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41 minutes ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

I’d love to host an AFC chat bbq, would be a hoot.

Marinading is key for BBQ, have 6 different options, lemon and lime, teriyaki, Cajun seasoning, jerk, BbQ seasoning etc, season the day before with chicken and pork, make kebab skewers, have steaks but just plain, baked potatoes in a fire pit in the ground, a vast salad selection with homemade pastas, tattie salad, coleslaw, etc, fresh fruit section, a selection of pies, apple, peach etc, fresh custard, chocolate cake, but for the grill, tinfoil and split a banana, add in marshmallow and galaxy caramel, wrap up and place on grill, serve with ice cream or cream, turns into a thick diabetic pleasurable beauty.

for the vegetarian, garlic and chilli corn on the cobs, roasted garlic aubergine slices and asparagus, saureed green beans and mange tout, and a ovened roast veg selection(the taste after infused of flavour for 3 hours mmm), baby boilers(ayrshires), mash, roast,dauphinois,jacket tatties. 
 

make a few pots of soup, fresh fruit salad, pate with garlic bread, prawn cocktail, haggis Bon Bon’s with whiskey sauce, timbale of haggis, neeps, tatties with pepper sauce to start

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2 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Marinading is key for BBQ, have 6 different options, lemon and lime, teriyaki, Cajun seasoning, jerk, BbQ seasoning etc, season the day before with chicken and pork, make kebab skewers, have steaks but just plain, baked potatoes in a fire pit in the ground, a vast salad selection with homemade pastas, tattie salad, coleslaw, etc, fresh fruit section, a selection of pies, apple, peach etc, fresh custard, chocolate cake, but for the grill, tinfoil and split a banana, add in marshmallow and galaxy caramel, wrap up and place on grill, serve with ice cream or cream, turns into a thick diabetic pleasurable beauty.

That sounds brill. 

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7 minutes ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

That sounds brill. 

ooh yes, Brill.  Or Swordfish even better.  Tuna at a push. Magic on a BBQ that.

In all seriousness - if youre impressing birds just do as much as you can on the stove and stick them on the BBQ at the end for effect - buried fire pit baked spuds FFS

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5 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Hi guys, thinking of having a bbq, what’s everyone’s favourite item to grill? 
 

Trying to impress the new bit of fluffs family and open to suggestion how to get the future mother in law creaming her panties as I satisfy her tastebuds. 

Tesco have an amazing line of vegan burgers sausages bacon chicken etc.

Hard to believe that they taste even better in the bar b q.

Enjoy Red Clive and thank me later.

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16 minutes ago, Edwin Starr said:

The bacon is not very good i agree .

But the rest is quite nice.

It’s not Edwin, fake meat has not got any appeal whatsoever, it doesn’t resemble meat, taste like meat, have the same qualities of meat, nor have the same texture of meat, the whole point of food is for substance and pleasure, plenty of non fake foods do that, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables cooked in all sorts of manners and recipes, always found it bemusing that vegans or vegetarians bought fake meat!, madness, especially when there’s a plethora of non animal foods that can easily appease a vegetarian without going down that fake plastic shit.

thats before I even talk about grains, pulses, herbs, grasses, etc 

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6 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Hi guys, thinking of having a bbq, what’s everyone’s favourite item to grill? 
 

Trying to impress the new bit of fluffs family and open to suggestion how to get the future mother in law creaming her panties as I satisfy her tastebuds. 

Get yersel down to the fishmarket - some clams, wrapped in a tin foil parcel with some lemon juice, only takes a minute or two, same with some mussels but pour in a wee drop of cider instead of the lemon juice, again, only takes a minute or two, none of this faffing for hours.

Then bang on some big prawns or lango's, make up some garlic butter to drizzle over and serve with some crusty bread.

If bairns there still on some bangers, or even a wee hot dog depending on age of bairn, keep bbq's simple, just make sure the drinks are flowing and everyone is pished and you will be fine

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6 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Hi guys, thinking of having a bbq, what’s everyone’s favourite item to grill? 
 

Trying to impress the new bit of fluffs family and open to suggestion how to get the future mother in law creaming her panties as I satisfy her tastebuds. 

FTH

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6 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Hi guys, thinking of having a bbq, what’s everyone’s favourite item to grill? 
 

Trying to impress the new bit of fluffs family and open to suggestion how to get the future mother in law creaming her panties as I satisfy her tastebuds. 

FTH again

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6 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Hi guys, thinking of having a bbq, what’s everyone’s favourite item to grill? 
 

Trying to impress the new bit of fluffs family and open to suggestion how to get the future mother in law creaming her panties as I satisfy her tastebuds. 

Brisket. 

Cut the flat from the point, and make brisket and smoked burnt ends. 

It can be tricky, though, so you need to make sure you're comfortable with the heat and timing, otherwse the brisket especially can turn out a dry mess. 

Get it right, though, and they'll think you're a god come to Earth, and she'll throw her daughter at you. 

Here's a MILF to walk you through it. 

Pro tip... you will need a meat thermometer. 

 

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1 minute ago, Ke1t said:

Brisket. 

Cut the flat from the point, and make brisket and smoked burnt ends. 

It can be tricky, though, so you need to make sure you're comfortable with the heat and rimming, otherwse the brisket especially can turn out a dry mess. 

Get it right, though, and they'll think you're a god come to Earth, and she'll throw her daughter at you. 

Here's a MILF to walk you through it. 

 

 

Aye, as long as your comfortable with the rimming

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5 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

Brisket. 

Cut the flat from the point, and make brisket and smoked burnt ends. 

It can be tricky, though, so you need to make sure you're comfortable with the heat and timing, otherwse the brisket especially can turn out a dry mess. 

Get it right, though, and they'll think you're a god come to Earth, and she'll throw her daughter at you. 

Here's a MILF to walk you through it. 

Pro tip... you will need a meat thermometer. 

 

Possibly the best food known to man, mmmm

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6 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Hi guys, thinking of having a bbq, what’s everyone’s favourite item to grill
 

Trying to impress the new bit of fluffs family and open to suggestion how to get the future mother in law creaming her panties as I satisfy her tastebuds. 

Your mum's tits.

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1 hour ago, Dons79 said:

Set it up, il cook for the day, saves me talking to half the lunatics that frequent on here, while having a laugh at the same time, put up a go fund page for the grub and booze, whoever’s prevalent on the Friday night juker thread is in charge of the tunes. AK in charge of the drugs, seems likely to know a few folk 😂.

I'll provide the step ladder for you.

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If you want to do something that's a piece of piss to make, filets are the way to go. 

Get your filets, rub a little olive oil on, season, leave to absorb flavours for an hour. People will say to leave them in the fridge but that's shite. Cold meat congeals fats, and that absorbs nothing. Warm meat liquifies fat, and that absorbs seasoning. 

For your standard 'rare' fire up the grill, throw on the steaks, set a timer for 3 minutes, rotate 90 degrees after 3 minutes. this creates the grill pattern on the steaks. When the second 3 minutes is up flip the steaks, cook for 3 minutes, then rotate and leave for another 3 minutes. 

For more well done you can leave the steak on for a little longer... or, for extreme cases you can butterfly the steak and cook the same way and time as rare. 

Piece of piss to make, tastes magical. 

Side note. Wave your spatula at anyone who says "Can I have steak sauce" and repeat this phrase, "I will cut the fucking head off anyone who tries to put steak sauce on one of my fucking steaks!" 

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1 hour ago, Edwin Starr said:

Tesco have an amazing line of vegan burgers sausages bacon chicken etc.

Hard to believe that they taste even better in the bar b q.

Enjoy Red Clive and thank me later.

Processed, chemical laden shite min. Thought an athlete like yersel would ken better!

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11 minutes ago, Edwin Starr said:

We make much of our own food from scratch but twice a week we have fast food rubbish 

I hope that's ok for you NEM 🤣

Ha ha I was veggie for 7 or 8 years min but started eating meat on the odd occasion again after realising the shite the fake burgers etc are made of

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10 minutes ago, NEM said:

Ha ha I was veggie for 7 or 8 years min but started eating meat on the odd occasion again after realising the shite the fake burgers etc are made of

That is true but there's plenty vegan good for you cooking books .

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13 minutes ago, NEM said:

Ha ha I was veggie for 7 or 8 years min but started eating meat on the odd occasion again after realising the shite the fake burgers etc are made of

My wife loves the VEGANEANDO Cook book.

Made this the other day 

 

20240620-181103.jpg

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Tried one of the first veggie burgers available back in the day... Venue started selling them for the vegan hippy sorts. 

Had the consistency and flavour of a carpet. 

Many years later I tried one for a second time. 

Had the consistency and flavour of wet cardboard. 

I don't know if that's progress or not. 

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Just now, Ke1t said:

Tried one of the first veggie burgers available back in the day... Venue started selling them for the vegan hippy sorts. 

Had the consistency and flavour of a carpet. 

Many years later I tried one for a second time. 

Had the consistency and flavour of wet cardboard. 

I don't know if that's progress or not. 

I heard they have progressed but we don't buy them Kelt.

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