If Aberdeen Employed The Business Practices Of Our Rivals

[V for Vendetta]

Given the shenanigans of our rivals in the SPL my question is if Afc employed the questionable business practices of our rivals which should they employ and how would you like to see them do it?

 

In the OP tradition I will start things off

 

1 - I would use Hearts squad management and staff payment scheme to save money by simply not paying Mackie, Clark, Magennis, Paton until such time as they decided to leave. Bye.

2 - I would use Celtics tactic of employing a publicity crazed lawyer to harass and bully the SFA and SPL into ensuring we start with a clear advantage from the referees in every game.

3 - I would forget to pay tax for 10 years, signing top european players on illegal tax aviodance schemes allowing us to complete a 10 year clean sweep of domestic honours safe in the knowledge the authorities will never come looking for the return of the honours won.

[Chrisyboy81]

1. I would adopt Celtic/Lennon tactic of creating the everyone's out to get us mentality.

2. I would like to see us adopting a more Hibs-like approach to youth development. Although they've not been too successful in recent years.

3. I would also like us to have a bit more of an attacking/attractive football ethos like the Hibs sides of a couple of years ago. We may lose but I think most of us would rather lose having a had a go.

4. Last but not least, I would love it if we adopted the winning mentality of the OF and won the league every year!

[V for Vendetta]

1. I would adopt Celtic/Lennon tactic of creating the everyone's out to get us mentality.

2. I would like to see us adopting a more Hibs-like approach to youth development. Although they've not been too successful in recent years.

3. I would also like us to have a bit more of an attacking/attractive football ethos like the Hibs sides of a couple of years ago. We may lose but I think most of us would rather lose having a had a go.

4. Last but not least, I would love it if we adopted the winning mentality of the OF and won the league every year!

 

You went for the legit, sensible options then.

 

I just fancied trying our hand at breaking every rule and law in the land as clearly some of our competitors are allowed to do this without punishment.

[strachanmcgheegoal]

allegedly our competitors have hit on a winning formula of employing two full backs every August. C*nts.

[RabidGiraffe]

 

3 - I would forget to pay tax for 10 years, signing top european players on illegal tax aviodance schemes allowing us to complete a 10 year clean sweep of domestic honours safe in the knowledge the authorities will never come looking for the return of the honours won.

 

Also, everytime a team in the league has a stand out player, buy them for a paltry sum and stick them in the reserves thereby weakening other teams without strengthening our own

[tup]

I'd negotiate a TV contract so basely unfair that no other team in the country would get shown but the Dons, every kid in Scotland would support us, and for that privilege I'd hand us 90% of the league's income generated

[Chrisyboy81]

I'd negotiate a TV contract so basely unfair that no other team in the country would get shown but the Dons, every kid in Scotland would support us, and for that privilege I'd hand us 90% of the league's income generated

Surely we wouldn't want to show us playing at home? This might affect our attendances.

[tup]

Surely we wouldn't want to show us playing at home? This might affect our attendances.

 

Sorry, aye, we need to twin ourselves with an equally repulsive club first, so that we can do alternate home and away games on telly whilst our beleagured rivals lose out on hospitality as we KO at 3am on a Monday.

[Miglo don]

When we get to a cup final I would have a designated Aberdeen end so that the old firm had to sit in the opposite end, I would also like more than 50% of the ticket allocation thus making the final basically a home game.

[Chrisyboy81]

When we get to a cup final I would have a designated Aberdeen end so that the old firm had to sit in the opposite end, I would also like more than 50% of the ticket allocation thus making the final basically a home game.

85% should suffice.

[NorthernLights24]

1. Adopted the Motherwell/Dundee approach to debt and pay off our creditors for mere pennies in the pound.

2. At the same time use the Motherwell approach of sacking players and either not paying up their contracts or offer them meagre sums.

[tup]

I'd hold the semi-final in Shetland at half eleven in the morning too.

 

Fans of other clubs are irrelevant, and should be grateful for us, we're the only thing keeping the league half-decent and ahead of the likes of the League of Wales.

 

These other clubs need us to be good, because of the co-efficient.

 

Otherwise they'll never get the opportunity to get thrashed and humiliated in the qualifying rounds of the big Euro competitions.

[Dynamo]

I'd hold the semi-final in Shetland at half eleven in the morning too.

Fans of other clubs are irrelevant, and should be grateful for us, we're the only thing keeping the league half-decent and ahead of the likes of the League of Wales.

 

These other clubs need us to be good, because of the co-efficient.

 

Otherwise they'll never get the opportunity to get thrashed and humiliated in the qualifying rounds of the big Euro competitions.

 

 

Harcus would be deligthed.

Sounds good to me too. We can just get the over nigth ferry, would be like a euro away!

[V for Vendetta]

I'd approach the other big teams across northern europe to discuss the inevitable, everyone wants it to happen, its only a matter of time North Aberdeenshire European League.

 

Of course all other Scottish teams an go feck themselves but only AFTER they agree with everyone thats its best our club moves on to more cash and TV exposure at THEIR expense.

 

After all they should be greatful we have graced their tiny wee inconsequential league for so long.

[tup]

I'd send letter bombs to managers of rival clubs who got close to us in the league, maybe some de-commissioned bullets too.

 

I'd refuse to condemn our fans if, for instance, we smashed up a civilised city on our Euro travels, for next to no reason.

 

I'd blame fans of other clubs for infilitrating ours, and say nothing when the cases came to court showing everyone of them had an AB postcode.

[Dandyesque]

It can be easily seen by our current leauge position that Scottish Football is holding us back.

 

I'd move us to the Premiership, in place of Bolton.

[V for Vendetta]

I'd employ an expensive PR firm to manipulate and bully the national press into printing what we want and only what we want.

 

This would allow us to sweep all our other nefarious activity under the carpet by means of out stranglehold on journalists.

 

Pay the PR firm to repeat the same lies often enough and even sensible folk will start to believe whats printed MUST be true.

[tup]

I'd refuse to use anything other than red pens within Pittodrie, on religious grounds.

[Dandyesque]

I'd set up a secret society that all referees had to be in, meaning they inevitably favour us with every decision.

[tup]

I'd set up a secret society that all referees had to be in, meaning they inevitably favour us with every decision.

 

boofon could help you with this.

[Dandyesque]

boofon could help you with this.

 

He already has, for all you know.

 

 

(handshake shown, not actual size)

[tup]

He already has, for all you know.

 

 

(handshake shown, not actual size)

 

I'm his brother.

[Foster14]

I'd employ peadophiles so that our youth players are constantly wary of the threat around them and therefore vision, awareness and general fitness are all improved.

[tup]

I'd employ peadophiles so that our youth players are constantly wary of the threat around them and therefore vision, awareness and general fitness are all improved.

 

Hearts have beaten us to the punch on this one

[V for Vendetta]

I'd employ peadophiles so that our youth players are constantly wary of the threat around them and therefore vision, awareness and general fitness are all improved.

 

Pissing myself.

 

How about, further to the secret society, we infiltrate the SFA and the referees association to guarantee that every single senior referee comes from aberdeen and all SFA staff are either inept spineless inebriates or dons fans.

[Iraq_Red]

We should buy our rivals 'star players' or instigate rumours we are looking to sign them in the next transfer window to our pals in the press so as to unsettle the player.

 

We sign said players thus weaking our rivals, then complain bitterly about lack of competion in the league and after we have signed them, we don't play them or sell them to an English lower league club.

[ollie1903]

I'd employ peadophiles so that our youth players are constantly wary of the threat around them and therefore vision, awareness and general fitness are all improved.

If Deano has to take one for the (youth) team, for the greater good of AFC then it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.