The Innocent Mind Of The American

[Ke1t]

The wife being your typical American sees the world in one of two ways.

 

1. Stuff that is American

 

2. Stuff that isn't American

 

Tried engaging her in a conversation regarding Libya... "Looks like Gaddafi's tatties." I said to her.

 

"I don't know what that means." She says. "I'm going to get something to eat." and she continues towards the kitchen. Not good enough for me, so I intercept her in the living room.

 

"Tatties. Gaddafi's up the creek. The rebels are in Tripoli." I say, planting myself in front of the kitchen door.

 

"I don't know what that means." She says.

 

"You know there's a civil war to overthrow Gaddafi, right."

 

"Is that Cuba?"

 

No, it's Libya."

 

"Oh," she says, feigning interest. "Are the rebels against Gaddafi."

 

"Aye." I says, "That's why we call them rebels."

 

"And they're good?" She enquires.

 

"I don't know. They could be just as bad as Gaddafi."

 

"But Gaddafi's bad, right?" She says, furrowing her little brow in thought... and you can see the thought processes kicking in... 'Gaddafi's bad, ergo the guys overthrowing him must be not bad... "

 

"Some people say Gaddafi's bad, yes."

 

"So then... " she starts....

 

"It doesn't matter." I tell her. "Get me a beer oot the fridge while you're in there, eh, darlin'?"

 

And so ended Kelt's latest attempt to engage an American in a conversation regarding 'Stuff that isn't American'.

 

To be fair, her old man, about as American as you can get, will often initiate conversations with me about 'Stuff that isn't American', but that's usually an ill-informed tirade about Hindus searching him at an American airport, or how America bails Europe out all the time, or how much 'Stuff that isn't American' sucks in comparison to 'Stuff that is American'. He'll be in Britain shortly, and I swear on my only son that he asked me in all seriousness if the hotel he's staying at is likely to have an en-suite bathroom, because he'll "be damned if I'm sharing a bathroom with a whole bunch of strangers."

 

Still, I've got a beer.

 

[The Oxford Don]

They're in for a rude awakening when the Chinese usurp their global economic pre-eminence. And it's going to happen a lot quicker than people think. They might need to start looking at maps then.

[Big Man]

They're in for a rude awakening when the Chinese usurp their global economic pre-eminence. And it's going to happen a lot quicker than people think. They might need to start looking at maps then.

 

I wouldn't be so sure Oxford Don - there is no such thing as perpetual growth.

 

China are storing up massive trouble for themselves in the future, with these massive pre-fabricated cities they are building, complete with museums and sports stadiums and nae c@nt to live in them. Reminds me of Dubai.

 

When their first reccession hits im predicting its going to be deep and hard. Like japan in the early nineties but massive. They need us now more than we need them.

 

America will lead the way for the next 50 year at least me thinks.

 

Edit: Not to mention their internal political dissent which is ripe for exploitation by the good old CIA.

[Jonty]

They're in for a rude awakening when the Chinese usurp their global economic pre-eminence. And it's going to happen a lot quicker than people think.They might need to start looking at maps then.

 

Not sure i agree.The Chinese need the Americans to keep buying their goods as much as the Americans need the Chinese to keep making them. Eventually China's vastly under inflated currency will have to revalue to a more realistic level, at which point will be interesting to see how a people with no democratic voice react to the mass unemployment etc that will result. It won't be pretty that's for sure.

[Bobby Connor]

Bless 'em. Mate of mine is married to a very attractive one and just got his visa to get back over to California.

 

Thing that always sticks in my mind was her reaction to my mates kids when she was staying over here...

 

That's so cute! Every kid should have an accent!

 

Aye, 'cos yous don't have accents, just everyone else does!

 

Still, lovely lassie, but unbelievable.

[Ke1t]

Bless 'em. Mate of mine is married to a very attractive one and just got his visa to get back over to California.

 

Thing that always sticks in my mind was her reaction to my mates kids when she was staying over here...

 

 

 

Aye, 'cos yous don't have accents, just everyone else does!

 

Still, lovely lassie, but unbelievable.

 

Deary me... that's incredulous.

[Bobby Connor]

Not sure i agree.The Chinese need the Americans to keep buying their goods as much as the Americans need the Chinese to keep making them. Eventually China's vastly under inflated currency will have to revalue to a more realistic level, at which point will be interesting to see how a people with no democratic voice react to the mass unemployment etc that will result. It won't be pretty that's for sure.

 

Not so sure. Chinese are gradually getting paid more, America owes them to the hilt. Stuff getting dearer and playing field levelling. It's not good.

[Bobby Connor]

Deary me... that's incredulous.

 

I sure was!

 

[The Oxford Don]

I actually agree with the two comments above. The Chinese will eventually have to let the renminbi appreciate, at which point we will indeed find out how they cope with a totally different type of economy. And of course their growth rates at the moment are more alarming than they are impressive, very redolent of an economy over-heating. I still think the US has problems of its own which run far deeper.

[Big Man]

I actually agree with the two comments above. The Chinese will eventually have to let the renminbi appreciate, at which point we will indeed find out how they cope with a totally different type of economy. And of course their growth rates at the moment are more alarming than they are impressive, very redolent of an economy over-heating. I still think the US has problems of its own which run far deeper.

 

 

You reminded me of that old chewing the fat sketch:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoCkkLjnzEs

 

I agree. The conduct of the chinese government over the past two years has demonstrated to me that they have learned absolutely nothing from the pitfalls of western capitalism - you can't grow that rapidly and maintain that kind of economic stability indefinately. The highs may be high, but the lows are going to be very f**kin low. That is a country built on rice hut foundations.

 

Besides, China are never going to rule the world like America have - for the simple reason that they cant make TV show for sh*t...

[madjockmcferson]

I'm lucky my American wife is a university professor, specialising in Europe, especially in European immigration. Her dad though can come out with some crap.....mostly about Obama being a socialist. That is what gets me the most over here; its people misusing political terms because they are incredibly ill-informed.

 

Even CNN is bad...nowhere near the quality of the BBC.

[Ke1t]

I'm lucky my American wife is a university professor, specialising in Europe, especially in European immigration. Her dad though can come out with some crap.....mostly about Obama being a socialist. That is what gets me the most over here; its people misusing political terms because they are incredibly ill-informed.

 

Even CNN is bad...nowhere near the quality of the BBC.

 

My wife, bless her, isn't stupid... in fact she's probably got a fair few IQ points on Mr Kelt... currently she's contracted to the US military, helping them devise new and ingenious ways of killing 'terrorists'. She spends mair time at the Pentagon than I spend pished on Jack Daniels. She worked for Lockheed on some missile program or other (which I suppose makes her a rocket scientist), meets foreign government officials and even lets me come along to functions and the like... I'm like her little dancing monkey... she takes me along and goes, "Watch what my monkey can do." And I'll go, "How about that Gaddafi thing, eh? Terrible." And all the Americans will get uncomfortable because we're not supposed to mention Cuba.

 

Not really their fault... they just don't teach Americans anything outside their own little American bubble. Geographic limits just happen to, coincidentally, fall exactly along America's borders. Result being that even educated and smart Americans think you still have to sh*t in a hole in the ground in European Hotels.

 

Like most foreigners in America I was asked the inevitable "What do you think about Americans", and stupidly I said, "Ignorant and insular."... which sounds insulting, but was just being truthful. They know nothing about the world outside, and there's an almost universal lack of curiosity. So, to Americans, Arabs all dress like Mustafa Million, Scots all wear kilts, and French women are all hairy and stink of garlic.

 

You feel like the f**king Oracle when Americans ask you, "Tell us abouts thu mystical Australians. Is it true they all walk upside down? I wouldn't have thought it would physically possible to walk upside down." And you say, "Well, I've never been to Australia, however I have been known to open a f**king book from time to time, and no, they don't walk upside down."

 

And they'll all gasp and get wide-eyed when you tell them that even Scotland has electricity, crushing their notion that Scotland isn't in a permanent Medieval limbo, where everyone goes around with a claymore shouting, "FREEDOOOOOM!", and gathering peat to cook the evening meal of sheep's stomach and intestines.

[HughMungus]

My wife, bless her, isn't stupid... in fact she's probably got a fair few IQ points on Mr Kelt... currently she's contracted to the US military, helping them devise new and ingenious ways of killing 'terrorists'. She spends mair time at the Pentagon than I spend pished on Jack Daniels. She worked for Lockheed on some missile program or other (which I suppose makes her a rocket scientist), meets foreign government officials and even lets me come along to functions and the like... I'm like her little dancing monkey... she takes me along and goes, "Watch what my monkey can do." And I'll go, "How about that Gaddafi thing, eh? Terrible." And all the Americans will get uncomfortable because we're not supposed to mention Cuba.

 

Not really their fault... they just don't teach Americans anything outside their own little American bubble. Geographic limits just happen to, coincidentally, fall exactly along America's borders. Result being that even educated and smart Americans think you still have to sh*t in a hole in the ground in European Hotels.

 

Like most foreigners in America I was asked the inevitable "What do you think about Americans", and stupidly I said, "Ignorant and insular."... which sounds insulting, but was just being truthful. They know nothing about the world outside, and there's an almost universal lack of curiosity. So, to Americans, Arabs all dress like Mustafa Million, Scots all wear kilts, and French women are all hairy and stink of garlic.

 

You feel like the f**king Oracle when Americans ask you, "Tell us abouts thu mystical Australians. Is it true they all walk upside down? I wouldn't have thought it would physically possible to walk upside down." And you say, "Well, I've never been to Australia, however I have been known to open a f**king book from time to time, and no, they don't walk upside down."

 

And they'll all gasp and get wide-eyed when you tell them that even Scotland has electricity, crushing their notion that Scotland isn't in a permanent Medieval limbo, where everyone goes around with a claymore shouting, "FREEDOOOOOM!", and gathering peat to cook the evening meal of sheep's stomach and intestines.

[HughMungus]

I did actually say something there..but it got lost...and must now be filed under "black bin liner"...shame cos I'm convinced it wis brilliant...but I've not the tenacity nor memory to procure it so you can all phukk off instead...phukkin eeejits

[Ke1t]

I did actually say something there..but it got lost...and must now be filed under "black bin liner"...shame cos I'm convinced it wis brilliant...but I've not the tenacity nor memory to procure it so you can all phukk off instead...phukkin eeejits

 

A+++++ comment. Prompt reply. Would read again.

 

[phoenix]

I remember at the commencement of the oil boom when we started importing citizens from Duncan , Oklahoma and district( Halliburton Head Office ) , the new arrivals asked if the road from the airport to the town centre had been built yet.

 

This , of course , implied that f**k all happened in Aberdeen before the oil.

[Bluto10]

isnt it the case that only a few american have passports?

 

i can see why they are so insular. they've been the biggest and most important nation on earth for 100 years or so.

 

and the physical size of the place is unbelievable. you wouldnt need to leave the country as there is so much to see and do in most states, never mind the entire country.

[vanderark14]

isnt it the case that only a few american have passports?

 

i can see why they are so insular. they've been the biggest and most important nation on earth for 100 years or so.

 

and the physical size of the place is unbelievable. you wouldnt need to leave the country as there is so much to see and do in most states, never mind the entire country.

 

spoken like a true american

[Bluto10]

spoken like a true american

 

eh?

 

what bit about ''i can see why they are so insular'' don't you understand?

[vanderark14]

eh?

 

what bit about ''i can see why they are so insular'' don't you understand?

 

lighten up min. I was taking the piss

[phoenix]

isnt it the case that only a few american have passports?

 

i can see why they are so insular. they've been the biggest and most important nation on earth for 100 years or so.

 

and the physical size of the place is unbelievable. you wouldnt need to leave the country as there is so much to see and do in most states, never mind the entire country.

 

 

Aye Bluto...they say travel broadens the mind. It ain't necessarily so. Virtual reality broadens the mind also...in a different direction like.

 

It might be advisable to get to know our own land thoroughly before going off to look at the natives in others. And it would be marvellous for the carbon footprint.

 

In the old days we used religion and the Crusades to invade the countries of others. Today it's tourism.

 

Another interesting fact about American civilisation is the speed at which it has grown. Civilisations in the past have taken thousands of years but America has grown in just several hundred and may decline just as quickly. One thing obvious from a brief look at the history book is that civilisations don't last forever. In spite of all the danger.....we have much to be grateful to Uncle Sam for.

 

I would like to travel in the States( on my own preferably or mebbe wi' someone compatible) but it's unlikely to happen. Ye'd need aboot sivin years to do it a modicum of justice...so reading about it and looking it up online is the next best thing.

 

Kerouac does an impressive job of painting the picture in words ; he , like the other Beats , loved America but hated the prospect of the burgeoning Military Industrial Complex.

 

Kerouac narrates a wee bit here( be patient , he gets to it ):

 

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlEtx30WKTA

[Bluto10]

lighten up min. I was taking the piss

 

ha ha.

 

i missed that on!

[Bluto10]

i find a lot of americans to be nice people.

in an emotional intelligance kindof way.

 

i also tend to find that they all have ''issues'' however. i would call these sorts of things part of lifes rich tapestry, but ametricans ten to compartmentalise them into issues taht need addressing. often with a therapist.

[Sonoftherock]

isnt it the case that only a few american have passports?

 

i can see why they are so insular. they've been the biggest and most important nation on earth for 100 years or so.

 

and the physical size of the place is unbelievable. you wouldnt need to leave the country as there is so much to see and do in most states, never mind the entire country.

 

When I was a student, I spent some time at MIT which, according to the Times, is currently ranked the 3rd best University in the world. The students I met when I was over there were some of the brightest minds in the country... to my surprise the vast majority of them were incredibly well versed on global current affairs and had a better awareness of what was going on outside their own country than most of my friends in England...

 

... however, apart from one or two people I met, none of them had ever actually left the USA.

[Bluto10]

When I was a student, I spent some time at MIT which, according to the Times, is currently ranked the 3rd best University in the world. The students I met when I was over there were some of the brightest minds in the country... to my surprise the vast majority of them were incredibly well versed on global current affairs and had a better awareness of what was going on outside their own country than most of my friends in England...

 

... however, apart from one or two people I met, none of them had ever actually left the USA.

 

 

i think it is amazingly low, like 10% or something.

 

like america is a counrty of contrasts, its quite easy to ridicule them when you hear things like that.

but as i said the place is huge. its liek the size of europe.

and how many europeans have been outwith europe?

[Henry]

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-02-04/travel/americans.travel.domestically_1_western-hemisphere-travel-initiative-passports-tourism-industries?_s=PM:TRAVEL

 

CNN have it at 30%, as of February. Still incredulously low.

[phoenix]

Interplanetary travel is far it's at noo.

 

Every major city is beginning to look like every other major city wi' Americanisation.

 

Whit we need is another Robert Pirsig to do a 'Zen and the Art of Interplanetary Travel'

 

 

 

[Betty Swallicks]

The wife being your typical American sees the world in one of two ways.

 

1. Stuff that is American

 

2. Stuff that isn't American

 

Tried engaging her in a conversation regarding Libya... "Looks like Gaddafi's tatties." I said to her.

 

"I don't know what that means." She says. "I'm going to get something to eat." and she continues towards the kitchen. Not good enough for me, so I intercept her in the living room.

 

"Tatties. Gaddafi's up the creek. The rebels are in Tripoli." I say, planting myself in front of the kitchen door.

 

"I don't know what that means." She says.

 

"You know there's a civil war to overthrow Gaddafi, right."

 

"Is that Cuba?"

 

No, it's Libya."

 

"Oh," she says, feigning interest. "Are the rebels against Gaddafi."

 

"Aye." I says, "That's why we call them rebels."

 

"And they're good?" She enquires.

 

"I don't know. They could be just as bad as Gaddafi."

 

"But Gaddafi's bad, right?" She says, furrowing her little brow in thought... and you can see the thought processes kicking in... 'Gaddafi's bad, ergo the guys overthrowing him must be not bad... "

 

"Some people say Gaddafi's bad, yes."

 

"So then... " she starts....

 

"It doesn't matter." I tell her. "Get me a beer oot the fridge while you're in there, eh, darlin'?"

 

And so ended Kelt's latest attempt to engage an American in a conversation regarding 'Stuff that isn't American'.

 

To be fair, her old man, about as American as you can get, will often initiate conversations with me about 'Stuff that isn't American', but that's usually an ill-informed tirade about Hindus searching him at an American airport, or how America bails Europe out all the time, or how much 'Stuff that isn't American' sucks in comparison to 'Stuff that is American'. He'll be in Britain shortly, and I swear on my only son that he asked me in all seriousness if the hotel he's staying at is likely to have an en-suite bathroom, because he'll "be damned if I'm sharing a bathroom with a whole bunch of strangers."

 

Still, I've got a beer.

 

 

 

 

 

That must get tedious though min.

 

Never just want to hae a good natter wi like minded folk or is the closest you get to that us neeps on here?

[Jonty]

i think it is amazingly low, like 10% or something.

 

like america is a counrty of contrasts, its quite easy to ridicule them when you hear things like that.

but as i said the place is huge. its liek the size of europe.

and how many europeans have been outwith europe?

 

Don't see the relevance - a large majority of folk over here may have been abroad, but given many of them spend the time getting smashed in Tenerife/Ibiza/Malia/Turkey/Some other sunny sh1thole drinking British lager, eating full english's and watching re-runs of Only Fools and Horses I don't see why that qualifies them to have more of a global perspective than your average American?

[phoenix]

Don't see the relevance - a large majority of folk over here may have been abroad, but given many of them spend the time getting smashed in Tenerife/Ibiza/Malia/Turkey/Some other sunny sh1thole drinking British lager, eating full english's and watching re-runs of Only Fools and Horses I don't see why that qualifies them to have more of a global perspective than your average American?

 

 

Jist whit I was thinkin' , Jonty.

 

I wonder what the %age of tourists who do exactly that is.

 

That's the percentage that suggests travel narrows the mind.