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The Shit That Sucked Balls In 2011


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2011 was a big, big year for shit that sucked balls... what shit sucked the most balls for you personally?


It can be personal shit that no-one else really gives a fuck about, and in fact might actually cyber-bully you about for the next ten years... or it can be monumental ball-sucking shit that made front page headlines in every country on the interwebs.


Two things stand out for me.


First, the death of Christopher Hitchens. I don't think anything has quite sucked that many balls that didn't personally affect me. It was like losing your favourite drunken uncle who also happened to be fucking awesome at destroying people you personally hate with his clever, clever words and booze and fags.


Second, the realisation that if I don't get my cock sucked in the next week or so I'll have gone through the whole of 2011 without having had my cock sucked once. That I can remember, at least. I won't say there haven't been times when I've not been so drunk on a weekend that I might have had my cock sucked and just don't remember it, but if you don't remember it then it may as well not (and probably didn't) have happened. I know no-one wants to hear about whether or not I've had my cock sucked, but the fact you're still reading at this point pretty much absolves me of any ill-feelings you may now have towards me, my cock, and its sucked/not sucked status. You didn't want to hear about it you should have stopped reading this paragraph at around word ten.


I'll also throw out an appeal to the female members of the board, and some of the better looking male members... and some of the more deviant members...


Anyway, that's my two things for 2011... Hitchens and my cock.


The floor is yours.

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The "Arab Spring" or, more accurately, the fact that the only country that got any help with it's popular uprising and desire for a new, fairer state was the only one with significant untapped oil reserves.


That really sucked balls.


It's like They have even stopped pretending it's not all about oil and money any more.

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2011 has been unmitigated and mostly unrelenting shit for me. The worst two things being




  • Floods in January fucked up the house, left us out of home for 3 weeks and without a bed for 3 months. Still have rooms closed because there's nothing in them. That night though... cops at the door at 2am saying you should evacuate. Worst sinking feeling ever.
  • (Attached to above the moment the insurance bastards said they wouldn't cover a thing)

  • My favourite uncle and absolute top top guy died later in the year. I came home for the funeral. Can't see me doing that for anyone but immediate family. The guy was brilliant.



2012 can't come soon enough and it better not be like 2011...



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