Dolphins Deserve Same Rights As Humans

[BrianFaePerth]

WTF

 

Hmm, gie them this and the fuckers will go on strike at Seaworld if they didnae get enough fish tae eat. Where would it end, poofy dolphins being allowed to marry each other?

[Patty]

Let the Dolphins themselves vote if they want the same rights as humans.

 

Then we'll see how fucking smart they are!!!

[fifered]

WTF

 

Hmm, gie them this and the fuckers will go on strike at Seaworld if they didnae get enough fish tae eat. Where would it end, poofy dolphins being allowed to marry each other?

Mind seeing a similar debate on tv one time about apes getting 'human' rights. Some folk really need to gie themselves a shake. We'd just get all the foreign dolphins coming over here taking advantage of our benefits and NHS.

[thedandydon]

'Mon the Dolphins! :thumbs:

[Dynamo]

Do female dolphins take it up the blow hole?

[Betty Swallicks]

Last dolphin to win Mastemind?

 

Cliver my erse.

[Ke1t]

Hard to gauge if a dolphin's smart or not. Their environment is hardly conducive to the creation of even a basic civilization, their physiology likewise. You can't start a fire underwater (generally) and even if they could, dolphins have no fucking hands to hold aloft a flaming torch and go, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" Like Schwarzenegger in Predator.

 

And in the scheme of starting your own civilization those are two pretty fucking spectacular drawbacks. *

 

So they could be smart, but just imagine if our own environment 1 million years ago had been as hostile to developing a civilization as an aquatic environment is, or if we lacked opposable thumbs. No way you're taking down a sabretooth if you can't hold a spear. Even eating would be a pain in the arse.... you'd have to eat like a squirrel, with your food clasped between two thumbless hands. We wouldn't even have made the stone age.

 

Walking around Detroit, I doubt there's many residents of that fine city who could so much as figure out how to jump through a hoop, let alone swim backwards or leap ten feet into the air and grab a fish on a pole. So, in that respect, Dolphins are probably smarter than some humans, and definitely more versatile.

 

So, personally, I reckon dolphins could be a fuck sight more intelligent than humans... they just fucked up when it comes to your starting point and their evolutionary path. They developed streamlined bodies and the ability to swim underwater... humans took the route of least resistance, grew kick-ass thumbs, started burning shit to the ground, started wiping out anyone who even looked like a slight threat, like Neanderthal and Homo Habilis, fuck those guys trying to steal our jobs and hunt our women or what the fuck ever... and BOOM! A fucking civilization.... meanwhile dolphins are stuck in the water, realising they've SERIOUSLY fucked up, because they can't even hold a rock to cave in a shark's skull. Dolphins are in the water looking helplessly at their ultimately useless flippers, then to the shore where dudes are just building a civilisation like a fucking BOSS, and the dolphins are all like, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

 

A million years down the line and we're pulling the bastards up in tuna nets and selling them to the Japanese.. the Japanese who'll eat practically fucking anything if it was dragged out of the sea in a tuna net...

 

...so, yeah, maybe dolphins made a couple of spectacularly bad evolutionary decisions early on, and maybe they're paying for it now, but they might not be a whole lot less intelligent than us.

 

They're just the result of bad planning on the part of their ancestors.

 

So that's what I think.

 

* Not being able to start a fire, and not having hands... those are the drawbacks, not the inability to hold aloft a flaming torch and go, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah" like Schwarzenegger in Predator. That's not a prerequisite to creating a civilisation. **

 

** Though it couldn't hurt.

[muttondressedaslamb]

Kelt you should really channel your energies into writing a book. I feel as though you are wasted here.

[dervish]

WTF

 

Hmm, gie them this and the fuckers will go on strike at Seaworld if they didnae get enough fish tae eat. Where would it end, poofy dolphins being allowed to marry each other?

 

Ohh aye how far do the Friends of Union Terrace Gardens have to go to get a vote on their side...

[dervish]

Hard to gauge if a dolphin's smart or not. Their environment is hardly conducive to the creation of even a basic civilization, their physiology likewise. You can't start a fire underwater (generally) and even if they could, dolphins have no fucking hands to hold aloft a flaming torch and go, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" Like Schwarzenegger in Predator.

 

And in the scheme of starting your own civilization those are two pretty fucking spectacular drawbacks. *

 

So they could be smart, but just imagine if our own environment 1 million years ago had been as hostile to developing a civilization as an aquatic environment is, or if we lacked opposable thumbs. No way you're taking down a sabretooth if you can't hold a spear. Even eating would be a pain in the arse.... you'd have to eat like a squirrel, with your food clasped between two thumbless hands. We wouldn't even have made the stone age.

 

Walking around Detroit, I doubt there's many residents of that fine city who could so much as figure out how to jump through a hoop, let alone swim backwards or leap ten feet into the air and grab a fish on a pole. So, in that respect, Dolphins are probably smarter than some humans, and definitely more versatile.

 

So, personally, I reckon dolphins could be a fuck sight more intelligent than humans... they just fucked up when it comes to your starting point and their evolutionary path. They developed streamlined bodies and the ability to swim underwater... humans took the route of least resistance, grew kick-ass thumbs, started burning shit to the ground, started wiping out anyone who even looked like a slight threat, like Neanderthal and Homo Habilis, fuck those guys trying to steal our jobs and hunt our women or what the fuck ever... and BOOM! A fucking civilization.... meanwhile dolphins are stuck in the water, realising they've SERIOUSLY fucked up, because they can't even hold a rock to cave in a shark's skull. Dolphins are in the water looking helplessly at their ultimately useless flippers, then to the shore where dudes are just building a civilisation like a fucking BOSS, and the dolphins are all like, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

 

A million years down the line and we're pulling the bastards up in tuna nets and selling them to the Japanese.. the Japanese who'll eat practically fucking anything if it was dragged out of the sea in a tuna net...

 

...so, yeah, maybe dolphins made a couple of spectacularly bad evolutionary decisions early on, and maybe they're paying for it now, but they might not be a whole lot less intelligent than us.

 

They're just the result of bad planning on the part of their ancestors.

 

So that's what I think.

 

* Not being able to start a fire, and not having hands... those are the drawbacks, not the inability to hold aloft a flaming torch and go, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah" like Schwarzenegger in Predator. That's not a prerequisite to creating a civilisation. **

 

** Though it couldn't hurt.

 

If they are the zenith of evolution then why are they so tasty?

[The Oxford Don]

They can't be any thicker than the average Radio One DJ.

 

It's a yes from me.

[Ke1t]

If they are the zenith of evolution then why are they so tasty?

 

How do you know humans aren't just as delicious?

[dervish]

How do you know humans aren't just as delicious?

 

Shouldn't we do this on pm?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3WlRKZ1l8I

 

Nom nom nom

[Ke1t]

Kelt you should really channel your energies into writing a book. I feel as though you are wasted here.

 

I'm currently trying... but I need a casual's muscle on the project.

[Ke1t]

this is what gets me about us saying thing like "ah, but theyre not intelligent as they cant start fires,

 

 

Yeah, but that's not what I'm saying.

 

I'm saying they can't manifest their intelligence in the form of what we would recognise as a civilisation, because one of the prerequisites to civilisation is fire. I wasn't saying that dolphins are dumb because they can't make fire, I said they're unfortunate to be in an environment where they can't make fire.

 

Even Bear Grylls couldn't start a fire under water, that doesn't mean he's thick.

 

 

fires and broadband are important to us, not dolphins

 

If you want to create a civilisation as we know it then fire is essential to any species, be that humans, dolphins or Huns.

 

show a dolphin a flame or a fibre connection and theyd have no clue what it is, purely because they dont need to know

 

likewise, if we seen 2 things a dolphin did down there, we'd have no idea what it was either

 

Can't imagine dolphins do a whole lot more than fuck, fight, shit and eat.... and I'm pretty sure I'd recognise those.

[tainboy]

Ok. I'll show a dolphin a tuna net. Not so fucking smart now are they?!??

[Ke1t]

but everything youve argued there, fighting fire with fire, if you will...is from your own perspective

 

civilsation as WE know it

 

 

they will have their own version of what we think civilisation is

 

While I think it extremely unlikely that dolphins have anything other than a nomadic, non-tech, society, I've never argued that they couldn't have something that might qualify as civilisation on an entirely different set of principles.

 

That's why I expressly said "What we would recognise as civilisation.

 

I can't really imagine what kind of civilisation lacks tools, writing, basic manufacturing or organised, concentrated populations, however.... without those things you're basically a herd of animals.

[dervish]

They are quite enlightened keen on a bit of the gay sex, incest and rape. So like us.

[Dynamo]

Since when have dolphins not needed broadband?

[The Boofon]

yep and theres your problem

 

maybe its as that are thick, clapping ourselves on the back like morons for what we regard as revolutionary inventions, whereas theyre observing us thinking were a bunch of yahoos

 

You've been down this road before Miller with Killer Whales and I believe you took a beating in that thread.

 

Maybe I'm mistaken.

 

Harcus will help me find out.

[BrianFaePerth]

yep and theres your problem

 

maybe its as that are thick, clapping ourselves on the back like morons for what we regard as revolutionary inventions, whereas theyre observing us thinking were a bunch of yahoos

 

 

and while doing so they swim in to the nets of Japanese fishing boats.

 

1-0 tae the humans

[Crossbow]

until they start paying taxes they shouldn't be allowed the same rights

 

although of course, no taxation without representation

[Dynamo]

A dolphin surfing the net.

 

 

I feel sorry for it though. They're doing no harm. Leave them be.

[BrianFaePerth]

some humans dont have accidents?

 

 

Point me in the direction of the details of the last human that was trawled oot of the sea by the Japanese, and eh'll admit defeat

[BrianFaePerth]

A dolphin surfing the net.

 

 

 

:laughing:

[daytripping]

I'm currently trying... but I need a casual's muscle on the project.

 

PM me!

[Henry]

You've been down this road before Miller with Killer Whales and I believe you took a beating in that thread.

 

Maybe I'm mistaken.

 

Harcus will help me find out.

 

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=afc+chat+killer+whales

 

It's the Kelt thread.

[daytripping]

The dolphins at Aqualand in Tenerife put on quite a show, I'd like to see a human try to jump a 20 foot net with a football on its nose.

[BrianFaePerth]

all relative though, which is my whole point entirely

 

show me the last dolphin to fall off a platform at a train station and get smacked by a train?

 

But a human could physically get in the ocean and get fished oot, a dolphin couldnae get to a train station.

[King Street Loon]

Point me in the direction of the details of the last human that was trawled oot of the sea by the Japanese, and eh'll admit defeat

 

Probably a victim of the Tsunami