What's Your Earliest Childhood Memory?

[The Boofon]

It's at nursery school for me. Aged 4. I remember painting in the room with a guy who I went to primary school with.

For some reason it sticks in my mind that we both got into trouble for something someone else did and we were taken off painting lessons.

 

Nae sure why but that's the one that always sticks in my mind as the first thing I think I ever remembered.

 

Remember plenty from Primary 1 onwards but that's the only thing I seem to remember from earlier than primary 1.

 

I always wind up my missus as she's always claiming about remembering things wen she was 2 or 3 which I find quite preposterous to be perfectly honest.

 

What's your earliest memory?

 

Phoenix try and think a bit further back than the sinking of the Titanic.

[Dandyesque]

A bright light and a sharp pain.

[dazzy_deff]

Finding it hilarious that my mates dad at nursery had to duck inside the building cos his head touched the roof if he didnt.

[The Boofon]

 

 

Now i can't remember why i walked from the kitchen to the living room, i sometime have to trace my steps back until i jog my memory, i blame ectos.

 

I'm murder for that as well. I'll go to the shop for one thing and when I get there I'll nae ken what it is I'm there for and will go back home empty handed to ask the missus what I was supposed to get.

 

The ectos haven't helped that much is sure.

[The Boofon]

My missus kens i'm sh*te at shopping so will take ages writing out a list in the order you go round the shop.

 

30 mins later.

 

Ring ring.

 

"Hello my darling! I've forgotten the shopping list"

 

 

Folk would think you're joking when you say that. I don't as I've done the same thing.

[Ke1t]

I'm murder for that as well. I'll go to the shop for one thing and when I get there I'll nae ken what it is I'm there for and will go back home empty handed to ask the missus what I was supposed to get.

 

The ectos haven't helped that much is sure.

 

My short term memory is f**ked beyond belief. I can start a conversation and, by the end, have forgotten what the conversation was about.

 

Is that the Eccies? Because I did take a fair amount... so if that's a side effect I might have a case for legal action against my dealer.

 

 

My earliest memory was being handed a ice cream by my old dear at the beach, while I was sitting in my buggy... so could be about 2... could be about 15.

 

I also remember in Primary school, circa 4 years old, turning round and Martin Reid was about 2 inches behind me running like a gleik, with wild eyes and his tongue hanging out.

 

Martin Reid was a bit of a spastic if I remember correctly.

[OddJob]

I'm pretty sure i remember my 3rd birthday actually. I've seen photos of that in the last few years and remembered a particular one being taken, yet i too suffer from short-term memory loss and i can safely say it's not from taking eccies either

[Dynamo]

No idea.

[RUL]

Is a strange one, memory, I sometimes can't remember the names of people who I have worked with for years. Earliest childhood memory is vaguley a memory of being in a kitchen having breakfast, 4 ish.

[RAZOR]

Remember my first day at school, my Dad walked me down to Glashie with my blazer on. The last day I ever wore a blazer.

[spamspamspam]

My short term memory is f**ked beyond belief. I can start a conversation and, by the end, have forgotten what the conversation was about.

 

Is that the Eccies? Because I did take a fair amount... so if that's a side effect I might have a case for legal action against my dealer.

 

 

My earliest memory was being handed a ice cream by my old dear at the beach, while I was sitting in my buggy... so could be about 2... could be about 15.

 

I also remember in Primary school, circa 4 years old, turning round and Martin Reid was about 2 inches behind me running like a gleik, with wild eyes and his tongue hanging out.

 

Martin Reid was a bit of a spastic if I remember correctly.

 

Probably has something to do with it.

 

That medical card of yours wont be helping either. You do have a card? If not, why not

[tup]

A bright light and a sharp pain.

 

Being born is a b*stard!

 

You're sitting there, feet up, surrounded by plasma, placenta happily attached to your belly, then, all of a sudden, whoooooosh, the plasma disappears, you hear a heap of screaming, some fools got his hand in about your face, tugging away, and, should you manage to fend him off, out he comes with a massive Stanley knife and he gets you fae another angle when you're looking straight down the tube his hand came up two seconds ago.

 

You come out, some bitch with fag coloured hair slaps you in the coupon, grabs your f**king cheek, and gives it all the coochie coo pish. Then you get slammed in a glorified f**king hamster cage as your mither takes all the credits, you're sitting there burning, thinking you couldna mark thon bitches neck with a blowtorch, what about my feelings, nobody seems to give a f**k about you afterwards, a theme you'd be well advised to get used to.

 

Little wonder you come out the hole screaming blue murder, I challenge any foetus to stay calm under those conditions, impossible.

 

Then they cut the placenta, b*stards, it's like your whole life till that point, and some f**kers even have the temerity to slam it in the frying pan and eat it, as if to say, I'm kicking you when you're down you little shitbag.

 

Then you get a not particularly great looking pap stuck in your mouth should you attempt to use your only weapon at this stage, screaming blue murder through the maternity ward.

 

It's no fun being a bairn, and I have vivid memories of birth.

 

So I reckon I was happiest at -3 months of age, after that, hacked off to say the very f**king least.

[Dandyesque]

Being born is a b*stard!

 

You're sitting there, feet up, surrounded by plasma, placenta happily attached to your belly, then, all of a sudden, whoooooosh, the plasma disappears, you hear a heap of screaming, some fools got his hand in about your face, tugging away, and, should you manage to fend him off, out he comes with a massive Stanley knife and he gets you fae another angle when you're looking straight down the tube his hand came up two seconds ago.

 

You come out, some bitch with fag coloured hair slaps you in the coupon, grabs your f**king cheek, and gives it all the coochie coo pish. Then you get slammed in a glorified f**king hamster cage as your mither takes all the credits, you're sitting there burning, thinking you couldna mark thon bitches neck with a blowtorch, what about my feelings, nobody seems to give a f**k about you afterwards, a theme you'd be well advised to get used to.

 

Little wonder you come out the hole screaming blue murder, I challenge any foetus to stay calm under those conditions, impossible.

 

Then they cut the placenta, b*stards, it's like your whole life till that point, and some f**kers even have the temerity to slam it in the frying pan and eat it, as if to say, I'm kicking you when you're down you little shitbag.

 

Then you get a not particularly great looking pap stuck in your mouth should you attempt to use your only weapon at this stage, screaming blue murder through the maternity ward.

 

It's no fun being a bairn, and I have vivid memories of birth.

 

So I reckon I was happiest at -3 months of age, after that, hacked off to say the very f**king least.

 

I feel your pain and share it.

[StandFree1982]

One of my first memories was getting into trouble at nursery as well, strangely enough! No idea what for. All I remember is being made to sit away from the rest of the class! I was a c**t even then!

 

I also remember going outside for breaks at nursery and getting milk!

[Dandyesque]

One of my first memories was getting into trouble at nursery as well, strangely enough! No idea what for. All I remember is being made to sit away from the rest of the class! I was a c**t even then!

 

I also remember going outside for breaks at nursery and getting milk!

 

I can remember being in a push chair but no idea how old I was.

 

I have several very vivid memories from 3-4yrs then nothing more for a few years.

 

I can remember odd things - I remember The Jam doing Going Underground on the telly and Roxanne being in the charts - This is 1978 we're talking about and I was born in 1975.

 

Weird.

[Mushy AFC]

i remember sitting in a line of chairs waiting to be picked up by my mum when i was at nursery.there was a black kid sat next to me who was apparently my friend cos i mind my mum tellin me his name not that long ago but im fecked if i can remember it(ectos/acid/whizz/weed)

[Dandyesque]

i remember sitting in a line of chairs waiting to be picked up by my mum when i was at nursery.there was a black kid sat next to me who was apparently my friend cos i mind my mum tellin me his name not that long ago but im fecked if i can remember it(ectos/acid/whizz/weed)

 

See, I took the same things over the years and it's only the times I was out of it I can't remember.

 

And yesterday- I can't remember yesterday.

 

Until it's the day before yesterday - then I remember it fine.

[StandFree1982]

Just reminded me of one of my best friends when I lived in altens. I moved when I was 6 so I have quite a few memories of <6 which is surprising! One of them was this kid, no idea what his name was at the moment....Christopher! That's the loon! He was at my house and went to use the toilets. He came out with his trousers still down and asked my mum to " help pull mi breeks up".

 

Also remember my sister getting her knee stuck in the front gate and having to call the fire brigade

[BrianFaePerth]

First day of school for me.

 

Eh was 4, we had jist moved in to the area and eh didnae ken a soul, so eh sat wi meh piece on the curb at the edge of the playground.

 

Considering eh have no recollection of anything before that or for about a year after that, strange how that is so vivid.

[tommo1903]

I definitely mind a couple of days in Nursey, mind a chick getting born in one of they funny machines. f**k knows what they're called, or if they are even allowed. Nae sure if they were my first days.

 

One of my first football memories is watching the Dons win the League Cup.....little did I know it would be the last time

[phoenix]

Pre-school memories of sitting in my red metal steam engine( toy ). I had stuffed cotton wool down the funnel and set it alight to get that steam effect( got a row for playing with matches ) and was chug - chug - chugging around oor garden.

 

Before this.....now that I think on't.....I got stung by a bee in the same garden.

 

 

I have pre-natal memories of 'angels' , ladders and being 'beamed down'.....probably images generated on my coming doon the birth canal.

[Ando]

The earliest memory I can definitely put a date to was on 11th October 1982, the day they raised the Mary Rose. Can clearly remember standing beside the mantelpiece in the living room watching the tv as the big yellow frame thing surrounding the ship rose out of the water. Not sure if that's my first memory or not, but given I was 4 at the time it's gotta be one of 'em.

[BrianFaePerth]

Pre-school memories of sitting in my red metal steam engine( toy ). I had stuffed cotton wool down the funnel and set it alight to get that steam effect( got a row for playing with matches ) and was chug - chug - chugging around oor garden.

 

[Bluto10]

the faint tingle of arousal at the phillip schofield in the bbc broom cupboard

[redzrool]

my first memory is sitting on the edge o the fireplace wi a coal fire roaring at my back, watching rupert the bear in colour for the very first time,

must have been 3 or 4, strange how weird things stick in your mind,

like most on here, i have a lousy short term memory, but ask me a few days later and i can repeat a conversation word for word,

i blame tennents and smirnoff.

[Robbie Winters]

Early memories of being at my great gunnies in Garthdee where if I remember right about 20 folk stayed in 1 house. Great Grandad had his bed right in the middle of the living room and she had the best coal fire for burning stuff. Also one of those good old fashioned lavvies with the cistern high up and a proper lavvie chain to yank

[phoenix]

Nae proven yet but we are supposed to retain memories from before we were born.

 

Onybody remember their Dad's big purple bell-end pressing against the wall of the womb ?

 

 

[tup]

Onybody remember their Dad's big purple bell-end pressing against the wall of the womb ?

 

No, because I was in it, or down the tube connected to it, preparing to eject, obviously, and f**king swim for my life against a rake of other c**ts in the same position, I won, obviously.

[The Boofon]

Nae proven yet but we are supposed to retain memories from before we were born.

 

Onybody remember their Dad's big purple bell-end pressing against the wall of the womb ?

 

No but I'm sure plenty Celtic fans remember it being pressed against their anus.

[phoenix]

No, because I was in it, or down the tube connected to it, preparing to eject, obviously, and f**king swim for my life against a rake of other c**ts in the same position, I won, obviously.

 

 

Aye ye're one in 500,000,000 tup.

 

 

 

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