

[looksgoodinred]

I was only jesting with LGIR.

 

Silly fat fuck overreacted.

 

He's probably never shared a joke with a woman before.

 

you may want to check your sense of humour at the door with your disdain then.

though maybe you've got some fun activity planned and you won't actually have to talk overly much.

[tup]

This is like Dear Deirdre.

[Tommy]

you may want to check your sense of humour at the door with your disdain then.

though maybe you've got some fun activity planned and you won't actually have to talk overly much.

 

I can imagine. 'Hey bitch, shut up, I'm in the middle of a wank'

[looksgoodinred]

This is like Dear Deirdre.

 

let's hope not for your sake.

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/deidre/6935872/Dear-Deidre-I-make-a-fortune-as-a-teenage-call-girl.html

[caledonia]

Only two more sleeps

[Ke1t]

 

you may want to check your sense of humour at the door with your disdain then.

though maybe you've got some fun activity planned and you won't actually have to talk overly much.

 

What do you look for in a good date, LGIR?

 

 

Women are kind of judgemental, I guess, so your team is constantly appraising everything from the guy's watch to how neat his hair is...

 

Let's say a shortish, baldish, red-facedish, unkemptish, boorish, aloofish, untalkativish sort was glaring at you across the table on a first date... not saying anything except to one-up anything you said. Let's say, for whatever reason, he just stared at you for the entirety of the date, never blinking, and there's a general atmosphere of unemotional detachment in everything from his body language to his short, terse responses to your attempts at conversation?

 

...and he says he'll pay for dinner so long as you don't go over Ten British Pounds of food and drink combined... and you're walking home.

 

Maybe outside he offers to race you to the nearest street lamp along the street, in order to prove he's faster than you.

 

Is that the sort of date you'd like to go on?

[tup]

That's as far off the mark as eb4b's nonsense.

 

I can make women laugh. The rest is easy.

[looksgoodinred]

That's as far off the mark as eb4b's nonsense.

 

I can make women laugh. The rest is easy.

 

but are they laughing with you, Tup?

[daytripping]

I've met Tup, fine guy who could sweep any woman off their feet with his wit and generosity, I don't think he needs any advice.

[looksgoodinred]

 

What do you look for in a good date, LGIR?

 

 

Women are kind of judgemental, I guess, so your team is constantly appraising everything from the guy's watch to how neat his hair is...

 

Let's say a shortish, baldish, red-facedish, unkemptish, boorish, aloofish, untalkativish sort was glaring at you across the table on a first date... not saying anything except to one-up anything you said. Let's say, for whatever reason, he just stared at you for the entirety of the date, never blinking, and there's a general atmosphere of unemotional detachment in everything from his body language to his short, terse responses to your attempts at conversation?

 

...and he says he'll pay for dinner so long as you don't go over Ten British Pounds of food and drink combined... and you're walking home.

 

Maybe outside he offers to race you to the nearest street lamp along the street, in order to prove he's faster than you.

 

Is that the sort of date you'd like to go on?

 

no. and none of the reasons would relate to looks.

 

one of the reasons would be that if this mythical man can't manage the give and take of a conversation. and seemingly has to prove he can beat me at everything all the time, he doesn't sound very generous or giving. i'd suggest not giving out of bed, makes for less than giving in bed as well. he'd be a shite ride.

 

so not for me, thanks.

[looksgoodinred]

I've met Tup, fine guy who could sweep any woman off their feet with his wit and generosity, I don't think he needs any advice.

 

are you a woman then, that you know this for a fact?

[tup]

Thanks daytripping, he's right.

 

They are laughing with me LGIR.

[daytripping]

 

are you a woman then, that you know this for a fact?

 

I'm a great judge of character, can spot a decent guy from a wanker a mile off, Tup falls into the decent sector, hence he'll get on fine tomorrow night. The problem with a lot of women is their failure to stick to this simple question hence why "bad boys in their big cars" are seen as an attractive proposition for many women, takes a good while for many to spot what a male would have spotted in two seconds.

 

The real question is....will the woman be good enough for Tup.

[tup]

 

That's it aye