Ke1t Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Can't remember how the conversation started, but it transpires one of the loon's schoolfriends goes to church... I think they're Romanian Orthodox or somesuch... and they gave our laddie an invite to come along and worship their cloud-fairy at some cultish ceremony called.. let me get this right... 'The Feast of the Presentation of the Lord' on Feb 2nd. The wife asks me if it's okay if the loon goes with his little chum and I say, "Haha.. of course it's not okay, you daft cunt. What are you even thinking asking me that? No, he can't go and worship pixies like they're real things. Pull yourself together you fucking halfwit." Now without going into the finer points of the massive argument that followed, she's not okay with me banning the loon from hearing about religious fucking nonsense like zombie jews and angry fairies and big old sky-daddies who murder children. I'm not okay with it because it's utter fucking pish, and brainwashing utter fucking pish at that. As far as I'm concerned, a 5 year old kid is NOT capable of making its own mind up regarding the finer teleological points of the potentiality of a supreme being creating the universe. And, much like Santa Claus, if you tell a kid that age that such a nonsensical thing exists then the kid will, going forward, simply believe in aforementioned nonsensical invisible leprechaun, or whatever the fuck their 'god' happens to be. Probably a vampire or something, given they're Romanian. Anyway, the laddie's not going. How to ask this without you thinking I'm loading the question... Would you allow your kid, if you have one or assuming you did, to go along to church to be brainwashed into their cult, and to suffer the subsequent years of thinking that there's an all-seeing being watching everything you do and, if you fuck up even once, you're going to burn in Hell like the little fucker you are? Link to comment
looksgoodinred Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 you didn't really call your wife a half-wit, did you? Link to comment
Dandyesque Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I agree wholeheartedly, but you could just tell him it's not real. Like you eventually will with Santa Link to comment
Bobby Connor Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Kelt, you have creased me up again. I absolutely love your banter! Religious types. Fucking dicks. Link to comment
actonsheep Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 you didn't really call your wife a half-wit, did you? I'd imagine she never heard that bit.. her ears were probably still digesting the "you daft cunt". Harsh maybe, but in this case definately fair... Link to comment
dj_bollocks Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Surely you sit down with your bairn and say... "Son, going to this sort of thing every week is how you become a Celtic or Rangers fan, and neither of us want that do we ?" Job. Done. Link to comment
essex don Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Surely you sit down with your bairn and say... "Son, going to this sort of thing every week is how you become a Celtic or Rangers fan, and neither of us want that do we ?" Job. Done. this Link to comment
Ke1t Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 you didn't really call your wife a half-wit, did you? I'm paraphrasing. I let my face do most of the communicating... I was all... But then we started fighting... things were said, maybe punches were thrown. Someone might have grabbed for scissors... it was a mess. Anyway, I think what IS important to remember here is that I won... because I was right. Link to comment
Admin Bebo Posted January 21, 2012 Admin Share Posted January 21, 2012 Kelt, sit him doon and just level with him. It's a load of pish, but fucking hilarious pish. As long as he sees their ignorance as comedic value and (more importantly) gets free food, i see no problem. He's the spawn of kelt, he's already a fucking prodigy. I think you don't give him enough credit for being able to make his own mind up about how ridiculous the zombie-jesus cult is. Link to comment
Kilkito Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Just to clarify...this is not an anti pape rant, who could possibly conclude that when you keep referring to them as papes Kelt, going to church, when you're young is the most boring experience possible, if you're dead against it, Let them go, they wont want to go back. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I've been to Romania once. Quite A cool place Link to comment
RUL Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Class but id let my son go if it was with one of his friends. As you said, it's Santa esque pish but it's for kids to discover themselves, I see my role as dad as to provide cash and try and force my son into being a pro footballer, regardless of how appealing being a fireman may look! Link to comment
Betty Swallicks Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'd tell him the truth then let him hae a good laugh at the idiots at the church. Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 come to church, it's great! funerals+weddings+jumble sales "it's a boon" mrs tungsten, truro Link to comment
looksgoodinred Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 But then we started fighting... things were said, maybe punches were thrown. Someone might have grabbed for scissors... it was a mess. Anyway, I think what IS important to remember here is that I won... because I was right. not only are you left feeling you were right, but no doubt got some make-up sex too. :thumbs: not a bad day's work! Link to comment
muttondressedaslamb Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Your boy seems to be a smart cookie. Therefore I think it's time to take out some Hitchens. Reading a chapter of God is Not Great every night as he goes to bed should do the trick. And no, no kid of mine shall be going to church. Empiricism baby yeah! Link to comment
The Boofon Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Can't remember how the conversation started, but it transpires one of the loon's schoolfriends goes to church... I think they're Romanian Orthodox or somesuch... and they gave our laddie an invite to come along and worship their cloud-fairy at some cultish ceremony called.. let me get this right... 'The Feast of the Presentation of the Lord' on Feb 2nd. The wife asks me if it's okay if the loon goes with his little chum and I say, "Haha.. of course it's not okay, you daft cunt. What are you even thinking asking me that? No, he can't go and worship pixies like they're real things. Pull yourself together you fucking halfwit." Now without going into the finer points of the massive argument that followed, she's not okay with me banning the loon from hearing about religious fucking nonsense like zombie jews and angry fairies and big old sky-daddies who murder children. I'm not okay with it because it's utter fucking pish, and brainwashing utter fucking pish at that. As far as I'm concerned, a 5 year old kid is NOT capable of making its own mind up regarding the finer teleological points of the potentiality of a supreme being creating the universe. And, much like Santa Claus, if you tell a kid that age that such a nonsensical thing exists then the kid will, going forward, simply believe in aforementioned nonsensical invisible leprechaun, or whatever the fuck their 'god' happens to be. Probably a vampire or something, given they're Romanian. Anyway, the laddie's not going. How to ask this without you thinking I'm loading the question... Would you allow your kid, if you have one or assuming you did, to go along to church to be brainwashed into their cult, and to suffer the subsequent years of thinking that there's an all-seeing being watching everything you do and, if you fuck up even once, you're going to burn in Hell like the little fucker you are? My three year old daughter goes to the Salvation Army Sunday school every week and loves it. She's told stories about folk with coats of many colours and a mannie with a big boat full of animals. No different to me reading stories to her about three bears who eat porridge or three goats trying to cross a bridge with an angry troll underneath it. Salvation Army don't lay anything on thick either which is the main reason she goes to the Salvation Army church and not the screwballs you get in "regular" churches. Throw in a few songs and time spent colouring in pictures of the story they've been read and it's a happy hour for her and me. Some nice looking mothers also attend which is an added bonus. :spunk: Link to comment
muttondressedaslamb Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 My three year old daughter goes to the Salvation Army Sunday school every week and loves it. She's told stories about folk with coats of many colours and a mannie with a big boat full of animals. No different to me reading stories to her about three bears who eat porridge or three goats trying to cross a bridge with an angry troll underneath it. Salvation Army don't lay anything on thick either which is the main reason she goes to the Salvation Army church and not the screwballs you get in "regular" churches. Throw in a few songs and time spent colouring in pictures of the story they've been read and it's a happy hour for her and me. Some nice looking mothers also attend which is an added bonus. :spunk: I was brought up with the church at a young age. It wasn't Sally Army but just a church of Scotland Sunday School then Bible class when I was older. It was shit. I can't ever remembering enjoying it at all.Anyway what really annoyed and upset me was that I was really into science too as a kid. It was my mum who put me to church but my dad who got me into science, geography, astronomy and the likes. I had children's bibles and science books, telescopes, science kits, globes, atlases etc. Every Sunday I was told one thing about God and also backed up by a very religious head teacher at Primary School yet as I got older I was finding out about the big bang, evolution, the speed of light etc. At night in my bed I used to ponder these things and they would keep me awake at night, surely my mum and teachers wouldn't lie to me; but just how old is the earth; how come dinosaurs are older than when God made the universe; where do fossils come from; how did God make these mountains and so on and so on. Maybe everyone was like that, I don't know. But I know that I didn't enjoy worrying my innocent young mind about such questions. Looking back I wish my dad would have put his foot down and said no way and spent Sundays in casual clothes doing experiments together however I'm sure he just appreciated a couple of hours peace. Link to comment
Jocky Balboa Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Your boy seems to be a smart cookie. Therefore I think it's time to take out some Hitchens. Reading a chapter of God is Not Great every night as he goes to bed should do the trick. And no, no kid of mine shall be going to church. Empiricism baby yeah! Well said. Link to comment
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