Friday

[tup]

Friday, sun is shining, time for some light hearted relief fae a bad week for AFC.

 

i.e. jokes.

 

I'll start the ball rolling.

 

Why did Stevie Wonder learn to play the piano?

 

You canna set a pint on a f**king trumpet.

[Dynamo]

Have Kate and Gerry looked in their cupboards?

 

That's where I usually keep McCanns.

[tup]

Alzheimers protest march:

 

What do we want?

 

f**k KNOWS!!

 

When do we want it?

 

WANT WHAT????

[Scarface]

It's Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday

Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday

Gettin' down on Friday

Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Lookin' forward to the weekend

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday

Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')

We-we-we so excited

We so excited

We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday

And Sunday comes after ... wards

I don't want this weekend to end.

[tup]

What do you get hangin fae banana trees?

[Bebo]

How many people with altzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

To get to the other side.

 

 

Alzheimers protest march:

 

What do we want?

 

f**k KNOWS!!

 

When do we want it?

 

WANT WHAT????

 

"Knock knock."

 

"Who's there?"

 

"Dave."

 

"Dave who?"

 

Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

 

[tup]

What do you get hangin fae banana trees?

 

Sore airms.

[wullfo]

I,ve just been on a once in a life time holiday......never again.

[Frank Butcher]

My mates used to call me 'mr lover lover' as I had quite a good record with the ladies.

Then one night a girl with Downs syndrome asked me to shag her up the arse . . . Now they call me 'Mr Bum Spastic'.....!!!!

[Robbie Winters]

Mick : Hows the holiday going ?

Patrick : Its effin too hot for me, 110 degrees in the shade

Mick : Dont stand in the shade then !

[Nealey]

I used to think I was a werewolf, but I'm alright NOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[InTaeEm]

What do you do if someone has an epileptic fit in the bath tub?

 

 

 

 

 

Throw your dirty clothes in..

[spamspamspam]

:tup: jokes

 

Whats the first symptom of AIDS...A sharp stabbing pain in the rectum.

How do you know if your best mates gay...He gets a hard-on when you f**k him up the arse.

How many homosexuals does it take to putin a light bulb...Only one but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

How do you get a gay man to shag your girlfriend... sh*t in her c**t.

How do you get four homosexuals on a barstool... Turn it upside down.

What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog... Theyre right, we DO taste like chicken

What do you call a Lesbian with large fingers... Well-hung.

What do you call a group of lesbians in a field of dildos... Squatters.

Why are ghosts gay... They put the willies up each other.

What do you call an Irish lesbian... Gaelic.

What do you call an Indian lesbian... Minjeeta.

What is the hardest thing about roller-blading... Telling your parents you are gay.

[NorthernLights24]

Craig Thomson is outside boots and gets asked by a survey person what grooming products he uses, "facebook, twitter and a bag of jelly babies" he replied