What do you ask for when you go to the barber's? Jumby's Funday Friday Thread

[JumboJET]

Hi all. 

What do you ask for when you go to the barber's?

I'll pre-empt any jokers and say "a haircut" now. 

I ask for a #1 on the back and sides, and a decent amount taken off the top.

How about you? (Bald cunts need not respond!)

[Subterranean Homesick Roos]

I usually just show them a picture of Chris Waddle (late 80’s early 90’s) on my phone 

[YorkDon]

A Lionel Blair cut 

[Poodler]

A beer 

[Zeus]

The shinnie buzz cut 

[sigh]

45 minutes ago, JumboJET said:

 

I ask for a #1 on the back and sides, and a decent amount taken off the top.

 

Nr 2 back and sides with a scissor cut on the top - amount taken off depends if summer (a lot) or winter(not a lot)

[Roberto]

Double 0 back and sides, skin fade. Wee bit off the top, and thin it oot.

Tidy up and shape beard.

Every 2-3 weeks.

[Reed or deed]

A blow job.

[Andy_123]

2 back and sides and a tidy up and thin out on top.

Too scared to ask for a fancy skin fade or whatever the kids get these days.

[McPhee123]

Up until early this year, skin fade and a wee bit off the top, but for the last 9 months just let it grow and get a wee tidy up on the beard. Every 6 weeks or so

[dave_min]

Fuck all.

The boy always asks if I just want the usual. No idea what that actually is.

[Studebaker-90]

Skin fade, tidy up on top. Dinna speak or look at me when you’re doing it. 

[1903Fitba]

[maryhilldon]

Usually 3 on top and 2 round the back and sides.

[The Boofon]

2 hours ago, Reed or deed said:

A blow job.

And does Fizam ever say no problem?

[Don Fonte]

21 minutes ago, maryhilldon said:

Usually 3 on top and 2 round the back and sides.

Liar.

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

A scythe to cut the lying on top of my skull hair and a shaver (blade 2 or 3 (what ever comes to hand first)) to do the sides and sideburns. 

[Dons79]

Been going to the Turkish for years, does the eyebrow, nose hairs with the wax thing, don’t need my ears done as of yet, I get a 2 aw round and scissors only at the top normally a three/two, guy also asks me the usual but can be fucked what that actually means, I walk out the same every time, neat at least.

[Don Fonte]

11 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Been going to the Turkish for years, does the eyebrow, nose hairs with the wax thing, don’t need my ears done as of yet, I get a 2 aw round and scissors only at the top normally a three/two, guy also asks me the usual but can be fucked what that actually means, I walk out the same every time, neat at least.

Do you get one of that wee booster seat things?

Cute.

[Dons79]

Just now, Don Fonte said:

Do you get one of that wee booster seat things?

Cute.

Only when I want a shave don, you can never be to careful, do need a punt up on the actual chair, why they always have them super extended so you have to climb like it’s a monroe il never know. Sadists maybe, il not be beaten.

[Redforever86]

25 minutes ago, Dons79 said:

Only when I want a shave don, you can never be to careful, do need a punt up on the actual chair, why they always have them super extended so you have to climb like it’s a monroe il never know. Sadists maybe, il not be beaten.

Don't think she'd let you mount her, dead or alive, fresh hair cut or not. 

[Dons79]

3 minutes ago, Redforever86 said:

Don't think she'd let you mount her, dead or alive, fresh hair cut or not. 

You can always try!. That’s a defeatist attitude, 

as they say god loves a deed shagger?, or is that trier?, get mixed up, il go the former.

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

1 hour ago, Dons79 said:

Only when I want a shave don, you can never be to careful, do need a punt up on the actual chair, why they always have them super extended so you have to climb like it’s a monroe il never know. Sadists maybe, il not be beaten.

Never knew Marilyn had a  new range of furniture named after her, after all these years since her passing too.

[Reed or deed]

2 hours ago, The Boofon said:

And does Fizam ever say no problem?

Who or what is fizam? 

[Dons79]

16 minutes ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

Never knew Marilyn had a  new range of furniture named after her, after all these years since her passing 

brilliant

[The Boofon]

1 hour ago, Reed or deed said:

Who or what is fizam? 

Local Turkish barber. I’ve probably got the spelling wrong. He gives good head. 

[JumboJET]

Getting my hair cut tomorrow for the first time since mid June 2024.

Long overdue

[Subterranean Homesick Roos]

3 hours ago, JumboJET said:

Getting my hair cut tomorrow for the first time since mid June 2024.

Long overdue

Post before and after pics

[JumboJET]

13 hours ago, Subterranean Homesick Roos said:

Post before and after pics

You wish

[Don Fonte]

The usual.

And for her to brush her tits against my face.

Terrific.