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Things Folk Get Lodged Inside Them

Clydeside_Sheep

By Clydeside_Sheep,
in The Pub

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Clydeside_Sheep Mentor

Clydeside_Sheep

Posted
Posted

Check this, some lassie managed to get a vibrator stuck right up her arse:

 

Miss Phillips, from Wallasey, Merseyside, initially tried removing it at her home using a fork handle and barbecue prongs - but failed.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3824801/Mother-one-24-forced-undergo-surgery-remove-seven-inch-pink-sex-toy-boyfriend-got-stuck-BOTTOM.html

 

:laughing::laughing:

 

BBQ prongs? What were they thinking? Surely any normal person would have tried to suck it out with the hoover?

 

Reminds me of:

 

I knew a girl who once had a condom stuck insider her cervix, and she recounted how her boyfriend was down there trying to fish it out with the non-writing end of a biro pen :laughing:

 

And had a 1st hand account of story of a man who, when phoning for an ambulance, claimed he had been assaulted when asked why he wanted it. So the police were sent ahead of the medics (as is standard) to find that he had in fact stuck a door handle up his arse, which had torn the lining of his lower intestine and he couldn't get it back out.

 

:laughing:

 

Must be a real hoot to work in hospitals at times, folk with things stuck up their arse must nearly offset all the death and tragedy.

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Clydeside_Sheep Mentor

Clydeside_Sheep

Posted
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Posted

Predictable joke alert: I imagine you've had a priest lodged inside you at some point or other.

:laughing:

 

Don't they tend to stay in a parish house?

 

Still, I suppose it might save on the heating bills...

:laughing:

 

I am indeed better insulated!

 

There must be a few similar stories to the above on here, if ppl share it could be a new version of the "pissed yourself?" thread.

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strachanmcgheegoal Grand Master

strachanmcgheegoal

Posted
Posted

"...After being rushed to hospital to have the toy surgically removed, she is now speaking out to warn others not allow embarrassment to stop them seeking help if they find themselves in a similar predicament..."

 

:omg::dontknow::moonie::nono::tommy:

That she went to facebook prior to being rushed to hospital is telling. As is his willingness to share that her "Saturday Morning Playtime" with him was so fulfilling, so monumentally satisfying, that she felt the need to ram a pink dildo up her arse. Kids min!

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dervish Mentor

dervish

Posted
Posted

Dr I know told me a story whee they were in the pub across the road from the hosital. Got called in (just) to have a look at some boy who'd shoved a light bulb up his arse. Posh old surgeon says to him after... "The operation was a success Sir... but I'm very sorry to have to say you have lost the baby."

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looksgoodinred Newbie

looksgoodinred

Posted
Posted

A good few years back I shagged a bird and my sheath ripped

 

I saw her a year or so later and she told me the doctor pulled half a jonny out of her flange after she had developed a putrid smelling cunt

 

How we laughed!

 

you've got to be rethinking your career choice as an ob/gyn when you've got your head between her legs digging that (or the more commonly forgotten last tampon of a period) out. :unsure:

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looksgoodinred Newbie

looksgoodinred

Posted
Posted

Since everybody else seems to be skirting round the issue I'll ask.

You ever had a similar experience LGIR?

 

Once in my 20s. It only takes once and you don't forget it again. Just bear down though and it comes down enough to get it with your fingers.

 

:laughing: Good point. I've always wondered how they transition the initial small talk of " Busy day?/Some weather we're having" etc to " Ok , lets see that problem twat".

 

 

No transition generally required. They chit chat with you and tell you to put your feet in the stirrups and move your bum to the end of the exam table, keep chit chatting and then ask if you're having any problems and if you say not they just keep chatting. You don't actually ever see their face - at least I've never. If I had an issue I expect it would be about the same -- head down while you're talking. So it's less embarrassing than you'd think.

 

It would be an incredibly proud moment for a lady however, if the gyno mused ,'What a pretty little pussy you have there.' You cant buy the confidence that moment provides.

 

 

Indeed you cannot.

 

The gyno is a very very powerful man.

Or woman. :wave:

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Lencarl Newbie

Lencarl

Posted
Posted

Mnombo Madyibi, 32, ended up with a bandaged head after getting intimate with his wife on their honeymoon having decided to abstain until they were wed.

The unnamed wife described her husband's penis as a 'hairy, scary cucumber' and he reportedly goes by the nickname of 'Anaconda' after his football teammates saw his manhood in the changing rooms.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3832304/Terrified-virgin-bride-bashes-husband-head-wine-bottle-seeing-large-

 

:laughing:

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Lencarl Newbie

Lencarl

Posted
Posted

Doctors have amputated a man's penis after it became stuck in a bottle he was using as a sex toy for four days.


A 50-year-old man arrived at a hospital in Honduras with a penis that was 'black and decaying' according to medical staff.


It is understood the man was trying to 'relieve sexual frustration' because he did not have a wife or girlfriend.



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3841666/Man-50-penis-removed-getting-trapped-sex-toy-bottle-FOUR-DAYS-causing-turn-black-die.html#ixzz4NHQIOI8x



Not good to bottle up your frustration :laughing:

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