New Bank Statement

[Bluto10]

getting a new bank statement is never a cause for excitement.

 

my last one showed -100gbp.

got 31 days out of it.

 

last one showed and excessive amount of late night withdrawls and plenty of hefty chip&pin payments in battle cruisers.

 

shall i open it tonight?

wonder what this one will be like.

[Bobby Connor]

I see what you did there...

 

Bank statements are best filed in the 'Aye, will have to check that out later' drawer and forgotten about.

[Dynamo]

getting a new bank statement is never a cause for excitement.

 

my last one showed -100gbp.

got 31 days out of it.

 

last one showed and excessive amount of late night withdrawls and plenty of hefty chip&pin payments in battle cruisers.

shall i open it tonight?

wonder what this one will be like.

 

 

Always happens. It's a nightmare the next day when you realise.

 

Anyway, save the trees, check it online.

[muttondressedaslamb]

So people still get paper bills sent to them????

 

Get online then you never have to check

[StandFree1982]

Aye, you go to the bank machine, cross your fingers and hope n pray that it doesn't say "insufficient funds". Thats the only bank "statement" i need.

[Betty Swallicks]

Open it, check it, file it.

 

 

No checkie leads to deeper shittie.

 

[NorthernLights24]

So people still get paper bills sent to them????

 

Get online then you never have to check

 

I was surprised as well. The only bill I get sent to me now is my credit card bill and that is only because I don't seem to have the option to switch off paper billing. I do get a weekly balance update sent to my mobile which is handy for keeping tracking of things as well.

 

As soon as I turned 16 my mum made me sign up to internet banking and I have no idea how I'd cope without it. Its amazing to think just how vital the internet has become to many of us in just over a decade.

[Bobby Connor]

I was surprised as well. The only bill I get sent to me now is my credit card bill and that is only because I don't seem to have the option to switch off paper billing. I do get a weekly balance update sent to my mobile which is handy for keeping tracking of things as well.

 

As soon as I turned 16 my mum made me sign up to internet banking and I have no idea how I'd cope without it. Its amazing to think just how vital the internet has become to many of us in just over a decade.

 

Various financial institutions nagging me to go paperless but I like the thought of them having to do at least a little bit of work!

[madjockmcferson]

Various financial institutions nagging me to go paperless but I like the thought of them having to do at least a little bit of work!

 

A machine prints and sends it. They do fuck all.....

[Bobby Connor]

A machine prints and sends it. They do fuck all.....

 

Not true mate. I used to work for the RBS meticulously folding statements so am well aware of the reasons they would rather avoid the hassle!

[The Boofon]

getting a new bank statement is never a cause for excitement.

 

my last one showed -100gbp.

got 31 days out of it.

 

last one showed and excessive amount of late night withdrawls and plenty of hefty chip&pin payments in battle cruisers.

 

shall i open it tonight?

wonder what this one will be like.

 

Do you not have a Dutch bank account?

 

Genuine question. As you live there I thought maybe you'd get one set up.

[Dynamo]

Do you not have a Dutch bank account?

 

Genuine question. As you live there I thought maybe you'd get one set up.

 

The only Dutch account he's likely to have will be in some seedy Amsterdam hoor hoose.

[tup]

The bank aye tries to get me to do things by 'direct debit' oh, it's more convenient, and will save you hassle (but cost you a fortune in bank charges and penalties) say umpteen sales people.

 

After I launch into a diatribe about 'direct debit' being more 'direct theft and shady practice' for a full ten minutes, the person at the other end of the line is audibly losing the will to exist as I reach my crescendo, after which they say fair enough, we'll carry on as before.

 

Get bills for everything. Fuck the bank, treat them like the bunch of bastards they are. Make them jump through every fucking hoop you can come up with.

 

I do every transaction in cash.

[Betty Swallicks]

The bank aye tries to get me to do things by 'direct debit' oh, it's more convenient, and will save you hassle (but cost you a fortune in bank charges and penalties) say umpteen sales people.

 

After I launch into a diatribe about 'direct debit' being more 'direct theft and shady practice' for a full ten minutes, the person at the other end of the line is audibly losing the will to exist as I reach my crescendo, after which they say fair enough, we'll carry on as before.

 

Get bills for everything. Fuck the bank, treat them like the bunch of bastards they are. Make them jump through every fucking hoop you can come up with.

 

I do every transaction in cash.

 

 

Spot on!

 

I'm prudent with my money (a fucking grip really) and the fucking hassle they cause me with trying to get my cash into their accounts is a pain in the erse.

I'll sit doon and find out fits best for me , I dinna need some

[Nelly]

can't see the point of causing problems just becuase you can - helps no-one.

 

Every bill I have is set up as a direct debit, all paperless billing. I make sure I check balances and useage online every week or so, so no hassles. Instant cash transfers are accepted practically everywhere.

 

There's better things to focus your energy on than writing cheques and posting or withdrawing cash and personally delivering it, while giving the poor sod over the counter your opinion on how shite everything has become these days.

 

Fkn luddites!

[tup]

I dinna post or write anything.

 

I withdraw all my cash as soon as it goes in - readies. The only way of working.

 

Pay everything in cash and leave no trail.

 

If you pay it all electronically, basically your whole life is available for the government, News of the World, and Metropolitan Police to pore over, and judge you accordingly.

 

Do anything wrong, or step on the wrong toe, and watch the info leak out like a tap.

[Nelly]

I dinna post or write anything.

 

I withdraw all my cash as soon as it goes in - readies. The only way of working.

 

Pay everything in cash and leave no trail.

 

If you pay it all electronically, basically your whole life is available for the government, News of the World, and Metropolitan Police to pore over, and judge you accordingly.

 

Do anything wrong, or step on the wrong toe, and watch the info leak out like a tap.

I suppose you have black-out blinds in every room so that satellites cant look into your house and see what you get up to at night, do you wear a collander on your head too?

[The Boofon]

I dinna post or write anything.

 

I withdraw all my cash as soon as it goes in - readies. The only way of working.

 

Pay everything in cash and leave no trail.

 

If you pay it all electronically, basically your whole life is available for the government, News of the World, and Metropolitan Police to pore over, and judge you accordingly.

 

Do anything wrong, or step on the wrong toe, and watch the info leak out like a tap.

 

 

By withdrawing everything in one go you have already left a trail.

 

The time you went to the bank will be logged and caught on CCTV and if you happen to withdraw a large amount (most probable since you withdraw all your pay in a 1er) then it'll be in crisp new notes all with serial numbers traceable should you happen to be doing anything untoward.

 

You're right about paying with cash as it's better and enables occasional discounts but if you think you're leaving no trace then think again.

 

The only way to avoid trace with money is to navigate away from the bank completely. Being paid cash in hand with used notes is the only way you could leave no trace of your finances.

 

ANyway I get a financial report instead of a bank statement. Bank statements are so 20th Century.

[tup]

By withdrawing everything in one go you have already left a trail.

 

The time you went to the bank will be logged and caught on CCTV and if you happen to withdraw a large amount (most probable since you withdraw all your pay in a 1er) then it'll be in crisp new notes all with serial numbers traceable should you happen to be doing anything untoward.

 

You're right about paying with cash as it's better and enables occasional discounts but if you think you're leaving no trace then think again.

 

The only way to avoid trace with money is to navigate away from the bank completely. Being paid cash in hand with used notes is the only way you could leave no trace of your finances.

 

ANyway I get a financial report instead of a bank statement. Bank statements are so 20th Century.

 

No it's not. The bank do trade in used notes too. Nine times out of ten it's not new money, just recycled.

 

I don't just think I'm leaving no trace. I know. I go into the bank looking like Mr Potato Head, false moustache, those fake plastic lugs you get in joke shops, joke eyeballs on springs and a bowler hat.

[diamondsr4ever]

No it's not. The bank do trade in used notes too. Nine times out of ten it's not new money, just recycled.

 

I don't just think I'm leaving no trace. I know. I go into the bank looking like Mr Potato Head, false moustache, those fake plastic lugs you get in joke shops, joke eyeballs on springs and a bowler hat.

 

clockwork orangesque?

[tup]

More Chocolate orange-esque, I'm in and out like Indiana Jones, as he negotiates tunnels and hazards whilst being tailed by a thunderously large chocolate ball which will surely crush him to death if he stops to pause for breath.

 

They ken me, so they know not to press the red alarm button under the counter.

[diamondsr4ever]

More Chocolate orange-esque, I'm in and out like Indiana Jones, as he negotiates tunnels and hazards whilst being tailed by a thunderously large chocolate ball which will surely crush him to death if he stops to pause for breath.

 

They ken me, so they know not to press the red alarm button under the counter.

 

I have a horrible vision of you beating a teller to death with a giant c

[barassie_afc]

The bank aye tries to get me to do things by 'direct debit' oh, it's more convenient, and will save you hassle (but cost you a fortune in bank charges and penalties) say umpteen sales people.

 

After I launch into a diatribe about 'direct debit' being more 'direct theft and shady practice' for a full ten minutes, the person at the other end of the line is audibly losing the will to exist as I reach my crescendo, after which they say fair enough, we'll carry on as before.

 

Get bills for everything. Fuck the bank, treat them like the bunch of bastards they are. Make them jump through every fucking hoop you can come up with.

 

I do every transaction in cash.

 

Really, even large transactions ? I thought they incurred some form of police check etc , someone mentioned that on here

[Henry]

and a bowler hat.

 

 

 

Tup: I'd like to withdraw everything in my account please.

 

Teller: Oh FFS, not this cunt again.

[tup]

I like going into the bank to rant about the issues of the day, blow off steam to the dull cows behind the counter, try and provoke a reaction.

[Bluto10]

I like going into the bank to rant about the issues of the day, blow off steam to the dull cows behind the counter, try and provoke a reaction.

 

 

i see a falling down situation happening here in the middle of the highlands or whatever shithole tup calls home.

[tup]

i see a falling down situation happening here in the middle of the highlands or whatever shithole tup calls home.

 

I feel like that every day, but dinna get the opportunity to make a fucking movie out of my rage, unlike that cunt Douglas.