Ask Ke1T And The Other Ab-Yanks Anything

[Big Man]

Ke1t i like learning about the American psyche from you.

 

Anyway, im watchin newsnight just now and there is this crackpot American senator on sayin how he wants the Lockerbie bomber extradited and put on trial in the U.S. or assassinated, and Mitt Romney supports his views.

 

How is this being played out over there, are politicians actually giving credence to this? Is Lockerbie a touchy subject over there?

 

:thumbs:

 

 

 

[Ke1t]

Ke1t i like learning about the American psyche from you.

 

Anyway, im watchin newsnight just now and there is this crackpot American senator on sayin how he wants the Lockerbie bomber extradited and put on trial in the U.S. or assassinated, and Mitt Romney supports his views.

 

How is this being played out over there, are politicians actually giving credence to this? Is Lockerbie a touchy subject over there?

 

:thumbs:

 

Hadn't heard about this particular rant from an American politician. There's usually so much stupid/ignorant/violent/ridiculous sh*t going on that one more bit of overreaction can often get lost in the Sea of Stupid. Remember that one state is like the size of a European country, so just keeping up with all the dumb sh*t that's going on in your own state can be a huge and depressing task.

 

Someone in California might go on a frenzied killing spree, and that'll be front page/headline news... right up until the next frenzied killing spree occurs about 45 minutes later, maybe in Ohio. I can understand people in Ohio going on killing sprees because if you can imagine living in Moneymusk, and even driving for 4 hours means you're STILL in Moneymusk... just fields, and coos, and agricultural types watching you drive by, all of them going, "Aye, aye, surely, surely." And there's f**k all to do except maybe fire an air rifle at cattle, or watch telly which is all about f**king cattle... figuratively and literally... or maybe, just maybe you can crack into your father's gun case, load up with armour-piercing bullets... what with them being legal and all, just in case you go out hunting armoured vehicles... and climb a bell tower somewhere in the Middle of Moneymusk, and just start blasting away at the never-ending army of f**king teuchters that inhabit everywhere for 500 miles in every direction... and then finally, almost out of armour-piercing rounds... you take the rifle, stick the barrel in your mouth, and just blow the sad, empty, hollow, rural existence away in a fine mist of blood and bits of head.

 

Anyway, to answer your question, haven't seen the latest lunatic suggestion from a lunatic politician, devised as it will be to pander to a collection of low-IQ muppets who spend more time drooling out the corners of their mouths and trying to understand the plot to X-Factor than they do educating themselves as to the stupidity of their own f**king opinions.

 

Our little corner of America is still recovering from the storms that blew through here at the weekend, wrecking the sh*t out of everything in its path. That's the big story here... trees in the road, power lines down, tornadoes and the wrath of Jesus.

[ollie1903]

Hadn't heard about this particular rant from an American politician. There's usually so much stupid/ignorant/violent/ridiculous sh*t going on that one more bit of overreaction can often get lost in the Sea of Stupid. Remember that one state is like the size of a European country, so just keeping up with all the dumb sh*t that's going on in your own state can be a huge and depressing task.

 

Someone in California might go on a frenzied killing spree, and that'll be front page/headline news... right up until the next frenzied killing spree occurs about 45 minutes later, maybe in Ohio. I can understand people in Ohio going on killing sprees because if you can imagine living in Moneymusk, and even driving for 4 hours means you're STILL in Moneymusk... just fields, and coos, and agricultural types watching you drive by, all of them going, "Aye, aye, surely, surely." And there's f**k all to do except maybe fire an air rifle at cattle, or watch telly which is all about f**king cattle... figuratively and literally... or maybe, just maybe you can crack into your father's gun case, load up with armour-piercing bullets... what with them being legal and all, just in case you go out hunting armoured vehicles... and climb a bell tower somewhere in the Middle of Moneymusk, and just start blasting away at the never-ending army of f**king teuchters that inhabit everywhere for 500 miles in every direction... and then finally, almost out of armour-piercing rounds... you take the rifle, stick the barrel in your mouth, and just blow the sad, empty, hollow, rural existence away in a fine mist of blood and bits of head.

 

Anyway, to answer your question, haven't seen the latest lunatic suggestion from a lunatic politician, devised as it will be to pander to a collection of low-IQ muppets who spend more time drooling out the corners of their mouths and trying to understand the plot to X-Factor than they do educating themselves as to the stupidity of their own f**king opinions.

 

Our little corner of America is still recovering from the storms that blew through here at the weekend, wrecking the sh*t out of everything in its path. That's the big story here... trees in the road, power lines down, tornadoes and the wrath of Jesus.

That muthafuka, Jesus. Will you be suing his muthafukin' ass

[Ke1t]

I'm on record as saying that if I ever meet Jesus I'm kicking him square in the balls.

 

Detroit's big thing right now is the city trying to be all it can be. In recent years the city has fallen down the list of most violent cities in America, and the residents are really pulling out all the stops in an attempt to put Detroit back on the map as the most dangerous city in these here United States. They're just killing the sh*t out of each other right now... and you can really see the sense of civic pride on their faces these days. Its given them a sense of purpose. In fact they're not just shooting for most violent city, they're shooting (literally) for the most violent city OF ALL TIME!

 

People accuse Detroiters of being stupid, lazy, ignorant, belligerent, poorly-educated losers, but I think this year's spike in brutal, senseless murder just goes to show that this city is still alive and kicking... well, some of them are, at least.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lym6PQr6oc

[tightbreeks]

omni consumer products would sort out motor city.

 

is it true that about a third of US tax dollars go to the military?

do more than half of americans not own a pasport? i can see why not, you can pretty much fill your boots there.

 

eddie izzard is quite funny about them when he's in san fran. alcatraz! the romans came!

[phoenix]

Ke1t i like learning about the American psyche from you.

 

Anyway, im watchin newsnight just now and there is this crackpot American senator on sayin how he wants the Lockerbie bomber extradited and put on trial in the U.S. or assassinated, and Mitt Romney supports his views.

 

How is this being played out over there, are politicians actually giving credence to this? Is Lockerbie a touchy subject over there?

 

:thumbs:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ke1t is one amusing son of( the earth ) but you'll not be getting an accurate profile of the American psyche.

 

What we surely get is a reasonable picture of the way his own cerebral mechanism functions and how it works for his own survival.

 

With a bunch of fun thrown in.

 

It's cathartic , maaan.

 

Just as it would be unfair to stereotype your average Scotsman , so it would the average American. In fact averaging humanity in general is only 'useful' for accountants , statisticians and government departments. We are so much more than that.

 

America may no longer be the 'land of the free' , if it ever was. According your own personal definition it may have lost that appelation as soon as 'white boy' arrived.

 

However , there is a lorra mind-blowing STUFF going on there....and I'll be forever grateful to them for the '40s , '50s and '60s.....Jesus.....the '70s even. I blame Reagan and Thatcher for the rest.

 

Subtract the 'red-neck' mentality , which we find all over the world , and things turn out quite nicely.....give or take a little.

 

Nevertheless , I would hate for such a balanced outlook on our American neighbours to get in the way of Ke1t's hilarious put downs - it does us all good. They are after all , fair game...the big ones always are...and they don't like it up 'em.

[GK55]

Ke1t - ever go to any College Football over there?

 

Got a lot of friends in Ohio - all OSU Buckeye fans.

[oldyoungloon]

have any of you's had any run ins with gang bangers?, who runs your city bloods or crips, brotha?

[Coopy100]

Kelt do you ever explore the abandoned bits of Detroit? Saw a documentary called requiem for Detroit and it looked like a ghost town but would be good to have a look around.

 

EDIT: and have the radio patrol that was mentioned in the youtube clip you posted been shot yet for being grasses?

[oldyoungloon]

i have

[360]

Kelt, what is your favourite song?

[The Boofon]

Are hamburgers really made from ham in America?

[Ke1t]

These are all fantastic questions, and feel free to hit me with any others you come up with.... let me answer these for you.

 

Ke1t - ever go to any College Football over there?

 

I've been to the Michigan State v University of Michigan football game. They get crowds about the size of an Old Firm game, and these amateur college teams have more cash than the Old Firm. It was as exciting as American Football can get, which is to say I was crying with boredom approximately 15 seconds into the game, after which things only got worse. Not one to hold my tongue I was screaming "THIS IS sh*te!" every time anything happened, which, to be fair, was only about three times in the entire 15 hour, unnecessarily drawn out joke of a game. You're also surrounded by about 50,000 drunk Americans... and someone explain to me how the f**k it's possible to get hammered on Budweiser?... who all think they're Rambo and want to fight anyone who so much as brushes against them.

 

Got a lot of friends in Ohio - all OSU Buckeye fans.

 

The American equivalent of the Crathes... without a castle.

 

Kelt do you ever explore the abandoned bits of Detroit?

 

I drive through the abandoned bits of Detroit on my way to clients.. and to clarify, the abandoned bits of Detroit = about 30% of Detroit. Entire blocks are just derelict, burnt out shells, remnants of the riots in the 60s. I suppose 50 years is too short a time to expect local government to get round to clearing them away. Entire industrial estates that would dwarf Tullos are just lying abandoned, literally miles upon miles of streets and buildings that are being reclaimed by trees and weeds. But abandoned doesn't mean uninhabited. People live there in the ruins of Detroit's homes and industry. Entire communities of Troggy homeless eke out a living in what was the greatest manufacturing powerhouse on the planet. And they will stab you, rape you, rob you and very likely eat you... so when I drive through these areas on the way to clients, or to other Oases of whiteness I do so with the car doors locked and my foot on the accelerator. I would LOVE to go down there and take pictures, photography being a bit of a hobby of mine, but just going down there would be dangerous. To do so with expensive electronics would be an unbelievably... you might say incredulously bad idea.... I might as well go down there at night looking to get stabbed, robbed, raped and eaten.

 

and have the radio patrol that was mentioned in the youtube clip you posted been shot yet for being grasses?

 

Dunno, but right now just walking around Detroit is asking to be shot by some meth head. Truth be told the scariest gang right now is the Gang Squad. These are coppers specially selected for their complete lack of any kind of morals, restraint or human compassion. And they have guns and dogs and jeeps and a license to just shoot anything that looks at them funny.

 

i have

[The Boofon]

 

That depends on how loose a definition you have of what constitutes 'Ham'.

 

Do pigs cocks and balls fall under under the heading of 'Ham'?

 

 

Only male pigs. Female pig balls have always made me suspicious.

 

 

 

Final questions from me today are these.

 

Who's on first?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M

 

 

Is this the way to Amarillo?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHuOagWzaws

[Oklahoma 1903]

Is this the way to Amarillo?

 

 

I live about 150 miles East of Amarillo.

[Ke1t]

Only male pigs. Female pig balls have always made me suspicious.

 

 

 

Final questions from me today are these.

 

Who's on first?

 

Correct.

 

 

Is this the way to Amarillo?

 

No. this is the way to Amarillo

 

[The Boofon]

I live about 150 miles East of Amarillo.

 

 

So what do you think of Kelt's map?

 

Is he spinning me a line?

[Oklahoma 1903]

So what do you think of Kelt's map?

 

Is he spinning me a line?

 

Nope his map is spot on.

[The Boofon]

Nope his map is spot on.

 

 

Doesn't look like it's 150 miles east of Amarillo. It looks more like a couple of thousand miles North East.

[Oklahoma 1903]

Doesn't look like it's 150 miles east of Amarillo. It looks more like a couple of thousand miles North East.

 

I live in SW Oklahoma.

[Bebo]

I live about 150 miles East of Amarillo.

 

AFC-Chats old server was based near Amarillo...

[The Boofon]

AFC-Chats old server was based near Amarillo...

 

 

24 hours from Tulsa by any chance?

[Oklahoma 1903]

24 hours from Tulsa by any chance?

 

I'm three hours from Tulsa

[360]

Kelt and Oklahoma 1903, what are your opinions on the VW Beetle?

[Ke1t]

Kelt and Oklahoma 1903, what are your opinions on the VW Beetle?

 

 

Well, when Neo-NAZIs tell us that Hitler did a lot of good things I immediately think of the VW Beetle.

 

Obviously they're thinking of gassing and cremating 6 million Jews when they say that, but still, it's good to find some common ground with lunatics, even if it is based on a complete misunderstanding.

 

"Yes, Hitler DID do some good things. Well, no, let's not get caught up in the specifics of what constitutes a 'good' thing."

[Bebo]

Kelt, fit are the common questions you're asked when people hear your accent or learn you're from "Scaaatlaaand"

[madjockmcferson]

Ke1t i like learning about the American psyche from you.

 

Anyway, im watchin newsnight just now and there is this crackpot American senator on sayin how he wants the Lockerbie bomber extradited and put on trial in the U.S. or assassinated, and Mitt Romney supports his views.

 

How is this being played out over there, are politicians actually giving credence to this? Is Lockerbie a touchy subject over there?

 

:thumbs:

 

I've got involved in this conversation. I've had a couple of people ask me why we released them. They just can't understand the humanitarian reasons and they are suspicious it was done for an oil deal.

 

It hasn't helped Scottish or British standing over here but you can't please all the people all the time.

[madjockmcferson]

omni consumer products would sort out motor city.

 

is it true that about a third of US tax dollars go to the military?

do more than half of americans not own a pasport? i can see why not, you can pretty much fill your boots there.

 

eddie izzard is quite funny about them when he's in san fran. alcatraz! the romans came!

 

US military spending is something like 8%. Most of them dont have a passport because there is no need for one. You have all year ski-ing in Arizona, the country is full of amazing things. And, it is expensive to fly to Europe from here. More expensive than it is from the UK to Europe. And they don't get that many holidays, so it kinda makes sense they dont bother with passports.

[Ke1t]

Kelt, fit are the common questions you're asked when people hear your accent or learn you're from "Scaaatlaaand"

 

Are you Canadian/Australian.

 

One guy told me I was Irish. Explained to him I was in fact Scottish, and he explained to me that Scotland was in Ireland so I was Irish.

[madjockmcferson]

Kelt, fit are the common questions you're asked when people hear your accent or learn you're from "Scaaatlaaand"

 

 

One of my wife's colleagues loves the accent. She asked me to say something to her and I said "i hate americans and america", she clearly didnt understand anything i said when she replied "adorable", swooned and went back into her own little world.