Fazzat?

[phoenix]

[amancalledbuck]

Is that your Auntie, feen?

 

If it is, would that be the boy who beefed yer Auntie?

[BrianFaePerth]

Is that your Auntie, feen?

 

If it is, would that be the boy who beefed yer Auntie?

 

Reckon yer right, but 'Nixx has cropped thon pic tae exclude the rest of the shot....

 

She did wonders tae raise the moral of the troops

 

Edit: Oh wait, they're krauts. Ach ye get the idea.

 

[amancalledbuck]

I bet she loved a German sausage.

[phoenix]

Jeeesus!

 

 

 

 

The usual suspects.

 

 

 

And you radges are sooo low brow.

 

 

 

 

It is Belgian Surrealist Ren

[amancalledbuck]

Magritte beefed yer auntie?

 

That's quite a claim to fame.

[tommo1903]

Liverpool?

 

f**k that.

[tup]

She's not the only f**king surreal thing about Liverpool

[amancalledbuck]

I like Liverpool.

 

I've never been but I imagine it's amazing.

[tup]

I like Liverpool.

 

I've never been but I imagine it's amazing.

 

It's just like Glasgow, full of thieves, and junkies and criminals.

 

And of course thesps, in the Fran Healy from Travis mould, little pricks who've disappeared up their own arses because they think they're talented.

 

They're all overrun with emotions. Look at 'You'll Never Walk Alone' as an example. How f**king twee, all singing in unison, like they're the f**king Beatles or something. They make me want to puke.

 

Meantime, amidst all this emotion, turn your back for two seconds and they'll be rifling through your bags, seriously untrustworthy, squeaky voiced, English weegies.

[amancalledbuck]

Sounds ace.

 

Fab.

[360]

They have a building called "Liver Building", however it's pronounced Lie-ver for some reason.

 

Weirdos

[amancalledbuck]

They have a building called "Liver Building", however it's pronounced Lie-ver for some reason.

 

Weirdos

 

I bet they're being witty.

 

Well known for their wit, the scousers.

[tup]

 

Also, heroin and gunrunning are another two favourite pastimes of theirs.

[amancalledbuck]

And skiffle.

 

Some of the best skiffle groups have come from there.

[tup]

And skiffle.

 

Some of the best skiffle groups have come from there.

 

Never heard of it, what's that the spoons or something?

[Henry]

Justice for the 96.

[tup]

'Monopoly on grief' - Boris Johnson.

[diamondsr4ever]

'Monopoly on grief' - Boris Johnson.

 

do not pass go and do not nick

[The Boofon]

2 scouse c**ts at my work, brothers.

 

Complete liars, bear in mind these twats are cut of the Bluto cloth, fat, nae mates, general nobodies.

 

A list of the pish they come out with.

 

He's punched a great white shark in the face.

He has a Vectra(10 years old) that does 220mph.

In a previous motor he was racing a Honda Fireblade(and winning of course) when a rabbit popped up through a hole in his floor and decapitated itself.

During tubulance on a flight he spilled his drink and proceeded to barge into the cockpit and threaten the captain that if he does that again he'll have him, the flight was smooth from then on.

Was a DJ in Ibiza in the early 90's, when i pulled him up saying i was in Ibiza from 91 to 96 and which clubs he played at, he'd forgotten.

 

The list could go on.

 

In fact he turned up at a xmas doo with a black polo neck top and a Mr T style gold rope chain on the outside and a pair of shades.

 

 

Bellend!

 

I don't mind the guys who tell stories so outlandish you know they aren't true.

 

I've worked with a guy who claimed to have been the drummer in Wham and was married to Linda Lusardi.

 

When asked if he got an invite to Madonna's wedding to Guy Ritchie he replied "Me and Andrew don't speak to her because she stole one of the songs we wrote."

 

When asked what song he said with a straight face and 100% genuine "Like a Virgin"

 

Comedy gold.

 

Anyway enough of all this sidetracking.

 

Did the Fazzat in question beef Phoen's auntie?

[amancalledbuck]

Yes.

[360]

bear in mind these twats are cut of the Bluto cloth, fat, nae mates, general nobodies.

 

[tup]

Phil Thompson sums up scousers in a nutshell.

 

Looks dodgy as f**k, ugly b*stard, full of sh*t , and a squeaky f**king voice

[BrianFaePerth]

Eh once worked wi a boy who claimed that he played for West Ham in 1989, appearing as a sub 3 times and scoring a goal against Liverpool afore wrecking his knee.

 

Eh kent fine this was a lie, he wis the most unlikely looking fitba player ye could imagine. He claimed at the time he was in the reserves for Stab

[Dynamo]

Phil Thompson sums up scousers in a nutshell.

 

Looks dodgy as f**k, ugly b*stard, full of sh*t , and a squeaky f**king voice

 

Phil Thompsons nose can be seen from space.

[tup]

Phil Thompsons nose can be seen from space.

 

He does the backstroke in the swimming pool, and all the bairns jump out thinking there's a f**king shark coming.

[Ke1t]

2 scouse c**ts at my work, brothers.

 

Complete liars, bear in mind these twats are cut of the Bluto cloth, fat, nae mates, general nobodies.

 

A list of the pish they come out with.

 

He's punched a great white shark in the face.

He has a Vectra(10 years old) that does 220mph.

In a previous motor he was racing a Honda Fireblade(and winning of course) when a rabbit popped up through a hole in his floor and decapitated itself.

During tubulance on a flight he spilled his drink and proceeded to barge into the cockpit and threaten the captain that if he does that again he'll have him, the flight was smooth from then on.

Was a DJ in Ibiza in the early 90's, when i pulled him up saying i was in Ibiza from 91 to 96 and which clubs he played at, he'd forgotten.

 

The list could go on.

 

In fact he turned up at a xmas doo with a black polo neck top and a Mr T style gold rope chain on the outside and a pair of shades.

 

 

Bellend!

 

Briefly knew a guy like that... was in Russia with him for a while, and his stories were a welcome relief from reality.

 

There was nothing he hadn't done, seen, invented or been a party to. Eventually I started asking him just stupid sh*t to see how he would work it into his alleged life experiences.

 

If forget most of the stuff he came out with, but some of the things he'd been involved with;

 

* When asked if he'd driven a Tank, he had.. but his mate's tank. His mate apparently owned a Tank.

 

* He was a member of Armenia's most popular band. The Armenian version of Lady Gaga I imagine.

 

* Was in Soviet Special Forces (Spetsnaz) and fought Mujahideen in Afghanistan (presumably the band was a front) :ninja:

 

* When I asked him if he'd ever flown in outer space he said he hadn't, but had been part of the Soviet Buran program

 

I will say that for a member of the Soviet Union's elite special forces he was terrified of lifts. I finally persuaded him to get in a lift at the hotel, and as soon as the doors closed I started jumping up and down going, "whoooooooaaaaaaaa!!!!!" That's when his Spetsnaz training kicked in, and he immediately assumed that stance where Spetsnaz will grab onto the handrail with white knuckles and look as though they're going to piss, sh*t and throw up all over themselves.

 

As he staggered out of the lift he groaned, "Idiot! You'll have set off the Earthquake sensors in the elevator."

 

Yah, 'K then Chuck Norris.

[phoenix]

Lissen!

 

I've read all your objections , criticisms and observations about your experiences with Scousers and you are not giving the suckers an even break( I always do ).

 

We cannot trust anybody , in fact Scousers are probably more trustworthy than your average because they make no attempt to disguise their weaknesses and temptations.

 

I love 'em , me.....within reason like and with no desire to have their babies. Although there was one young thing , long blond hair and tight red jeans , who befriended me on Saturday night , who I would have been quite willing to give a good seeing too.....but didnae.

 

The city has undergone a transformation since it was the European City of Culture and is a big centre of tourism for North West England now. I was bouncing at the weekend and I got lucky with the weather.

 

You might be cutting yersels aff fae a good thing by adhering to past prejudice , get down there and reasses , for all the adverse reputation , I never found it to be a rip-off town.

You could stay in the Cavern Quarter all weekend and get as much entertainment as you need but it's a 'walkable city' and most places are within reach.....unlike London.

[terenceandphilip]

This is an interesting thread, particularly like cheesepipes list of lies he got told. 200mph in a vectra and that.

 

On holiday I sunbathed, drank cold drinks and went for walks and went up at karaoke most nights. That to me is a holiday, no cultural crap till October.

[The Boofon]

This is an interesting thread, particularly like cheesepipes list of lies he got told. 200mph in a vectra and that.

 

On holiday I sunbathed, drank cold drinks and went for walks and went up at karaoke most nights. That to me is a holiday, no cultural crap till October.

 

 

What songs did you murder sing?