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Wage-Thieves, Wasters, Wazzocks And Wankers

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The litany of absolute nobjockeys who've contributed to the decline of Aberdeen Football club is a long and depressing list indeed.


Today I was trying to remember all the fucktards and cockgoblins who've come to Aberdeen, picked up an inflated wage, and done the absolute bare minimum... in some cases considerably less than the bare minimum... to get by and continue to steal a wage.


I'm going to start us off with one particular fucking dickbiscuit that a lot of you won't have seen play, but then again a lot of you will, and he typifies the sort of unprofessional cocksocket who has contributed the square root of sweet fuck all to the club while simultaneously draining the life out of the club and not giving a flying fuck about it.


I give you this little shitweasel, a chain-smoking fatfuck who makes Darren Mackie look like a non-smoker, Andreas Meyer look like an Olympic Sprinter, and Gary McDonald look like the most industrious player on the park.


A guy signed because he once did a job of marking Paul Gascoigne, and who not only stole one wage in the form of his own wage-packet, but doubled the stakes by seeing us bring in his moustachioed, and even less capable mate, Tzvanko 'Who?' Tzvetanov.


Anyway, it's this guy...



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In that photo he looks more like Les Battersby than a so called professional footballer. Remember the days of being on school holidays and spending all day in Rileys playing snooker. He would come in, spend the whole afternoon, drinking, smoking and playing snooker then hop in his car and drive home. Total fuckin waster.

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I saw Kiriakov in one of his first games for us, a 4-0 demolition of Hearts. He was outstanding that day, completely bossed the midfield. And then he turned into an absolute arse-cockling shitcasket.


Anyway I see your chain-smoking Bulgar, and raise you one Nigel Pepper. "One Nigel Pepper", incidentally, was a song never heard during his ill-fated stay at Pittodrie. Absolute horror story of a footballer.

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Guest milne_afc

Paul Hartley, fat, minky, tramp. The game he scored three pens against Accies, he must have touched the ball, ooh, 3 times maybe. Lazy, fat, couldnae run, fat shit.

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Kelt, I have to agree with kiriakov. i remember one night when I was only 18 I think, being out out in Aberdeen wih a mate at a club, which one escapes me now, when we saw kiriakov at the bar, beer and fag in hand with some little nerdy looking geek with him. It was a strange looking pairing especially when as we approached to speak to him, said nerdy boy took on the role of bouncer and warned us that kiriakov didn't like to speak to people so we shouldnt speak to him or bother him. Not only a useless footballer but an ignorant fucker to boot.


The list of wage theives since I've been watching AFC is endless, Leon mike, d'jaffo, tommy wright, dave buus, Nigel pepper, nicky walker, Brian o'neill etc etc however I would probably say that Alex miller personally caused me the most annoyance and disgust. mind numbing, monotonous boredom like I have ever known all dressed up in a media crowned 'tactical genius'. Not the only miller to have stolen a wage from AFC but the worst as far as I'm concerned.

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Toni Koumbare has to make this list, fucking awful defender


I remember the first few times we saw him... was a good distributer of the ball given time on the ball. Unfortunately this was Scotland, and he had about half a nanosecond on the ball before someone closed him down.


"Ach," we said, "He'll be great once he learns to get rid of the ball a bit faster."


Then it became apparent that Toni was already working at his top speed, and if the rumours were to be believed, this was because he was approaching his mid 40s when he signed for us. Slower than a month of Sundays spent in a Presbytarian church in the Orkneys. Very mediocre player further crippled by his lack of any kind of mobility at all.


If we'd played against a team of sedated sloths while AK was in our defence we'd have had to play him on the goal line to give him any chance of catching whatever sedated sloth he'd been given the role of marking.


And I also suspect he was being paid a fucking MASSIVE amount of cash, given his desperation to play for a club he'd likely never heard of before. He actually refused to play any more games for his current club.. was it some Swiss mob?... until they agreed to let him sign for Aberdeen.

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