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2 X T In The Park Tickets


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  • 2 weeks later...

Just got emailed a story about a guy that went to TITP with eckies in cellophane lodged up his arse and he STILL got caught.


He arrived with his top of the range camping gear, all excited for the weekend, and the sniffer dog sat down right at his feet. He was PLEADING with the security, but they just took his stuff and sent him back on the bus like "No TITP for you. Bye bye". He was asking all his wee pals friends to come home with him as he headed back onto the bus, ticketless, eckyless, weekend ruined, but they were like "No. You shouldn't have got caught Jacob." Hahahahaha a wee group of nice youngsters all heading to TITP for the weekend, and the one with the floppy hair was like "I'm hiding them up my ASS" (that's right, he said "ass"). The rest of his friends were saying they're just going to hide their pills in their pocket or sock or in their bra and it turns out HE'S the c**t that gets caught. Sniffer dog going up and down the queue, not giving a f**k about the high risk takers, it walks past floppy hair then turns BACK, sniffs around his arse... then sat facing floppy hair. Oh dear. "Have you got any drugs on you?" And wee floppy hair says "Yeah" actually admits it cos he's f**king SHITTING HIMSELF. "Sorry pal but we cannae let you in". Wee guy starts bubbling. "I'll give you them, I'll put them in the bin". Security like that "Not this year, we've been told to not let you in if you give it up or no, sorry pal. You could try selling your ticket." "NOOOOOO. I don't want to sell my ticket, it's a f**king weekend camping ticket, it cost my dad a fortune!" Looks to his pals for help, they shrug, no one speaks, no one knows what to say to the leper.


Can we go home? C'mon guys, let's go to Sleazy's, f**k them!".... some shake their head, some don't even turn around to face him. Best f**king pals the floppy haired boy's got, and they have their back to him, can't face looking at him. His best friends in the world. Floppy hair walks to the bus, but no, no, he can't believe they're not coming, his so called friends.


He turns and says... "I don't know why it's just me that's not getting in". Security's like that: "What?". Friends turn, can't believe their ears. A grass? Floppy hair knows what he's done, backs out. "Nothing, I bet there's tonnes of people you're letting through, that's all". The friends are safe, but they'll never forget what floppy was about to do. He spends the rest of the weekend texting them but NO ONE REPLIES. He watches TITP on the telly, gubs an ecky. Feels good, texts his pals, tries to get in on it, no reply, no reply, no reply, no reply. Heads out to the off-license before it shuts, eckied. A floppy haired boy alone, off to the shop, eckied. GETS KNOCKED BACK. Has to stand outside waiting for an aulder guy to go in for him. He gets a six pack of Tennent's. Goes home, the TITP coverage has ended, tans his booze, not even a dunt off it. Starting to get a comedoon. 5am comedoon and starting to sober up, feels like sh*te, reads Facebook and his mates are under a gazebo doing impressions. Impressions of HIM. Pals have obviously been talking about him all day, laughing, and now they're out of control, they don't gie a f**k WHAT they say. Pals posting things like "under gazeebo at titp campsite with girls we met in slam tent.. life so good... . much better than SLEEZIES lol" Floppy's never felt so low.


Wee Floppy needs to talk to his "mom". Goes to his "mom" and dad's bedroom at 6am, they're spooning, awake, dad with a sweaty forehead. Oh no. Floppy deletes everything, Facebook, Twitter, everything. Goes to sleep. Wakes up regretting it, regretting everything. And it's only f**king Saturday.



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Ooooocha. Nae good like.


He will probably have been able to buy from someone in the festival given how many folk looked to be off their face in the place when I watched it on TV anyways.


Apparently according to a mate this year there was more sniffer dogs than any other year.


Aye don't think it would be too difficult to find stuff in there if you're looking for it, especially in the Slam Tent.

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