Scottish Lonely Hearts Adds

[Big Man]

Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08

 

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box 06/03

 

Male heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82

 

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian, lately rejected by long-time fiancee seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a person still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

 

Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more. Box 84/87

 

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential. Box 12/32

 

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No time wasters. Box 3/45

 

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27

 

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41

 

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm.

 

 

[fatshaft]

bit of a twat really big man eh?

[Henry]

Scottish Lonely Hearts Adds What?

[Big Man]

bit of a twat really big man eh?

 

Aye, you are mate.

 

100%

 

 

 

[Big Man]

Scottish Lonely Hearts Adds What?

 

... Fatshaft to long list of losers who can't get laid.

[fatshaft]

... Fatshaft to long list of losers who can't get laid.

I have two kids, I have therefore been laid twice.

[fatshaft]

You've only just realised this?

Nah, suspected some time ago, the "Big Man" thread confirmed it though.

[tup]

I have two kids, I have therefore been laid twice.

 

You're Colin Montgomerie are'nt you?

 

Small world indeed.

 

User on here, Paul Lawrie, PM'd me to say he hates your guts, and your perm is ridiculous.

 

I never PM'd him back, just sat on it.

[fatshaft]

You're Colin Montgomerie are'nt you?

 

Small world indeed.

 

User on here, Paul Lawrie, PM'd me to say he hates your guts, and your perm is ridiculous.

 

I never PM'd him back, just sat on it.

Monty has 3 kids

[Betty Swallicks]

Monty has 3 kids

 

 

Oh aye!

 

Niver told the wife about the other 1 did you ya dirty huffy dawg.