Biting Ma Fuckin' Tongue

[Ke1t]

So, some friends of the family live out in Teuchy-ville here in Michigan. An auld lad and lass in their 70s, who were born at the tail end of the Great Depression or thereabouts... they live.. lived... in a farmhouse built probably circa the American Civil War, and they shunned all sorts of modern stuff.

 

They lived pretty simply, almost like the Amish, in fact. I don't think they had electricity, they don't have cell phones, don't use banks... all their cash under the mattress sort of thing..

 

...anyway, their house just blew up.

 

I'm not exaggerating for effect.. I'm not talking about a chip pan fire or an accident with a space heater that resulted in a scorch on the carpet, no, their fucking house blew up. Boom. Gas leak apparently.

 

So, anyway, I'm looking at the links and facebooks and stuff, and virtually every comment says, "OH, the poor dears! Lucky that GOD was there to save them, eh?" and "God PROTECTED THEM! PRAISE THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF JESUS FOR THAT!"

 

And I'm thinking, well, if God took it upon himself to save them then why the fuck didn't he just stop the gas leak? That way he'd STILL have saved them AND they'd have somewhere to live because, you know, their fucking house wouldn't be a pile of smouldering fucking rubble. And I know it would be in bad taste to start a fight with these stupid cunts, but I've had a few Jack and Cokes, and I'm really fucking struggling to bite my tongue with these fuckers.

 

Ooooh, God SAVED you! He blew your fucking house to pieces, of course, but wasn't it NICE of God to save you and shit? Fucking TELL HIM HOW GRATEFUL YOU ARE! HE SAVED YOU.. and blew up your house... BUT HE FUCKING SAVED YOU! NOW GO LIVE IN A FUCKING TENT! PRAISE BE TO GOD!"

 

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm a little bit drunk and posting here might let off enough steam that I don't start a fight with a bunch of people we infrequently see.

[tutankamun]

Insurance job?

 

Maybe a bit extreme...

 

Anyway Kelt, no point arguing with god fearers/botherers, YOU CANNOT WIN!

 

They will make any kind of excuse, twist any fact to show that their chosen god is great and everything that happens (good or bad) is 'God's will'

 

I don't envy you living in the US of A, they seem to be a bit mental when it comes to religion.

[tommo1903]

Only the weak don't say what they really feel. Especially on the internetz.

[looksgoodinred]

save your breath.

shut down facebook for the night and go get another drink.

[Ke1t]

Only the weak don't say what they really feel. Especially on the internetz.

 

I prefer the term 'diplomatic' :thumbs:

[Ke1t]

save your breath.

shut down facebook for the night and go get another drink.

 

I have a system of refilling whereby there's no point at which the glass empties

 

This system involves a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Coke sitting no more than a couple of feet from me at all times.

[looksgoodinred]

I have a system of refilling whereby there's no point at which the glass empties

 

This system involves a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Coke sitting no more than a couple of feet from me at all times.

 

what about ice?

[tutankamun]

I'm gonna start a new religion called 'The Church of the Latter Day Millertimes'.

 

In times of adversity, ask yourself 'what would Millertime do?'.

 

Then do the opposite.

[Ke1t]

what about ice?

 

You don't put ice in whisky, m'dear... we're not barbarians, are we?

 

The Coke is oot the fridge.

[Ke1t]

I'm gonna start a new religion called 'The Church of the Latter Day Millertimes'.

 

In times of adversity, ask yourself 'what would Millertime do?'.

 

Then do the opposite.

 

I'm an ordained meenister of some online church.. I had planned to break away and start my own religious sect, the First United Church of Kelt.

[looksgoodinred]

You don't put ice in whisky, m'dear... we're not barbarians, are we?

 

The Coke is oot the fridge.

 

i think i may be then. i do.

[TheChimp]

Argue the point, and if they disagree, kick them in the fud. Or cock. Whichever is fine.

[Ke1t]

i think i may be then. i do.

 

Do you WANT to anaesthetise your papillae?

 

[looksgoodinred]

 

i'll just go sit in the corner now. clink my ice cubes. and play with my tits.

[Liam]

I'm gonna start a new religion called 'The Church of the Latter Day Millertimes'.

 

In times of adversity, ask yourself 'what would Millertime do?'.

 

Then do the opposite.

superb idea

[Coopy100]

You don't put ice in whisky, m'dear... we're not barbarians, are we?

 

The Coke is oot the fridge.

you also don't drink whisky with coke. You do drink whiskey with coke though. Still at least you don't need to put up with sport relief so silver linings and all that.

[tommo1903]

Jack Daniels isn't that good.

[Ke1t]

you also don't drink whisky with coke.

 

Unfortunately I pretty much fucked my stomach drinking bottles of cheap whisky as a young 'un, so I'm forced to dilute my favoured vice with a dash of coke...

 

Needs must as the thingy thingies, as they say.

 

But I shall go sit in the corner, pour my coke, and play with.. my balls I guess

[Ke1t]

Jack Daniels isn't that good.

 

Hah.. one day I'll take the time to explain subjectivity to you

[tommo1903]

Hah.. one day I'll take the time to explain subjectivity to you

 

Im a Jim Beam, Makers Mark man.

[Coopy100]

Unfortunately I pretty much fucked my stomach drinking bottles of cheap whisky as a young 'un, so I'm forced to dilute my favoured vice with a dash of coke...

 

Needs must as the thingy thingies, as they say.

 

But I shall go sit in the corner, pour my coke, and play with.. my balls I guess

aye but jd isn't whisky it's whiskey

[RUL]

Jack is muchos superior to jim...

 

Yanks are always on about god eh? Every good thing god is praised but nobody ever blames god for fuck all.

 

Must be a woman, they are never to blame

[Bobby Connor]

God is a prankster. Probably bored on a quiet Friday night in. He blew their house up, but overall he's nae a bad cunt, so he 'saved' them.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7DGtyipFJ0

[CrazyBullSheep]

Is it not a bit ironic that you sit there drinking JD telling us about these daft twats and yet JD is distilled in tennessee one of the most godly states in the US (please correct me if I am havering shite) So basically God makes JD (maybe)