The Downstairs Neighbours

[Bobby Connor]

I've no idea how your average man in the street can tolerate sharing their building with anyone. It's degrading.

[muttondressedaslamb]

My Iranian neighbours cook smelly food.

 

Could have sworn they were boiling puke the other night.

[Ke1t]

I've no idea how your average man in the street can tolerate sharing their building with anyone. It's degrading.

 

Flats are a pain in the arse. No matter how much you get it looking just the way you want it, the atmos is fucked by having people living above, below and alongside you, like a shiny new tenement. And they're invariably all insufferable fuckheads apart from the Polish bird, but her lad looks like he spent 20 years in the hardest fucking prison in Siberia, and if he catches you gawking at her tits there's no doubting that he'll be breaking into your place at 3 in the morning and cutting your throat.

 

Anyway... get a hoose. that's my philosophy.

[Bobby Connor]

Surely if they're in the street then they aren't sharing with anyone?

 

Stop coming the clever cunt Bri. Being a weegie dweller you'll have spent you entire life sharing your bed with 13 other minks.

 

For the likes of me, having neighbours is distressing.

[muttondressedaslamb]

I've got junkies for neighbours and had an attempted break in but the folk in my block are absolutely brilliant. Some old folk who look after all the repairs and do the cleaning. Suits me to a tee.

[NorthernLights24]

I've no idea how your average man in the street can tolerate sharing their building with anyone. It's degrading.

 

You need this game...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_ifGC7Gvpw

 

I wonder how long before it would drive your downstairs neighbour mental.

[Bobby Connor]

I've got junkies for neighbours and had an attempted break in but the folk in my block are absolutely brilliant. Some old folk who look after all the repairs and do the cleaning. Suits me to a tee.

 

Sounds amazing but I'll go for the detached house in the country, with no minky, loud or potentially weegie neighbours.

 

Just got to start saving...

[Bobby Connor]

I've got a gay couple in the flat next door, a lad from Thailand and his lover.

 

Friendly enough, but some fairly strange noises come from their flat, almost like a dog yelping even though they don't have a dog. Then every Sunday morning without fail when he's cleaning the close, there's a cry of "Max daaaaarling!" or something along those lines.

 

So far declined their invites to pop in for one of their "special stiry-frys"

 

Neighbours are generally ok though considering it's a flat and it's in Glasgow.

 

Sounds ideal (for yourself).

[Ke1t]

I've got a gay couple in the flat next door, a lad from Thailand and his lover.

 

Friendly enough, but some fairly strange noises come from their flat, almost like a dog yelping even though they don't have a dog.

 

That'll just be them fucking :thumbs:

[Ando]

I live in a well la-di-dah part of Greater London. Well leafy and full of expensive German automobiles every way you turn. Unfortunately I'm relatively skint and merely renting a flat in said area, with upstairs neighbours. Being as I'm a noisy, music-&-alcohol-loving type, I guess that makes me the cunt neighbour in this otherwise blissful suburban set-up :thumbs:

[Bobby Connor]

I live in a well la-di-dah part of Greater London. Well leafy and full of expensive German automobiles every way you turn. Unfortunately I'm relatively skint and merely renting a flat in said area, with upstairs neighbours. Being as I'm a noisy, music-&-alcohol-loving type, I guess that makes me the cunt neighbour in this otherwise blissful suburban set-up :thumbs:

 

That's not my take at all Ando min. I blame myself for A. Being a cunt to my ex and B. Moving into the big smoke (lots of people from Inverness are convinced it's actually a city).

[Ando]

That's not my take at all Ando min. I blame myself for A. Being a cunt to my ex and B. Moving into the big smoke (lots of people from Inverness are convinced it's actually a city).

 

Hmmm don't talk to me about being a cunt to an ex, I'd be in a whole different (superior) domestic situation right now had I not had a total spazz out not so long ago about things which, in hindsight, really weren't that important after all

[bonzodaddy73]

Still makes me laugh when folk call it a city. The place us going all to fuck in my opinion. I read somewhere that there are over 5000 Poles living in the (city).

Anyway I live in a tree house and have a noisey bastard owl living in the tree next to me.

[bonzodaddy73]

Fuck your ex's lads. It wasn't meant to be.

Onwards and upwards..

[spamspamspam]

Back in my days of living in the war zone I had the top floor flat in a 6 block.

 

There was a alchy across the hall, a very useful grass dealer one floor down who had the wife beater across from him. A smack head in the bottom and a 16 year old mother of 2 across from them.

 

No fucking way could I deal with that sort of shenanigans these days like. Used to have to give the wife beater monthly beatings outside the local shop. He had the cheek to complain about the noise I was making during my Friday night party hen I had to listen to him kicking the shit out of his missus all week. The coppers were no use there either, used to just tell you to sort it out yourself and get on with it. Had a motorbike nicked from outside my flat, heard it being thrashed for 3 days in the fields not 5 minutes from mine. Called the cops to be told not to hurt him, much. Needless to say when I handed him over with 6 broken fingers and a busted nose the coppers just said "fallen off the bike mate"

[Bobby Connor]

Hmmm don't talk to me about being a cunt to an ex, I'd be in a whole different (superior) domestic situation right now had I not had a total spazz out not so long ago about things which, in hindsight, really weren't that important after all

 

Ya ken what's the most mental bit? The hole that was on a plate every night becomes attractive because it's forbidden fruit. That is fucked up.

[Ando]

Back in my days of living in the war zone I had the top floor flat in a 6 block.

 

There was a alchy across the hall, a very useful grass dealer one floor down who had the wife beater across from him. A smack head in the bottom and a 16 year old mother of 2 across from them.

 

No fucking way could I deal with that sort of shenanigans these days like. Used to have to give the wife beater monthly beatings outside the local shop. He had the cheek to complain about the noise I was making during my Friday night party hen I had to listen to him kicking the shit out of his missus all week. The coppers were no use there either, used to just tell you to sort it out yourself and get on with it. Had a motorbike nicked from outside my flat, heard it being thrashed for 3 days in the fields not 5 minutes from mine. Called the cops to be told not to hurt him, much. Needless to say when I handed him over with 6 broken fingers and a busted nose the coppers just said "fallen off the bike mate"

 

Okay, having reconsidered things, I'm actually really quite happy with my current set-up, previous-relationship-regrets notwithstanding

[Ando]

Ya ken what's the most mental bit? The hole that was on a plate every night becomes attractive because it's forbidden fruit. That is fucked up.

 

On a plate? Meh. Not there any more? Fucking nectar.

[bonzodaddy73]

Ya ken what's the most mental bit? The hole that was on a plate every night becomes attractive because it's forbidden fruit. That is fucked up.

C'Mon BC snap out of it man. If she wandered in the door right now it wouldn't work. I see what your saying though.

[Bobby Connor]

C'Mon BC snap out of it man. If she wandered in the door right now it wouldn't work. I see what your saying though.

 

 

Good advice.

[Bobby Connor]

On a plate? Meh. Not there any more? Fucking nectar.

 

Exactly.

[Ke1t]

Never go a second time around with a bird.

 

Never.

[bonzodaddy73]

Never go a second time around with a bird.

 

Never.

Absolutely correct kelt, Doomed to fail.

[tutankamun]

Never go a second time around with a bird.

 

Never.

 

Are you speaking from experience? I'd never even considered that before.

[Ke1t]

Are you speaking from experience? I'd never even considered that before.

 

Nossir... I've never done the whole 'getting back together' thing.

 

You get one shot at Kelt, ladies. Blow it and... well, that's a good start.

 

But mess up and you can look forward to a life of dullards, wankers, poofs and English.

 

I'm not a bad lad, though. When a Kelt relationship goes south, I always tell the lassie they have my blessing to think about me any time their future lads/husbands are shagging them. They're going to do it anyway, but it doesn't hurt to make it official.

 

[Chappit Neeps]

Effing hated my time in a flat. Just off George Street and had students below and a 'nae-righter' next door.

Students loved a party...every feckin night so after going down to suggest 'some of us have jobs to get up for' I woke up to find a carpet rolled up against the door. That was it, it was then my life aim to a) move and b) make that f*ckers life hell till i did so. I started by putting said rolled up carpet up against the door...pish soaked mind. 6.30am up for work and the tunes would be on, speakers face down on the floor, bass booming. He ended up on the same night out as me one night...a mate of a mate it turned out, i lost the heed at him and his mates asked what was going on then THEY called him an inconsiderate prick and that was that.

[chaos_defrost]

You only realize how good things are once they're gone but that's life! Would never go back to an ex, if it doesn't work out the first time, it's for a reason and when it gets to the point where you think to yourself you're going to make an effort to change then you should just accept that it's doomed and move on.

[spamspamspam]

Got back with an ex once...

 

She cheated on me with someone I knew, I sacked her, she shacked up with the guy she cheated on me with, they got engaged, she went on hen night, I met up with her, shagged the shit out of her.

 

Well, once a cheater always a cheater so they say.

 

Serves the cunt right for shagging her behind my back in the first place.

 

Still can't stand the wench but I do have some satisfaction knowing that my wee sailers were probably just oozing out when she said I do.

 

EDIT: I'll add, this saga is how I ended up in the flat in the war zone but, like my William Wallace ale, I'm not bitter. I'm now with a tidy wee thing, have 1 house, away to buy another and all in all LG :thumbs:

[BrianFaePerth]

Thanks to the free availability of Norwegian tax records, eh ken that oor neighbour but one is a

[minijc]

Don't have a flat but one of my close mates has recently got one which has a roof terrace, we've been having heaps of fun on it, thankfully most his neighbours are either younger types that work or students who don't give a shit, he also has two stunning birds up the stairs from him, I imagine on a friday and saturday we are not loved that much though due to noise levels.