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From The "you Couldnt Make It Up Department"

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Hezbollah are considering a deal with the new Rangers owner for a shirt deal. These shirts will contain a hologram of the ghost of Dr Ian Paisley as a nod to the club's roots.


Celtic meanwhile are in talks with the PLO, and the Burmese junta, for shirt sponsorship. Gerry Adams and the real IRA don't have the funding at the moment due to the costs of their guerilla war with the British in Ireland. Coupled with the cost of the defence team for active terrorist John Stokes, Anthony's faither, it was a bridge too far to sponsor their footballing wing. They've taken a directors box.


Both clubs have vowed to continue to actively sponsor terrorism, and glorify 18th century battles in foreign countries, in return.

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