How Would You Get Rid Of A Dead Body

[HairyPie]

Those twats on 48 hours always make a right arse of it. I'd get a boat, twenty miles out to sea, weighed down in a cloth bag. Nae porridge for me.

[Bluto10]

Seen enough cold case tv shows.

And all 8 seasons of Dexter.

 

Got quite a few ideas up my sleeve.

[dave_min]

Seen enough cold case tv shows.

And all 8 seasons of Dexter.

 

Got quite a few ideas up my sleeve.

Why not try a few out on yourself?

[ollie1903]

I'd gie Nat a bell

[Guest milne_afc]

I'd find an old landfill, prefferably with some gas pipelines running directly underground(the land will never be disturbed as planning permission would never be granted on site like this) and bury in a shallow grave with some acid and other corrosive shit.

 

Next question, officer.

 

Edit; the above would be my suggestion for a storyline on one of these cold case investigation tv programmes and is no reflection on real life.

[RAZOR]

Feed it to starving pigs.

[The Boofon]

I'd find an old landfill, prefferably with some gas pipelines running directly underground(the land will never be disturbed as planning permission would never be granted on site like this) and bury in a shallow grave with some acid and other corrosive shit.

 

Next question, officer.

 

Jesus. ??

[Ke1t]

Dismember the corpse in my woodshed, incinerate the flesh and burn the meat off the bones in my burn barrel, smash the bones into fragments with a sledgehammer, then dissolve the bones in a plastic drum filled with sulphuric acid.

 

2 grand parts and labour.

[The Boofon]

Combine harvester.

[dave_min]

Dismember the corpse in my woodshed, incinerate the flesh and burn the meat off the bones in my burn barrel, smash the bones into fragments with a sledgehammer, then dissolve the bones in a plastic drum filled with sulphuric acid.

 

2 grand parts and labour.

Do you offer group discounts?

[ollie1903]

Dismember the corpse in my woodshed, incinerate the flesh and burn the meat off the bones in my burn barrel, smash the bones into fragments with a sledgehammer, then dissolve the bones in a plastic drum filled with sulphuric acid.

 

2 grand parts and labour.

From experience?

[The Hulk]

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[The Boofon]

Surprised nobody has mentioned calling an undertaker yet.

[Reed or deed]

After I've had my fun with it

I'd cut it up in the bath

Then chuck it in the bin.

After you've had your fun with it?

 

What , like book a court and beat it at badminton?

[reekie_dock]

I'd be going to see Nat Frazer...

[RAZOR]

Who was that weirdo Aussie bloke that used to post on here that got outed as a murderer when he posted his picture? Sma funny yon.

[BrianFaePerth]

Give it to poodles as a present

[Reed or deed]

Keep the cunt and use it as a keeper or a wall for practicing free kicks in the back gairden.

[zander]

Who was that weirdo Aussie bloke that used to post on here that got outed as a murderer when he posted his picture? Sma funny yon.

Did he nae spit the dummy a few months back becuase folk were making rape jokes and he knew a woman who was raped?

[Ke1t]

From experience?

 

I'm a firm believer in Conflict Resolution.

 

Always have a series of steps you go through, rather than right from 0 to 100. That's how people get themselves into bother.

 

Make a list of your options, beginning with "A polite word in their ear" and ending with "Disposing of the bits".

 

[The Boofon]

I'd be going to see Nat Frazer...

Careful now.

 

@@milne_afc.

[StandFree1982]

Keep the cunt and use it as a keeper or a wall for practicing free kicks in the back gairden.

I was concerned about where you were going with that after reading the first three or four words. Thankfully not where I thought!

[Pudgie]

Feed it to the dog. Bones as chew toys.

[RAZOR]

Did he nae spit the dummy a few months back becuase folk were making rape jokes and he knew a woman who was raped?

that's right.

[HairyPie]

He was quite good value if I remember right, though I suppose all murderers have a nice side.

[BillyStarkDivinHeeder]

He was quite good value if I remember right, though I suppose all murderers have a nice side.

Yip, Ted Bundy dressed up as a clown and did magic tricks at children's birthday parties.

[Poodler]

Wish I'd seen this thread yesterday, would have been handy

 

 

I'm surprised no one has suggested eat/ sex yet

[ebbe]

I'd phone Boofon,

[Reed or deed]

I'd stuff the body and keep it and beat it at pool.

 

A win's a win.

[HairyPie]

Yip, Ted Bundy dressed up as a clown and did magic tricks at children's birthday parties.

Hide the sausage?