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RAGING alcoholic Tom Logan celebrates Oktoberfest every day in his flat, he has claimed.

49-year-old Logan enjoys beers from around the world in the celebratory atmosphere of his bedsit, with traditional entertainment from the television.

Logan said: “You don’t need to be in a big Bavarian tent with crowds, buxom barmaids and lederhosen to enjoy the world’s biggest festival of binge drinking. The best party is the one in your mind.

“My Oktoberfest happens at home, with just me there, and for twelve months a year instead of one.

“I used to vary the beer selection although now it’s focused on strong budget lager which has a great fizzy taste.

“Sometimes I cry uncontrollably for a bit but generally it is great.”

Logan admitted that this year’s Oktoberfest budget was particularly tight after he was sacked from his job and his wife divorced him.

“It hasn’t affected the vibe though. I’m still up all night, drinking and eating the sausages which are my only source of nutrients, until the neighbours bang on the ceiling.

“Even then I quite often tell them to fuck off. They’re just jealous.”




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  • 3 years later...


By Wayne Hayes

YOU’D never know it to look at me, but if you know football and you’re online, we’ve probably clashed once or twice.
Yeah. They call me RedGlory90. And I’m pretty much famous, on the football forums.
Had a go at Liverpool’s front line? That’ll have been me, tearing you a new one? Tried to claim your team deserves to be recognised as the greatest in England? I was the guy setting you fucking straight.
Remember “Messi can only be considered ‘great’ because he’s never had to compete with Ian Rush”? That was mine. “Liverpool’s net spend under Klopp is less than Sunderland’s”? That was me too.
Of course, I can’t always go by the same handle. Sometimes it’s taken, or occasionally I’ve been unfairly banned for taking to task some ManUre idiot who dares to suggest Alex Ferguson’s record can begin to compare to Bob Paisley’s. Certainly I have made threats of physical violence, but they were very clearly a joke and anyone who doesn’t realise that has no sense of humour.
But I believe the vast majority of fans I interact with respect my cogent arguments, backed up with evidence, and have walked away convinced that I am a reasonable man and that Liverpool are now, and always have been, indisputably the greatest team in Europe.
And seriously, if FergieFergieFerg cracks one more comment about Gerrard slipping on his arse I’m sending armed police round to his house. Wanker.



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