granite sheep Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Well, I've been going through a pretty rough time of it recently, so tonight I went out for a walk to clear my head. As I'm coming down Union street, I saw a sight so completely insane, that it's instantly cheered me up. Cos I saw the state of this guy, and I couldn't help but think, "Well, no matter how bad things get in my life, at least I'm not the one holding onto a lamppost for dear life, drunk out of my mind, in broad daylight, on the busiest street in Aberdeen, trying to have a pish with my left bollock." Anyone seen anything as bad as that in the toon? Link to comment
ebbe Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 i was out with 2 mates about a month back, quiet sunday night. we're in frankie mcdougals bar havin a laugh, 1 of my mates is paraletic he is sleeping standing up. anyway one of the brutal lesbians who worked behind the bar sees her opportunity and jonah lumus him straight oot the door. (held open by the other heffer dyke) he went heid first into the railings ootside where you cross for union square. most random, out of the blue brutal assault i've ever seen women involved in, he wasn't capable of causing trouble or even doing anything. i think the fact he was rubbered saved his skull fae certain brokeness. as if that wasn't enough the taxi driver whom i've flagged doon on market street to get him up the road, floors it, realising he's steaming when he's half in the motor sending him rolling doon towards the douglas. how he wasn't seriously hurt in either of these incidents i'll never no. he then got up and attempted to pish all over the counter at aberdeens best kebab house, the boy chases him oot fuming and my mates now pishing himself on the pavement on his back we his kecks round his ankles. he told me a few days later he can't drink nips. mintal Link to comment
granite sheep Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 he told me a few days later he can't drink nips. shades o Captain Obvious there, min. Link to comment
Pash Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 i was out with 2 mates about a month back, quiet sunday night. we're in frankie mcdougals bar havin a laugh, 1 of my mates is paraletic he is sleeping standing up. anyway one of the brutal lesbians who worked behind the bar sees her opportunity and jonah lumus him straight oot the door. (held open by the other heffer dyke) he went heid first into the railings ootside where you cross for union square. most random, out of the blue brutal assault i've ever seen women involved in, he wasn't capable of causing trouble or even doing anything. i think the fact he was rubbered saved his skull fae certain brokeness. as if that wasn't enough the taki driver whom i've flagged doon on market street to get him up the road, floors it, realising he's steaming when he's half in the motor sending him rolling doon towards the douglas. how he wasn't seriously hurt in either of these incidents i'll never no. he then got up and attempted to pish all over the counter at aberdeens best kebab house, the boy chases him oot fuming and my mates now pishing himself on the pavement on his back we his kecks round his ankles. he told me a few days later he can't drink nips. mintal Link to comment
ebbe Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 shades o Captain Obvious there, min. i said mate, he was more a mate of the other guy we were out with. really nice guy first time i'd been drinking with him, all of a sudden he's minced, utterly minced. nae boozy warning nothing. just normal then like a light switch, absolutely mortalled. Link to comment
Ke1t Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Worst state I've ever seen someone was on Heidelberg Street in Detroit. It's a scary enough place in its own right, what with it being in Detroit and home of a seriously deranged... artist? The wife, fiance at the time, insisted we go down there... white and unarmed.. to "look at the cool stuff". So we did. Place was seemingly deserted until this black dude who must have been like a local crack and meth repository, came bouncing up to us and started telling us all about the street and how he'd been shot and how he hadn't seen his "keeeeds" in "faaav yeez", and he's like one inch from my face telling me all this sh*t, and he's not wearing a shirt and I reckon he hadn't had a bath ever, and he keeps looking over his shoulder, presumably so he can see if the coast is clear so he can set about raping me, and he's nervous as f**k, which is making me nervous as f**k, and I'm NOT armed but I'm really wishing I was, and things are getting all "up in ma face" and he's getting to within like a half inch of my face telling me that he needs money for a f**king bus or something, and i'm telling him I'm not giving him any money, and the missus to be is wandering around blissfully unaware of what's happening, and she's taking pictures of severed doll's heads that have been nailed to trees, and the crack addict is rummaging around in his pockets... possibly masturbating, possibly looking for something to hit me with, and I'm wondering if the missus to be is a faster runner than I am, and then the dude seems to forget he's there to rob us and takes off down the street like a f**ked up, shirtless meth head, flapping his arms around like he's fighting off invisible bats or something. Yeah, so if you're ever in the Detroit area.. Heidelberg Street's a cool place to visit. Link to comment
dervish Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 ebbe Seen a guy wearing light denim jacket/jeans standing waiting for the #22 for 15/20mins having pished himself at 2pm on a Tuesday at Schoolhill. I was in the line a person down from him couldn't grasp why the old "snooty" cow was so far from him giving him dirty deeks till he walked like he had a fake leg on the bus and I noticed the dark patches down both inside legs.... gads. Also was walking into town at say 8am on a week day when I saw this bloke spewing in a garden (obviously not his) and he turns round and goes "sorry min nae normally like this, it's affa embarrassing" (perfectly reasonably...) then spews some more. Was just the look on his face that said "I've let myself down on this one, look at the state of me bughhhhh". Link to comment
bonzodaddy73 Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 I was coming home from town in Inverness one night, when I got to the roundabout at the bottom of the hill where I was living at the time. So I'm just about to cross the road and this car goes f**king flying full pelt through the roundabout sign and ends up in amongst the trees and bushes in the middle of the thing. I stood there in shock for a few seconds thinking " there dead" coz they were fair travelling!Then I said to myself I better go and see if there alive. So I wandered over and when I got within about 20 feet of the car, the door opened and this guy got out completely naked apart from one white sock! If that wasn't weird enough this other guy comes out behind him in a boiler suit and a green wig. They both looked at me,started laughing like f**k then legged it up the hill where I was heading.The strangest thing I've ever seen. Link to comment
fine-n-dandy Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 I was coming home from town in Inverness one night, when I got to the roundabout at the bottom of the hill where I was living at the time. So I'm just about to cross the road and this car goes f**king flying full pelt through the roundabout sign and ends up in amongst the trees and bushes in the middle of the thing. I stood there in shock for a few seconds thinking " there dead" coz they were fair travelling!Then I said to myself I better go and see if there alive. So I wandered over and when I got within about 20 feet of the car, the door opened and this guy got out completely naked apart from one white sock! If that wasn't weird enough this other guy comes out behind him in a boiler suit and a green wig. They both looked at me,started laughing like f**k then legged it up the hill where I was heading.The strangest thing I've ever seen. Did you follow them then, or hang about kicking stones for a while? Link to comment
zander Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Me and my mate were getting the train about 2 weeks ago we were in subways in union square just as we were leaving noticed security legging it to the toilets, me and my mate went round to the cash point to see security following a man with a cow boy hat out the building we noticed a trail of brown marks following the c**t turned out he'd actually been shitting himself whilst moving, a mad thing indeed. Link to comment
bonzodaddy73 Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Did you follow them then, or hang about kicking stones for a while? I thought I would spark up a ciggie and give them time to disappear.The car lay in that roundabout for three days. How the Hell they never at least suffered serious injury I'll never know. They totally wrecked that motor. Link to comment
HughMungus Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Tesco's in the Broch ages ago, some old boy didn't even have the deceny to sh*t himself, it was a full on dra'rs doon and he took a dump in the middle of the aisle. That's the Broch for ye... (bid there for 11 years Ackyilly) ;o) Link to comment
daytripping Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Once saw a bloke getting glassed in the station bar, not a pretty sight, the glass smashed as it made contact. He was a hun though so it wasn't all bad! Was the day rangers played keith at pittodrie in the cup. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Once saw a bloke getting glassed in the station bar, not a pretty sight, the glass smashed as it made contact. He was a hun though so it wasn't all bad! Was the day rangers played keith at pittodrie in the cup. ouch. who did the glassing? i always wonder what happens after something like that? does the attacker just carry on boozing? what do other punters do? who helps the glassed bloke? Link to comment
Henry Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Are you going out for a few tonight Bluto? Why not glass someone and find out? I'm considering a jar tonight, it's nearly the weekend after all. Link to comment
Nespa Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 last summer i was in a boozer in Glasgow (its a toon) and a guy walked by me and slashed the guy sitting next to me (who i didnt know) from ear to mouth and ran out! he opened up like a kipperI i fecking sh@t maself. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Are you going out for a few tonight Bluto? Why not glass someone and find out? I'm considering a jar tonight, it's nearly the weekend after all. ha ha. nah, would be a waste of good beer. besides would most likely get barred from said battle crusier.i like to keep my watering hole options open. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Are you going out for a few tonight Bluto? I'm considering a jar tonight, it's nearly the weekend after all. we're long into the weekend already harcus.my weekends start on tuesday or wednesday. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Well worked at Joy and Drum for a few years so mad things were common place every weekend. A few off the top of my head. Was doing the patrol of the bogs and found some mangled c**t shitting into the bucket looking for the bog roll. Mangled c**t trying to ride a pillar, snogging into it and sporting a proud erection. Mangled c**t and Cuntess on the sofas, cuntess's skirt hitched up and panties pulled down while mangled c**t frigged away like he was in the privacy of his own bedroom not a packed nightclub. Similar couple of c**ts riding on the dancefloor. sounds a bit blue oyster esque cheeseman. Link to comment
essexdon Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 saw a couple of old age pensioners with placard about pensions walking butt naked over waterloo bridge in london last year, it wasnt a pleasant experience Link to comment
daytripping Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 ouch. who did the glassing? i always wonder what happens after something like that? does the attacker just carry on boozing? what do other punters do? who helps the glassed bloke? The chap who did the glassing was well known within a certain element of the dons support, sadly he is no longer with us. Most of the other punters quickly downed their drinks and made an exit. Not sure who helped the glassed bloke, I was out the door sharpish. It must have been the days before safety glass as it made a proper mess, poor chap. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 The chap who did the glassing was well known within a certain element of the dons support, sadly he is no longer with us. Most of the other punters quickly downed their drinks and made an exit. Not sure who helped the glassed bloke, I was out the door sharpish. It must have been the days before safety glass as it made a proper mess, poor chap. a hoolie, you mean? doesnae sound like a nice person to me. Link to comment
daytripping Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 He was salt of the earth, a really fine chap, he just got carried away on occasion. Link to comment
AberdeenHammersUnited Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 these have brightened up my day!! I saw this video a few months ago, made me laugh. http://www.asylum.co.uk/2011/06/09/video-savoy-hotel-awards-drunk-takes-a-serious-tumble-on-cctv/ Obviously I didn't witness it and it wasn't in Aberdeen. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 He was salt of the earth, a really fine chap, he just got carried away on occasion. ha ha ha. speaking of glassings.i think the one in trainspotting at teh end in london is particularly realistic. credit to the ditrector to me it seems really well shot, and still i cringe when i know its coming. Link to comment
Scarface Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 i always wonder what happens after something like that? does the attacker just carry on boozing? what do other punters do? who helps the glassed bloke? Saw a punter get glassed in The Snuggery just the other week on a Sunday night. No idea what was said/done as provocation. The perpatrator legged out of the joint pronto. Most folk just carried on boozing like normal (at least until the rozzers showed up). The victim's coupon was literally gushing with blood as my pal gave him first aid in the bog until the paramedics arrived. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 Saw a punter get glassed in The Snuggery just the other week on a Sunday night. No idea what was said/done as provocation. The perpatrator legged out of the joint pronto. Most folk just carried on boozing like normal (at least until the rozzers showed up). The victim's coupon was literally gushing with blood as my pal gave him first aid in the bog until the paramedics arrived. f**k me. mental. good of your mate to help out - cant have been much funhow was the other bloke acting, mustve been in agony. where the snuggery? Link to comment
daytripping Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 Isn't the snuggery the old st andrews bar on market street? Link to comment
BillyStarkDivinHeeder Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 Isn't the snuggery the old st andrews bar on market street? It's a few doors up from that, next door to Wilsons. Link to comment
granite sheep Posted July 29, 2011 Author Share Posted July 29, 2011 Classy places, them on Market St. Aye folk gettin banjoed ootside there. Boy I ken got his heid pinged off a bollard outside there a while back, 30 stitches to the back o his napper Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now