Fridge Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 As per another thread. I was once driving down South Deeside Road, came round the corner and there was a car coming head on toward me on the wrong side. Some foreign boy who had came out of Ardoe and forgot which side of the road to drive on. Also got caught adrift at the beach and I’m a shit swimmer, waves going over my heid and was swallowing water. Thought it was tatties. Link to comment
Don Fonte Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 I went to New York in 2008, not so many years after 9/11. A close call I think you'll agree. #couldhavebeenme #countingmyblessings #markedsafe Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 once watched Apocalypse Now. Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Crashed/uncontrolled wheelied a child's motorbike into a lamppost while high on crack cocaine. The drugs probably saved my life. So let that be a lesson to you. Link to comment
Ke1t Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Too many to count... here's a few choice stories of courage and survival. The McDonalds in Nevsky Prospect in St Petersburg, Russia, went in there to order breakfast (in Russian, no fucking less), and only a few years after I stepped out of the building a terrorist bomb blew the fucking thing up. Close call. I'm not saying I was the target.. but who the fuck blows up a McDonalds unless they know someone in particular is in there ordering a McSoviet Muffin? Driving back to Aberdeen from Tomintoul, a stripper in the passenger seat, going through the mountains... spending more time staring at her tits than looking at the nighttime, icy, winter road... miss a turn, blaze through a fence into pitch dark open air. Thought we'd gone off the side of the mountain and was about to Kelta and Louise it all the way to the bottom of the glen a million feet below. Screamed like a girl, might even have sharted a little, until we come to rest in some teuchter's field, a total dip of a few feet. It was a strippery miracle. Canoeing down a river in the wilds of the Midwest, had been raining for days and the water was deep as shit and fast as fuck. Smash into a low hanging branch as we round a bend in the river and dump about a thousand mental wolf spiders into the canoe with us. Immediately one of the occupants freaks the fuck out as these spiders swarm us... canoe is rapidly tipped and we end up getting swept off with our upturned canoe. Link to comment
The Buzzard Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Hit by a flying kettle in Slough one night. Link to comment
daytripping Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Driving a FS1E bike one day as a 14 year old, was stuck in 2nd gear, thing was a wreck, brakes were crap, nae helmet giving it laldie when the throttle stuck open, should have just jumped off but stayed with it, will never know how I took some corners and missed cars, eventually dawned on me to turn the petrol tap off, it saved my life. Krakow, mate thought I was dead after I was knocked oot. Leading the battle of Ibrox in 85, was like the film 300. Link to comment
Don Fonte Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Driving a FS1E bike one day as a 14 year old, was stuck in 2nd gear, thing was a wreck, brakes were crap, nae helmet giving it laldie when the throttle stuck open, should have just jumped off but stayed with it, will never know how I took some corners and missed cars, eventually dawned on me to turn the petrol tap off, it saved my life. Krakow, mate thought I was dead after I was knocked oot. Leading the battle of Ibrox in 85, was like the film 300.What happened in Krakow? Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Argyll home if it kills me, you should have quipped. Link to comment
Poodler Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Nearly died in a headlock from Stinky Garth in '06 Kelt, I drove that road yesterday. Was up Ben Rinnes and had lunch at the old bridge of Livet. There were no strippers involved, disappointingly Link to comment
daytripping Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 What happened in Krakow? Nae sure if that's a piss take, well documented on here and I got slagged for mentioning it, I posted regular updates from my hospital bed!! Link to comment
elephantstone78 Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Years ago decided at the end of a night out to carry my good lady up the stone steps to our third floor tenement flat. My romantic and chivalrous act was undone when we hit the giggles and toppled back arse over tit down a dozen stone steps. Convinced it was only fact we were hammered and that gave us cat like flexibility that saved us from death / broken bones. Think it made the sex better 1 1 Link to comment
1903Fitba Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Once got a knife pulled on me in Malia for accidentally slapping a police officer/private security bloke. Ran as fast as I could for what felt like a lifetime. Ended up getting a lift back to my hotel on a quad bike with some French boy who wouldn’t shut up talking about PSG. Link to comment
minijc Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 stuck on a bus in the middle of a shoot out in Orlando when I was 13, ended up with the gang lad getting shot then bitten by a police dog, bullets whizzing past the bus. Also got threatened with a gun in a Bulgarian casino a few years back. Link to comment
daytripping Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Just remembered...fought half a dozen security guards on the 4th floor walk way of a Tenerife shithole 18/30 hotel years ago, rooms to one side, fall to death the other, was brutal, have pictures somewhere, next day I was black and blue all over from the batons. Next day reps tried to kick us out but we kicked up such a fuss and asked for the police they let us stay, next night we just fought them on the ground floor. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Nearly died in a headlock from Stinky Garth in '06 Kelt, I drove that road yesterday. Was up Ben Rinnes and had lunch at the old bridge of Livet. There were no strippers involved, disappointinglyNo dangerous bends on that road either. Got kidnapped* from Al Queda and survived without being beheaded. Top that fuckers. *experience has been changed for effect. Link to comment
Ke1t Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Nearly died in a headlock from Stinky Garth in '06 Kelt, I drove that road yesterday. Was up Ben Rinnes and had lunch at the old bridge of Livet. There were no strippers involved, disappointingly Once stabbed a guy who had me in a headlock. Got into a bit of soapy for that. The Tomintoul - Aberdeen drive is always better when you've a tidy lassie half oot a Naughty Policewoman uniform sat next to you, although it does make that drive a fuck sight more treacherous. Worth the risk, tbh. 1 1 Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Having a knife pulled on you, sitting in the vicinity of a shootout or being kidnapped aren't near death experiences. A nuisance - yes, but at no time could it be described as 'near death'. Nobody has ever died of fear. 1903, mini and boof have to pick again. I survived a drunk driver mounting a kerb and smashing into my bmx. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 I got punched through a wall by an overweight paper merchant branch manager Link to comment
Ke1t Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 No dangerous bends on that road either. Got kidnapped* from Al Queda and survived without being beheaded. Top that fuckers. *experience has been changed for effect. Don't recall saying it was a dangerous bend. Hiding in a wardrobe while Muslim bampots execute other people isn't a near death experience, you mop-heided fearty. Walk it off. Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Was it a mongoose ?No, Raleigh Burner iirc. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Having a knife pulled on you, sitting in the vicinity of a shootout or being kidnapped aren't near death experiences. A nuisance - yes, but at no time could it be described as 'near death'. Nobody has ever died of fear. 1903, mini and boof have to pick again. I survived a drunk driver mounting a kerb and smashing into my bmx.I borrowed my brothers racer in primary seven and my swimming bag got jammed in the front spikes flipping me over the handlebars rendering my unconscious. 27 stitches and a week in Elgin hospital. Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 I got punched through a wall by an overweight paper merchant branch managerGet back to work. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Also got hit on the head from a stapler thrown out of an office block. Owned by some dickhead called Garet. Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 I borrowed my brothers racer in primary seven and my swimming bag got jammed in the front spikes flipping me over the handlebars rendering my unconscious. 27 stitches and a week in Elgin hospital.Magic. Mind all the yoots had a racer at one point, used for stunts and long skids. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Magic. Mind all the yoots had a racer at one point, used for stunts and long skids.Love blutos chinos 1 Link to comment
Fridge Posted September 13, 2019 Author Share Posted September 13, 2019 Once walking to the train station in Glasgow my mate was wearing an Aberdeen top. Had been at a concert and we were getting the train to Dunfermline for the game before going home. Got clocked by a few Huns who went back into the bar and basically got everybody out. By absolute sheer luck a taxi turned up and we jumped in other wise a monumental hiding was away to be dished out. To them obvs. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Don't recall saying it was a dangerous bend. Hiding in a wardrobe while Muslim bampots execute other people isn't a near death experience, you mop-heided fearty. Walk it off.Cupboard not wardrobe. If it was a wardrobe I’d have fucked off to Narnia and bummed Mr Tumnus while shit was going down. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Magic. Mind all the yoots had a racer at one point, used for stunts and long skids.Got caught sneaking it out in the morning too by my old man. Told me to put it back as it’s too big. Pretended to put it back as he left for work then sneaked away on it. Boy was he surprised when he came home from work to find me KOd in hospital. Link to comment
daytripping Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Boof has top trump though if I was there I'd like to think I'd have done a flight 93 style counter assault, lets fucking do these cunts, armed with scissors and stuff. Link to comment
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