Utter Fiction

[Fridge]

In for a pint and overhears a conversation between two folk behind me.

 

He was playing golf at St Andrews, handicap of 18 and -4 after 14 holes.

 

Thing is he was telling his mate this, I would have given him respect if he was feeding shit to some hot bird.

 

Anyway what’s the most outrageous lie you’ve made up in order to try and nail a bird?

[BWG]

"I love you"

[tiktak]

In for a pint and overhears a conversation between two folk behind me.

 

He was playing golf at St Andrews, handicap of 18 and -4 after 14 holes.

 

Thing is he was telling his mate this, I would have given him respect if he was feeding shit to some hot bird.

 

Anyway what’s the most outrageous lie you’ve made up in order to try and nail a bird?

 

Sounds unlikely but you can get strange days on the golf course where things just fall for you. I remember at my local course as a 20 handicapper finishing with a 71. Putts just dropped from any distance. I couldn't match that even coming down to a 10 handicap eventually. 

[Don Fonte]

"come back to mine, we'll just cuddle, I'm not the sort to sleep with someone on the first night anyway"

[Poodler]

A pal of mine and I got talking to a couple of Irish lassies on holiday. He convinced her he was the owner of doonies farm, showing her pictures of all the animals. Hook line and sinker. Shagged her in a bush while I kept her dowdy friend company.

 

Hahahaha

 

Genius. What a man.

[Red_Rocket_1983]

I know what you’re all thinking. Studebaker playing second fiddle to his pal. This is the only man that could and ever will be able to trump me for the chosen woman. Just to set the record straight.

 

 

[maryhilldon]

I know what you’re all thinking. Studebaker playing second fiddle to his pal. This is the only man that could and ever will be able to trump me for the chosen woman. Just to set the record straight.

I gave it no thought whatsoever.

[YorkDon]

“I know you don’t normally do this on the first date,and yes I’ll totally respect you in the morning”

[Simply Red]

"come back to mine, we'll just cuddle, I'm not the sort to sleep with someone on the first night anyway"

Yeah used this a few times definitely. They knew it was horseshit aswell but just helping them convince themselves theyre not being sluts.

[manboobs109]

You cunts should just arrange a big cock measuring contest. It'd save me having to read this tripe.

[Parklife]

Once told a girl I'd split up with my girlfriend (who she knew) so that she'd sleep with me. I hadn't and I met my girlfriend later on in the same day.

 

Needless to say that it didn't end well for me.

 

Cunt behaviour but I was only 18.

[Parklife]

Thankfully you're not a cunt anymore, eh Parky?

Definitely not. Very unlike yourself.

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

You cunts should just arrange a big cock measuring contest. It'd save me having to read this tripe.

Aye, just make sure you take pics lads,eh chebs?

[Chewie37]

You cunts should just arrange a big cock measuring contest. It'd save me having to read this tripe.

Suppose you’ll need photos for proof eh?

[Chewie37]

Aye, just make sure you take pics lads,eh chebs?

Dammit

[Red_Rocket_1983]

You cunts should just arrange a big cock measuring contest. It'd save me having to read this tripe.

 

Is that a request? Each to their own.

[manboobs109]

Segregating yourself is now an option son. See you over at DWQ

It's getting that way Dad. Some painful reading lately.

[manboobs109]

I'm always argumentative man. It's my thing.

[Red_Rocket_1983]

Bent

 

To be fair he only helps them out when they are short staffed

[Don Fonte]

You cunts should just arrange a big cock measuring contest. It'd save me having to read this tripe.

I've got a very average sized willy to be honest.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

 feeding shit to some hot bird.

 

sounds like a specialist german or brazillian movie :laughing:  

[Hewitt a the pies]

Sounds unlikely but you can get strange days on the golf course where things just fall for you. I remember at my local course as a 20 handicapper finishing with a 71. Putts just dropped from any distance. I couldn't match that even coming down to a 10 handicap eventually. 

How did the back 9 go? 

[Clydeside_Sheep]

See those films , is that genuine poo or a chocolate substitute?

Dunno, i've never starred in one (failed the audition).

[maryhilldon]

It’s the way some of them devour it with such fervour.

I gag at the stench of it .

Never watched one. Never will.

[Reed or deed]

It’s the way some of them devour it with such fervour.

I gag at the stench of it .

  

It’s definitely an acquired taste.

Literally

Good to hear, that despite your slight hesitation you still manage to get it down.

[Chewie37]

Gassy erotica anyone?

Bri’s wife

[shut up meg]

In for a pint and overhears a conversation between two folk behind me.

 

He was playing golf at St Andrews, handicap of 18 and -4 after 14 holes.

 

Thing is he was telling his mate this, I would have given him respect if he was feeding shit to some hot bird.

 

Anyway what’s the most outrageous lie you’ve made up in order to try and nail a bird?

 

If you like utter fiction, head over to the what are you drinking thread.

[Chewie37]

Or transfer rumours

Some utterly fantastic tales going on over there, sheesh, the imagination on some folk

[reekie_dock]

Or transfer rumours

Brian Irvine’s loon always tells the truth