Football Clich

[StandFree1982]

"There has never been a better time to play <team>"

It's being thrown around here about us playing the Old Firm....usually it ends up in a humping!

 

"Goals change games..."

Right enough.

 

"If it wasn't for the goalie there would be a lot more goals in this game..."

No shit.

[Dynamo]

"There are no easy games in international football."

 

 

Yes there are.

[StandFree1982]

"There is only going to be one winner in this game"

[tup]

'The lads gave 110%, that's all we can ask'

 

Aye I take it they tore Pythagoras' painstaking work to shreds in the process and promptly re-wrote the laws of mathematics first?

 

Or maybe not, you thick bastard.

[bonzodaddy73]

If he'd been Brazilian we would be talking about that goal for weeks.

[Crossbow]

"It's a game of two halves"

 

"The boys got a great engine"

 

"If the ball had gone in the net it would have been a goal"

[tup]

'We need to get wired in early doors'

 

Early what?

[Redstar]

'The lads gave 110%, that's all we can ask'

 

Aye I take it they tore Pythagoras' painstaking work to shreds in the process and promptly re-wrote the laws of mathematics first?

 

Or maybe not, you thick bastard.

 

That one really annoys me as well

[tup]

'There are no easy games in football'

 

Aye there are, we beat some crowd 18-1 once in primary school, easy as fuck.

[tommo1903]

'We need to get wired in early doors'

 

Early what?

 

Ron Atkinson takes credit for that "coining" that phrase

[tup]

'Play the whistle'

 

Sorry, this is no time for music, we're in the middle of a game of football FFS min.

[GK55]

When someone says a team is 'too good to go down'

 

Ermmmm clearly not, if they have went down!

[StandFree1982]

"We didn't deserve to lose that game"

 

You let in more goals than the other team, therefore you did. Possibly a simplified version of the rules of football should be handed out to some people.

[tup]

'He'd struggle to score in a brothel'

 

Doubt it.

[Pash]

"He needs to step up to the plate."

 

What plate? I see no plate fool.

[tup]

'We'll take each game at a time'

 

You've no fucking choice min.

[tup]

'It was all handbags'

 

[Podge]

"<insert team ground name here> is always a difficult place to come to."

 

Except that this is used by almost all managers after a match. I wish just once in a while some managers after winning an away match would just say "well that was easy!"

[Coopy100]

'Play the whistle'

 

Sorry, this is no time for music, we're in the middle of a game of football FFS min.

Of course that cliche is actually 'play to the whistle.'

 

110% one fucking annoys the tits aff me as well.

[StandFree1982]

"Darren Mackie will grab the goals for the Dons this season"

 

10 years of that pish...

[tup]

'It's horses for courses'

 

Aye fair enough, now back to football if you dinna mind.

[At The Border Guy]

"These are the best fans in the world"

 

...as it always gets applied to the most fickle, prickish sets of supporters.

[tup]

'We had them on the ropes'

 

What ropes?

[muttonhumper]

"At the end of the day"

Fuck me, is there ony halfwit manager or player that disnae churn that een oot time efter time.

Even has transgressed into celeb retard speak across the pap media.

 

Oh aye.

The "keep it tight" for 20 minutes".

Used by those affiliated with the team attempting to do this, and those commentating on, or previewing said match involving this scenario.

Nae muckle ees if the arse fa's oot o' it from minutes 21-25 and ye find yersel 3-0 doon.

Eedeeits.

[tup]

'The transfer window slams shut'

 

Some cunt must have left the transfer front door open on a breezy day in transferland.

[tup]

'He's been put on gardening leave'

 

Do you get supervised while you are forced to spend three weeks doing your garden. Are you allowed into the house?

 

I bet Tevez's gairden is bonny.

[tommo1903]

I bet Tevez's gairden is bonny.

 

Unlike his face.

[tup]

'We've put Tevez on Face leave' - Man City spokesman.

 

His garden is well kept, his face is not, he's got three weeks to sort it out.

[Pash]

[muttonhumper]

"These things even themselves out over the course of a season".

 

Really?

Even in the SPL where referees are feart to give a decision against the bigots in case their living room windis get panned in while they are having their erse filled wi' jism in front of a faux open hearth fire?

Hmmm...