The Nightmare Date Thread

[Leightons_Missing_Teeth]

Following on from the Where Did You Get Your Nat King Cole the 1st time thread by Tenerifered i bring you The Nightmare Date Thread, whats your bad, unusual or scariest experience you've had on a date?

 

There was once a girl i met online, i had seen a picture of said girl who looked quite nice in the pictures. So i met this girl 1 weekend and she turned out to be 10 stone heavier than girl in the picture, she was brain dead and Hun to boot. The date lasted about 20 minutes, the longest 20 minutes of my life to. I had drivin from Aberdeen to Fraserburgh to meet her, i'll tell ye the drive back was alot quicker than on the way up. Went round to my mates flat as soon as i got back and got pished.

 

Another date was with a nurse, a dinner date and a meal which i cooked myself. Anyhoo she had the most annoying laugh and neddish voice ever. Did'nt see her again.

 

Then the was the one in Elgin who was quite hot actually, all was going well. We were wandering around the shops and about to go for lunch when i passed out in one of the shops. They thought i had a fit or something and i landed up in the back of an ambulance and carted of to Dr. Grays where they told me i passed out due to a flu bug. As for the girl, she was freaked out by it and did'nt want to see me again.

 

Another one tried to commit suicide hours before we were meant to go out, smart.

 

So whats your experience's been?

 

 

 

[redtildead88]

Following on from the Where Did You Get Your Nat King Cole the 1st time thread by Tenerifered i bring you The Nightmare Date Thread, whats your bad, unusual or scariest experience you've had on a date?

 

There was once a girl i met online, i had seen a picture of said girl who looked quite nice in the pictures. So i met this girl 1 weekend and she turned out to be 10 stone heavier than girl in the picture, she was brain dead and Hun to boot. The date lasted about 20 minutes, the longest 20 minutes of my life to. I had drivin from Aberdeen to Fraserburgh to meet her, i'll tell ye the drive back was alot quicker than on the way up. Went round to my mates flat as soon as i got back and got pished.

 

Another date was with a nurse, a dinner date and a meal which i cooked myself. Anyhoo she had the most annoying laugh and neddish voice ever. Did'nt see her again.

 

Then the was the one in Elgin who was quite hot actually, all was going well. We were wandering around the shops and about to go for lunch when i passed out in one of the shops. They thought i had a fit or something and i landed up in the back of an ambulance and carted of to Dr. Grays where they told me i passed out due to a flu bug. As for the girl, she was freaked out by it and did'nt want to see me again.

 

Another one tried to commit suicide hours before we were meant to go out, smart.

So whats your experience's been?

 

 

 

f**kin hell, she obviously wasn't looking forward to it!

[Sheep#1]

f**kin hell, she obviously wasn't looking forward to it!

 

Was just gonna say!

 

Nae disasters really, some good, some not so good, some indifferent.

[Ke1t]

Asked a bird oot long time ago, but earlier on the day I was supposed to meet her I met one of my mates on Union Street. He persuaded me to go for a "quick beer and ONE game of pool" which would still give me plenty time to get there on time.

 

I turned up half an hour late and pished oot my skull.

 

Hard to find the words to describe just how impressed she was.

[Leightons_Missing_Teeth]

f**kin hell, she obviously wasn't looking forward to it!

 

Turned out to be an attention seeking binter, drama after drama etc.....

[Slimfella]

Been there done that with the online beauty that turns out to be a hippocrocadogapig. Met one bird in the blue lamp, there was live music and thought it would go down well. She turned up, yikes, I swear I looked at the door to see if Scooby, Shaggy and the gang were chasing her. Anyhow, if you know the layout of the lamp, you'll know that there is a nice wee escape route via the bogs and through the little bar, the lampie. If we walked in together I'd have kept going through that revolving door.

 

VROOOOOOOOM! Running down the street looking over my shoulder thinking "f**k f**k....I'm gonna make it round that corner"

 

I did the same in Nazma , was starving like so got a Burger King before meeting my mates and getting p*shed.

 

Never did read the emails they sent me after that. Tip of the iceberg those.

[granite sheep]

Pulled some random in toon, exchanged numbers, met up later in week. Now, I like me sci-fi and me comics, but being mindful that quines usually dinna like findin oot that their lads like that sort o thing, I decided to be upfront about it. She then in all seriousness claimed that she was a fully paid up member of the local Star Trek fanclub, and had her uniform. Even worse, she had photographic proof. Now I'm a geek, but I have my limits. Fanaticism of Star Trek and uniform wearing makes me run away

[Slimfella]

I think I've seen her in toon

[Leightons_Missing_Teeth]

Pulled some random in toon, exchanged numbers, met up later in week. Now, I like me sci-fi and me comics, but being mindful that quines usually dinna like findin oot that their lads like that sort o thing, I decided to be upfront about it. She then in all seriousness claimed that she was a fully paid up member of the local Star Trek fanclub, and had her uniform. Even worse, she had photographic proof. Now I'm a geek, but I have my limits. Fanaticism of Star Trek and uniform wearing makes me run away

 

I take it she was'nt your final frontier then?

 

You did'nt go where no mans been before?

[granite sheep]

no but I have it on good authority that many brave space cadets have fiddled with her nacelles and been up her torpedo tubes...

[Leightons_Missing_Teeth]

Bump, anyone else got any funny tales of horror dates?

 

I had really good date today for a change, will be seeing eachother again

 

A few weeks ago i pulled a girl from work, turned out she's been around half the guys at work and shes a complete psycho. Thankfully she doesn't work at the same place as i do, same boss different location, didn't and don't wanna see that one again. All my best/worse stories are above.

[Foster14]

I got taken to a debating club at Marschial College under false pretences one first date. That funnily enough was the only one with her...

[Henry]

I got taken to a masturbating club at Marschial College under false pretences one first date. That funnily enough was the only one with her...

 

Fucking hell, sounds alright to me!

[StandFree1982]

Bump, anyone else got any funny tales of horror dates?

 

I had really good date today for a change, will be seeing eachother again

 

A few weeks ago i pulled a girl from work, turned out she's been around half the guys at work and shes a complete psycho. Thankfully she doesn't work at the same place as i do, same boss different location, didn't and don't wanna see that one again. All my best/worse stories are above.

I've had a similar situation where I met a bird from online who looked pretty decent in her pictures, only to find out she was twice the weight her pictures made out! I remember we were meant to meet in the priory, I turned up and looked around and saw some fat bint with a gay male friend...I hoped it wasn't going to be her, but low and behold...it was. She immediantly kissed my cheek and grabbed my hand, which i managed to let go and just keep my distance. I don't think we even spoke, I ended up telling her I needed to go meet my mates in liquid (which was true) and she was wanting to come with me (FUCK!!!). We ended up walking to liquid, while she kept trying to hold my fucking hand, and then she realised she didn't have enough money to get into the place! She tried getting money off her mate, but he wasn't going to give her any thankfully! Never been so thankful.

[StandFree1982]

Was out with the bird when we started seeing each other about 5 tears ago. We went to the Wild Boar and got a seat right up the back. I went to the bar to get drinks, there was a large group of lads there (out for a stagger or summin) I got my drinks and asked them to excuse me as I needed to get by, one of them says "nae bother ye four eyed ******" and they all had a bit of a giggle.

 

I walked back to the seats, put down my drink, took off my specs and telt her to "hud eez"

 

I walked up to the dude and blootered him in the face infront of his pals.

She went hame while I stayed out.

No wonder she left, you punched the wrong guy!!

[Henry]

Was out with the bird when we started seeing each other about 5 tears ago. .

 

Sounds like there were tears that night right enough.

[Leightons_Missing_Teeth]

I'd probably have him.

 

That would be an interesting specticale.

 

Anymore stories? lets be 'avin ye.

[minijc]

Was out with the bird when we started seeing each other about 5 tears ago. We went to the Wild Boar and got a seat right up the back. I went to the bar to get drinks, there was a large group of lads there (out for a stagger or summin) I got my drinks and asked them to excuse me as I needed to get by, one of them says "nae bother ye four eyed ******" and they all had a bit of a giggle.

 

I walked back to the seats, put down my drink, took off my specs and telt her to "hud eez"

 

I walked up to the dude and blootered him in the face infront of his pals.

 

She went hame while I stayed out.

Strange, I recall this happening in said pub, I was out with a few mates that night and if I remember correctly, the speccy guy (you) got wiped clean out and the bird went away crying.

[BrianFaePerth]

Back in my courting days, eh was biding in Oslo and was set up on a blind date wi the work colleague of a friend's girlfriend.

 

She'd telt me plenty of good things aboot the burd, and when she wasnae wrong. Norwegian, petite, nice tits and blonde. All the makings of a first class cowp.

 

My chosen ootfit for the occasion included beige chinos. Now, in my defense eh had spent a lot of the previous year in the US, and had lost all sense of fashion. Eh also committed the cardinal mistake of no knocking one out afore the date.

 

We were getting on well, and lets jist say my mind wis thinking about taking this date elsewhere. Eh went up to get more drinks, little realising that a damp stain had developed on the front of my breeks. On the way back she caught sight of this, and asked if eh was ok. Realising the situ, eh had two choices, say eh've pished myself, or admit that a dribble of pre-cum had escaped.

 

In my semi-pissed state, eh reckoned it was a good move to tell her the real reason.

 

 

She wis gone in seconds, saying something about me being a pervert, and her colleague refused tae talk to me again.

[WILCOCK]

I canna remember seeing any fat slobs there

Must of needed thicker lenses on the specs

[WILCOCK]

Back in my courting days, eh was biding in Oslo and was set up on a blind date wi the work colleague of a friend's girlfriend.

 

She'd telt me plenty of good things aboot the burd, and when she wasnae wrong. Norwegian, petite, nice tits and blonde. All the makings of a first class cowp.

 

My chosen ootfit for the occasion included beige chinos. Now, in my defense eh had spent a lot of the previous year in the US, and had lost all sense of fashion. Eh also committed the cardinal mistake of no knocking one out afore the date.

 

We were getting on well, and lets jist say my mind wis thinking about taking this date elsewhere. Eh went up to get more drinks, little realising that a damp stain had developed on the front of my breeks. On the way back she caught sight of this, and asked if eh was ok. Realising the situ, eh had two choices, say eh've pished myself, or admit that a dribble of pre-cum had escaped.

 

In my semi-pissed state, eh reckoned it was a good move to tell her the real reason.

 

 

She wis gone in seconds, saying something about me being a pervert, and her colleague refused tae talk to me again.

Not of just told her you spilt your drink?

[BrianFaePerth]

Not of just told her you spilt your drink?

 

Aye, eh thought of that eftir

[dervish]

Back in my courting days, eh was biding in Oslo and was set up on a blind date wi the work colleague of a friend's girlfriend.

 

She'd telt me plenty of good things aboot the burd, and when she wasnae wrong. Norwegian, petite, nice tits and blonde. All the makings of a first class cowp.

 

My chosen ootfit for the occasion included beige chinos. Now, in my defense eh had spent a lot of the previous year in the US, and had lost all sense of fashion. Eh also committed the cardinal mistake of no knocking one out afore the date.

 

We were getting on well, and lets jist say my mind wis thinking about taking this date elsewhere. Eh went up to get more drinks, little realising that a damp stain had developed on the front of my breeks. On the way back she caught sight of this, and asked if eh was ok. Realising the situ, eh had two choices, say eh've pished myself, or admit that a dribble of pre-cum had escaped.

 

In my semi-pissed state, eh reckoned it was a good move to tell her the real reason.

 

 

She wis gone in seconds, saying something about me being a pervert, and her colleague refused tae talk to me again.

 

Aww no way

[muttondressedaslamb]

Strange, I recall this happening in said pub, I was out with a few mates that night and if I remember correctly, the speccy guy (you) got wiped clean out and the bird went away crying.

 

Why Mini? Why?

 

Back in my courting days, eh was biding in Oslo and was set up on a blind date wi the work colleague of a friend's girlfriend.

 

She'd telt me plenty of good things aboot the burd, and when she wasnae wrong. Norwegian, petite, nice tits and blonde. All the makings of a first class cowp.

 

My chosen ootfit for the occasion included beige chinos. Now, in my defense eh had spent a lot of the previous year in the US, and had lost all sense of fashion. Eh also committed the cardinal mistake of no knocking one out afore the date.

 

We were getting on well, and lets jist say my mind wis thinking about taking this date elsewhere. Eh went up to get more drinks, little realising that a damp stain had developed on the front of my breeks. On the way back she caught sight of this, and asked if eh was ok. Realising the situ, eh had two choices, say eh've pished myself, or admit that a dribble of pre-cum had escaped.

 

In my semi-pissed state, eh reckoned it was a good move to tell her the real reason.

 

 

She wis gone in seconds, saying something about me being a pervert, and her colleague refused tae talk to me again.

 

I take it that brought your chino wearing days to an abrupt end?

[Betty Swallicks]

Worst dates are the ones where you have to listen to the pish being spoken whilst trying nae to yawn or tell her you really interested in talk you just quite fancy her and want a ride.

 

Its a fucking web.

 

Cut to the chase would suit both males and females imo.

[Nespa]

few nightmares

 

On ma first date as a single guy after splitting up with bird/wife of 7 years (married 4) I went out with a bird fae ma work and everything went well and was back at her flat and with ma chap in her hand and for some reason unknown to me I told her i was split up with ma bird and going through a divorce! (i thought id get the old sympathy shag but i was really a few minutes away fae getting ma hole anyway so no idea why i did it)

 

Cue her stopping what she was doing and saying this was all going too fast FOR ME and I'M not ready for all this...... After a few minutes of standing like a Dalek and begging she wasnt having it. She then said I could stay so spent the next hour poking her in the back until I was told to leave! hahaha

 

I learned to keep ma mooth shut!

 

One night i was out steaming (i was about 23) and pulled this wee 19 year old stunner i was told.....I didnt really know until the next day I got a txt asking to go for a date. After talking to ma mates I went on said date the following week. Was really impressed when she arrived and had a decent first hour until I got the txt from a mate (he knew but didnt say) to ask her her age....yip she was 15 (nearly 16). Asked about it and she admitted and then I walked out. She phoned ma house everyday for 3 weeks untill i told her I was moving to Spain

 

Ironically seen her last year and shes brilliant!

[daytripping]

15 isn't that far away from 19.

[tup]

15 isn't that far away from 19.

 

And 12 isna that far away from 15, eh?

 

 

 

 

This is how these predators justify these things in their own minds folks.

[Nespa]

15 isn't that far away from 19.

 

its a pity Judge's don't feel the same!

[s1dnk]

Once got picked up for a first date by a girl drinking a can of cider and necking speed balls while driving, thankfully I survived the trip. She also stopped off at a house in Logie to drop off a package for her brother, didn't have a balls to ask what it was.

 

Also met a girl who was a veterinary nurse, what a boring bastard, all she spoke about was animal! Ended up getting wrecked and being a right prick to her but she still kept texting me afterwards.

 

Both a long time ago now.