Animal Attacks

[The Boofon]

Boy at work got stung by a scorpion last night. Nae luck. Stuck his boots on and there was a scorpion inside one of them who swiftly let him have it for sticking his foot into the scorpions new home. Seems to be fine enough today but feels a bit of a twat for not checking his boots.

 

I've been bitten by a horse when I was a young loon and have had a very rational fear of horses ever since.

 

Deadly animals preferred so bees and wasps don't count unless you actually had an Anaphylaxis reaction to the little bastards sting.

 

Horses do count as they are deadly killers and also look what they did to Superman.

[BrianFaePerth]

The midges in Turkey loved me. Maist cunts had the odd bite here and there, but eh was wandering around looking like eh had some sort of pox.

[The Boofon]

The midges in Turkey loved me. Maist cunts had the odd bite here and there, but eh was wandering around looking like eh had some sort of pox.

 

 

Did the bites make you look more like you've got the pox?

[Dynamo]

Once fought off a lion when I was on safari.

[Dom Sullivan]

Once fought off a lion when I was on safari.

You sure it wisna a fox?

 

What was her name?

[scotfree]

I got bitten by a Mosquito and ended up with Ross River fever.

Felt like Shit for weeks and still get it when i'm a bit run down.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ross_River_fever

[Bluto10]

had a bit of a barney with a croc the other day in my local after one too many.

[Henry]

had a bit of a wrestle with a cock the other day in my local after one too many.

 

[Bluto10]

once booted a duck into the canal as it was getting in the way.

[The Boofon]

once booted a duck into the canal as it was getting in the way.

 

 

Latest email into my inbox.

 

 

"Please be informed that our cleaner found a Snake almost 50 centimeter tall ( Biological hazard) under the room BB16 then it was hidden under the room AA16. we dont have any idea about the number of snakes exist."

 

 

Little fuckers are everywhere I can tell him that.

 

A 50cm tall snake. Some height that.

[BrianFaePerth]

 

Latest email into my inbox.

 

 

"Please be informed that our cleaner found a Snake almost 50 centimeter tall ( Biological hazard) under the room BB16 then it was hidden under the room AA16. we dont have any idea about the number of snakes exist."

 

 

Little fuckers are everywhere I can tell him that.

 

A 50cm tall snake. Some height that.

 

FFS. What shithole dae ye find yerself in these days Boof?

[Henry]

Fraserburgh.

[The Boofon]

FFS. What shithole dae ye find yerself in these days Boof?

 

 

Fraserburgh.

 

 

Algeria. It's not as bad as it sounds.

 

Good for topping up the tan although while you're out sunbathing you jump pretty quickly when you think something is crawling on you.

[RAZOR]

I've been bitten by a horse when I was a young loon and have had a very rational fear of horses ever since.

Nae chance.

 

Wasp, bees. Usual stings.

 

A dog went for my grandads dog while we were walking it one day in the park. Grandad reacted quickest and shoves his fist down the other dogs throat. It remains the most bizarre thing ive ever saw.

[The Boofon]

Nae chance.

 

Wasp, bees. Usual stings.

 

A dog went for my grandads dog while we were walking it one day in the park. Grandad reacted quickest and shoves his fist down the other dogs throat. It remains the most bizarre thing ive ever saw.

 

Neigh chance would have been funnier.

 

Fed the fucker an apple and it took a chunk out of my palm.

 

Been properly spooked by them ever since.

[360]

Been properly spooked by them ever since.

 

 

I'm not scared of any animals, apart from spiders.

[Ke1t]

Was bitten by a Labrador when I was a kid, despite me not even looking at the bastard thing until it sunk its teeth into me, the fucking mutt. Got the usual, "Well, you must have been annoying it" shite from the adults... have had a pathological hatred of dogs in general and labradors in particular ever since.

 

Zero tolerance given to badly behaved dogs these days... if a dog snarls at me it'll get a full force boot to the chops and a further boot to the arse as it attempts to escape my wrath.

 

One day I plan to fight a dog to the death.

[tup]

If you're scared of dogs you're either:

 

1) Feel.

 

2) Fat.

 

or

 

3) A poof

 

Dogs are man's best friend, if trained properly, loyal to the core, the best animals walking the earth's surface by a mile.

 

I was attacked by an alsatian when I was 11, took a huge bite out of my back, didna bother me too much, I still like dogs, it's the owners of the badly behaved dogs who require the kicking, same as bairns.

[Dynamo]

 

 

 

Dogs are man's best friend, if trained properly, loyal to the core, the best animals walking the earth's surface by a mile.

 

 

 

Agreed. Dogs are ace. And they dinna nag or give you back chat.

[Dandyesque]

I was head-butted by a goat when a nipper.

[tup]

I was head-butted by a goat when a nipper.

 

boofon certainly won't be afraid of goats.

 

Have you read 'The Men who Stare at Goats'?

[Dandyesque]

boofon certainly won't be afraid of goats.

 

Have you read 'The Men who Stare at Goats'?

 

No, but I did see the movie - very enjoyable.

 

Unlike Boofon, I am not scarred for life as I saw the incident as my fault - it clearyl wasn't happy about my attempt to get the milk from a more direct route and reacted accordingly.

 

I like goats.

 

They're like sheep, except have more personality and a different "look"

 

[tup]

I dinna watch movie adaptations of good books, on account of the fact they love to add 'airms and legs' to the story to make it palatable for their mainly thick audience.

[StandFree1982]

I was playing golf a while back and this sneaky Fox tried to eat some food I had in my golf bag. I decided that the only action was to take the fox out with my club using every ounce of strength I had, just incase.

[Dynamo]

I was playing golf a while back and this sneaky Fox tried to eat some food I had in my golf bag. I decided that the only action was to take the fox out with my club using every ounce of strength I had, just incase.

 

 

What a horrible thing to do.

[StandFree1982]

What a horrible thing to do.

Woooosh!

[Dynamo]

Ahh...good one.

[The Boofon]

boofon certainly won't be afraid of goats.

 

 

 

Nope I'm not.

 

Very well behaved animals.

[Dandyesque]

I dinna watch movie adaptations of good books, on account of the fact they love to add 'airms and legs' to the story to make it palatable for their mainly thick audience.

 

I know what you mean.

 

I hated the TV Movie adaptation of "Limb-less - my Thalidomide hell"

 

The added arms and legs totally ruined the plot.

[tup]

Aye the book was better, the true story of Bob Cork, a man with no airms and legs who swam the English channel.