Jump to content

Tourist Mauled By Polar Bear


Recommended Posts


Morrissey (in predictable controversial anally retentive veggie fashion):

 

'Good on the polar bear. This will teach man to meddle in wild areas, all the bear was doing was marking it's territory'

 

Me:

 

'Camping :gay:'

 

Morrissey:

 

'They were gay, you say? Why this is an outrage. I hope the polar bear is hunted down, shot, and made into a leather gimp suit'

Link to comment

Do you not know your British historical admirals ?

 

He-ray-shee-oo Nelson.

 

I certainly do, but the fact I'm talking about this on a 21st Century internets, and not on the deck of the 18th Century frigate, the HMS Albemarle, as French musketballs whizz dangerously past our heads and cannonade explodes all around.... think it's somewhat safe to use the expression... What the f**k kind of a name is Horatio?

 

I reckon his parents were trying way to hard to be posh sods.

Link to comment

and then Peter the polar bear lifted his soft white fluffy paw and brought it down with such brute force that Horatio's face was ripped clean off. The rangers then turned up an hour later and put a bullet straight through Peters head.

 

The End.

 

Night Night kids, love you, sleep tight.

 

Click

 

 

I'MA GO EAT THAT f**kER NAO!

0511-0812-0802-1128_Goofy_Cartoon_Polar_Bear_clipart_image.jpg

Link to comment

I certainly do, but the fact I'm talking about this on a 21st Century internets, and not on the deck of the 18th Century frigate, the HMS Albemarle, as French musketballs whizz dangerously past our heads and cannonade explodes all around.... think it's somewhat safe to use the expression... What the f**k kind of a name is Horatio?

 

I reckon his parents were trying way to hard to be posh sods.

 

Enrolling him into the British Schools Exploring Society should have tipped it I reckon.

 

Even the bear thought I've had enough of this Horatio pish.

 

Grrrrr

 

"Patrick Flinders, 16, of Jersey, suffered severe head and arm injuries after the bear attacked him seconds after it came marauding through the front of the tent and killed the boy lying next to him.

 

His dad Terry Flinders, speaking to Jersey

Link to comment

I'm going to hazard a guess, Terry, that the reason the Polar Bear did that was because it was a f**king Polar Bear.

 

That's what Polar Bears do... they tear sh*t to pieces and eat the f**k out of them... doesn't matter to the Polar Bear if the thing it's eating is going, "I say! I say! You there, Polar Bear! My father's the MP for Bucks and Wilts!"

 

 

 

 

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

Simple but brilliantly put.

 

 

They are sending the bear to get forensically examined as well.

 

What for? Are they unsure of the murder weapon the bear used.

 

Have they found a big f**k off gun with paw prints on it and they want to make sure they've got the right bear?

 

Would a bear be cunning enough to use a semi automatic weapon so as to try and deflect attention from it's real murder weapon of big f**king teeth and claws?

 

 

Oh and one last thing. Horatio went to Eton and ended up being Eton. :laughing:

 

Justice for all.

Link to comment

Are you circumcised Big Man? Bear hairs up your foreskin would be awfully irritable, no? And up your crack as well? :dontknow:

 

Indeed i am not, thanks for asking. Iv'e got a shaving brush made from bear hair, its smooth and comfy as fu*ck...

 

f**king hell I wonder how much a trip like that would cost his parents??? I got as far as Germany with the school.

 

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...