Wankers Anonymous

[Big Man]

Been living away from the wife for a little over 2 months now and the lack of regular sex is starting to take its toll. I turned to redtube on a regular basis a few weeks ago – been banging out at least one, sometimes two a day ever since.

 

Its severely draining my battery (im permanently shagged out), my mind drifts into and out of sexual thoughts whilst at work (more than is usual), and i find myself attracted to tango-faced office clunge i wouldn't of touched with a barge poll 7/8 weeks ago.

 

Im lost here guys – someone must have gone through a similar experience, how do all you rig c@nts deal with it when you're stuck out at sea?

[minijc]

2 month, that's fuck all you dick.

[Dynamo]

Plenty totty in edinburgh I'd imagine

[tutankamun]

2 month, that's fuck all you dick.

 

[Ke1t]

Been living away from the wife for a little over 2 months now and the lack of regular sex is starting to take its toll. I turned to redtube on a regular basis a few weeks ago

[minijc]

I've never worked offshore, but I strongly suspect that the accommodation areas on rigs smell a lot like sweat and spunk.

 

Like a cheap motel in the gayest district of downtown Las Vegas on a hot summers day, just full of sweaty, stinking, wanking, roughnecks, all sweating and stinking and wanking away furiously every second of downtime. Sometimes alone, sometimes in twos or threes, and at New Year it's just one giant fucking sausagefest of cock-slapping, reach arounds and meat packing.

Now I can see why cheesepipes talks about it soo much

[OddJob]

I've never worked offshore, but I strongly suspect that the accommodation areas on rigs smell a lot like sweat and spunk.

 

Like a cheap motel in the gayest district of downtown Las Vegas on a hot summers day, just full of sweaty, stinking, wanking, roughnecks, all sweating and stinking and wanking away furiously every second of downtime. Sometimes alone, sometimes in twos or threes, and at New Year it's just one giant fucking sausagefest of cock-slapping, reach arounds and meat packing.

:hysterical: :hysterical:

[Big Man]

2 month, that's fuck all you dick.

 

Try explaining that to my cock.

 

I've never worked offshore, but I strongly suspect that the accommodation areas on rigs smell a lot like sweat and spunk.

 

Like a cheap motel in the gayest district of downtown Las Vegas on a hot summers day, just full of sweaty, stinking, wanking, roughnecks, all sweating and stinking and wanking away furiously every second of downtime. Sometimes alone, sometimes in twos or threes, and at New Year it's just one giant fucking sausagefest of cock-slapping, reach arounds and meat packing.

 

:hysterical:

 

[OddJob]

Try explaining that to my cock.

[OddJob]

My vessel is like a five star hotel and one man cabins so my wanking is very personal and romantic. I bet half you fuckers bang one out in your shitty office toilets while some cunt squeezes out a king Edward only one foot away!

A King Edward?

[tup]

Cabin fever kicking in is it?

 

What happens at sea, stays at sea, Master Bates, Roger the Cabin Boy, Seaman Stains, they were all guilty of a bit of man love when they had to cope with the blue yonder, look out the Big Man's cellmate is all I'm saying, this man is not sated by mere jazz mags.

[Big Man]

What iv'e thought about doing and what i think im going to do is a self-imposed wank ban. Try and live non-sexually and think non-sexual thoughts.

 

No masturbation whatsoever, store up all my juices and sexual energy for weekend visits.

 

In between then I can dissipate some of the excess sexual energy by channeling it into my work or sports....

[BillShankly]

2 month, that's fuck all you dick.

 

Surely you have by now?

 

There are tonnes of slags in town!

[dazzy_deff]

Porn galore offshore for that very reason.

[Dynamo]

Try explaining that to my cock.

 

 

 

:hysterical:

 

 

I'm sure mini will 'have a word' with it if you ask him nicely.

[muttondressedaslamb]

Isn't this the time to be having 'that' conversation? Long distance relationships rarely work.

 

Or is it just a short term geographical separation?

[Big Man]

Isn't this the time to be having 'that' conversation? Long distance relationships rarely work.

 

Or is it just a short term geographical separation?

 

My work is down here now she's still in Aberdeen.

 

That would be a bit harsh - i can't really imagine life without her.

 

Gagging for a bit of the old ''in-out in-out'' though...

[a1-don]

My work is down here now she's still in Aberdeen.

 

That would be a bit harsh - i can't really imagine life without her.

 

Gagging for a bit of the old ''in-out in-out'' though...

 

... but getting stuck on "shake it all about"

[dazzy_deff]

My work is down here now she's still in Aberdeen.

 

That would be a bit harsh - i can't really imagine life without her.

 

Gagging for a bit of the old ''in-out in-out'' though...

It's just a fanny min, you will find a different model doon there ;-)

[Dandyesque]

Been living away from the wife for a little over 2 months now and the lack of regular sex is starting to take its toll. I turned to redtube on a regular basis a few weeks ago

[zig-a-zig-ah]

Been living away from the wife for a little over 2 months now and the lack of regular sex is starting to take its toll. I turned to redtube on a regular basis a few weeks ago

[CrazyBullSheep]

I work away for 5 weeks at a time and I get round this by having a Hard drive Full of Porn. Knock one oot at least twice a day and sometimes if there's nothing on telly I knock one out then too. If you need a repellent then I suggest you cover your hands in vicks vapo rub and thrash away. Not only will the sting on your bobby be too much to take but the stink of Thrash cheese, and vicks is quite the aroma trust me

[tightbreeks]

I imagine the oil companies encourage access to porn, all these frustrated men wandering about. if they didn't have a release there would be mega tension going about because of the lack of blueys.

[Big Man]

Just do us all a favour and kill yourself.

 

Reported.

 

Hahahaha.

 

He will start a thread for this soon I'd imagine.

 

Anyone reckon he's trying too hard to be like Millertime?

 

Im not trying to be like anyone, im nothing f*ckin like millertime.

[muttondressedaslamb]

How long have you been with your woman for? Hadn't the sex died down a bit anyway?

 

If you come up here then you could stay until the Monday morning and head down to your work then? And vice versa.

 

Skype for virtual sex? Might make a mess of your laptop though

 

Failing that, hoors, it's only sex.

[boboisared]

How long have you been with your woman for? Hadn't the sex died down a bit anyway?

 

If you come up here then you could stay until the Monday morning and head down to your work then? And vice versa.

 

Skype for virtual sex? Might make a mess of your laptop though

 

Failing that, hoors, it's only sex.

Don't think Coopy will be chuffed with that?

[Dynamo]

Big Man, is she moving down to stay with you? Or is it a permanent situation?

 

It'll never last if that's the case.

[Poodler]

Www.raccoontube.com

[Big Man]

Big Man, is she moving down to stay with you? Or is it a permanent situation?

 

It'll never last if that's the case.

 

Well its permanent for around the next 12 months.

 

I didn't expect to be down here, an oppertunity came and i snapped it up. She usually comes down every other weekend, but we've both been busy with work - when i see her next friday it will be the first time in 3 weeks or so.

[Dandyesque]

Well its permanent for around the next 12 months.

 

I didn't expect to be down here, an oppertunity came and i snapped it up. She usually comes down every other weekend, but we've both been busy with work - when i see her next friday it will be the first time in 3 weeks or so.

 

 

Did this with an ex many years ago - it was the beginning of the end IMO although we were together for a while afterwards