Memories of Players Doon the Toon

[Ke1t]

2 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Met an ex player in a Thai massage parlour. I wouldn’t want to name him.

I banged a stripper who had just returned from being shagged by two of Aberdeen's star players, both of whom were married I should add.

Their names will also remain a secret, though at this point I'm sure it doesn't matter. 

 

 

 

[Tommy]

10 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

I banged a stripper who had just returned from being shagged by two of Aberdeen's star players, both of whom were married I should add.

Their names will also remain a secret, though at this point I'm sure it doesn't matter. 

 

 

 

Of course it doesn’t matter.

 

[a don in oz]

When I was out visiting in the early 2010s sometime I went to Pittodrie to pick up tickets for some game I was going to see and just walked out of the ticket office back to the car and met Milson and... *blank*. Shit. Can't remember who. Another player that came in around the same time. Had a tiny chat. Doesn't really count since it was outside the ground.

Walking along Union Terrace towards Rosemount Viaduct, maybe mid 90s. Powering on, not paying attention, head probably down and walked around the corner walked straight into Eoin Jess coming the other way. Apologised for walking into the stranger and he 'no problemed' or something equally neutral and carried on and it took me a second to realise who it was. That's the only time I've bumped into any our players away from the gronud and it was a literal bump. 

(Wikipedia to the rescue: it was Isaac Osbourne, so that means it was sometime in 2011-2013)

[Poodler]

Met Sam Cosgrove on Union st, I think it was mayday 2019/20/21 or something. I was on a cocktail of drugs and he had a really REALLY bad outfit on. Laughably bad trousers and flowery shirt combo.

 

i asked him to join me in a chorus of the ibrox disaster 

 

he told me to fuk (lol censorship) off 

I think he was self conscious about the outfit 

[sooth_stander]

Joey Harper and Ernie McGarr once commandeered a snowplough and drove it from Windmill Brae down Union St. Or was it a bus, canna mind?

I never witnessed this event but thought I’d retell the story anyway. And it was on a night out .

[Johnnyred1]

Was at a player of the year bash. Pished and touched Hewitt's head (nea me too then) and said I've now touched the head that scored the winning goal v Real Madrid. Craig Robertson who was sitting opposite, quickly said, "thank fuck he didna score wi his arse"😅

[Russell]

Memories:

Zander Diamond was out every weekend

Long black leather jackets were popular - Neale Cooper (rip), Patrizio Billio (rip), Andreas Mayer (dgaf)

Paul Jarvie, former United keeper, had a shitty wee Ford Fiesta with a spoiler 

[Daisy1903]

Used to go to Alex Smiths pub a fair bit. He'd be in the pub all day drinks cups of coffee and telling anyone who'd listen that he never played for a draw.

Ebbe came in once and he was good fun. Will always remember him saying "I wish someone would fucking split those two up" (Glasgow mob).

He also ripped the pish out my Dunfermline supporting pal as they'd got beat 7-0 by Hearts that season.

Zero at a supporters club dance thing had a bunch of us surround him singing cone on eileen. He looked like he had no idea what was happening 

[Red Clive 1995]

3 hours ago, Ke1t said:

I banged a stripper who had just returned from being shagged by two of Aberdeen's star players, both of whom were married I should add.

Their names will also remain a secret, though at this point I'm sure it doesn't matter. 

 

 

 

Did she wash between shags?

[ericblack4boss]

John Hewitt in Costco with his wife  u presume

[Ten Caat]

I was in the same year at primary and high school as Ernie McGarr's younger daughter. 

He liked a good drink did old Ernie. Always stood the local Dons supporters a pint if we were in

[Donderheid]

5 hours ago, Ke1t said:

I banged a stripper who had just returned from being shagged by two of Aberdeen's star players, both of whom were married I should add.

Their names will also remain a secret, though at this point I'm sure it doesn't matter. 

 

 

 

Sloppy thirds 😁

[Zeus]

Seen Darren Mackie in a cafe in finavon.

[Simply Red]

Seen Billy Dodds and Joe Miller in a car coming out a flats carpark on the Gallowgate mid 90s. Blue Vauxhall Astra.

Jim Bett in Makro late 90s❤️

Coming back from the bogs in the casino to find Kenny Mclean chatting up my missus a more recent one. She had no idea who he was. I let it slide. Mustve been late as fuck and im sure we had Motherwell the day after. Spoke to him briefly about it but he wasnt very chatty after getting cockblocked. Hun cunt. 

[Ke1t]

2 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Did she wash between shags?

 

33 minutes ago, Donderheid said:

Sloppy thirds 😁

If she did then I still banged her after two of our star players, so that's contact of a sort. 

If she didn't then I can claim actual, physical sexual contact... sort of... with two of our star players, but in a no-homo sort of a way, clearly. 

It's a win win. 

 

[Ke1t]

31 minutes ago, Zeus said:

Seen Darren Mackie in a cafe in finavon.

How's he looking?

Put on some beef? 

[Donderheid]

3 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

 

If she did then I still banged her after two of our star players, so that's contact of a sort. 

If she didn't then I can claim actual, physical sexual contact... sort of... with two of our star players, but in a no-homo sort of a way, clearly. 

It's a win win. 

 

Almost a head to head in a way, clearly non homo

[Red Clive 1995]

5 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

 

If she did then I still banged her after two of our star players, so that's contact of a sort. 

If she didn't then I can claim actual, physical sexual contact... sort of... with two of our star players, but in a no-homo sort of a way, clearly. 

It's a win win. 

 

How much she cost you?

[RAZOR]

 

43 minutes ago, Zeus said:

Seen Darren Mackie in a cafe in finavon.

I had a good chat with him in Smyths a few years ago.

Boots still on ice after that brace at Fir Park

[Zeus]

7 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

How's he looking?

Put on some beef? 

Was still playing at the time.

A fellow AFC chat savagely trolled him.  I kept out of it, nothing but respect for the Dnipro Daz.

[Red Clive 1995]

17 minutes ago, Zeus said:

Was still playing at the time.

A fellow AFC chat savagely trolled him.  I kept out of it, nothing but respect for the Dnipro Daz.

Neepro daz the reading champ!

[Ke1t]

33 minutes ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

How much she cost you?

Massive bruises on my pelvis that lasted about 4 weeks. 

[Red Clive 1995]

6 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

Massive bruises on my pelvis that lasted about 4 weeks. 

Why the soft tissue bruising?

[King Street Loon]

Darren and Dek Yeung and Michael Hart were in Private Eyes one night enjoying themselves when I worked there for a bit.

 

[WesthillWanderersFC]

5 minutes ago, King Street Loon said:

Darren and Dek Yeung and Michael Hart were in Private Eyes one night enjoying themselves when I worked there for a bit.

 

How much did you charge for a dance? 

[King Street Loon]

6 minutes ago, WesthillWanderersFC said:

How much did you charge for a dance? 

More than they could afford 

[Ke1t]

6 minutes ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Why the soft tissue bruising?

Dangerously low body fat, coupled with a technique that involved a death grip and smashing down on your little fireman repeatedly and enthusiasticaly for a prolonged period of time. 

You weren't so much a sexual partner as the victim of a particulary violent assault on your lower torso. 

It was great. 

 

 

 

 

[donswin1983]

10 hours ago, Red Clive 1995 said:

Met an ex player in a Thai massage parlour. I wouldn’t want to name him.

Did you give him a happy ending? 

[The Boofon]

12 hours ago, sooth_stander said:

Joey Harper and Ernie McGarr once commandeered a snowplough and drove it from Windmill Brae down Union St. Or was it a bus, canna mind?

I never witnessed this event but thought I’d retell the story anyway. And it was on a night out .

Not the first time Harper has stolen something anyway. Very light fingered at Deveronvale when he was up there. VERY light fingered.

[RUL]

Was out the night Paterson was blootered before a game. his hangover wasn’t just drink related. 
 

Think his name was something Williams but he was a black coach we had for a while, I met him at a train station after a game at Motherwell. A nice guy but seemed strangely shocked to be recognised and probably didn’t enjoy my feedback as we were terrible at the time. Fairly sure he sacked it off not long after.

 

Markus heikennen just scouring the city on his own late at night. Strange character but a good player.