Amicus Apple Last Night

[Big Man]

I was at that Amicus Apple on Langstane Place last night.

 

Nice place like, but rammed full of undesirables. There was this one cunt in particular, stood at the bar by himself, ordering quadruple vodka and lemonades i think it was. He must of been about 30. Anyway, he was making a right nuisance of himself; telling racist jokes and trying look up all the lassies skirts.

 

 

The barman notices everyone is getting pissed off with this fella so he signals over to the bouncer, pointing at the guy.

 

The bouncer appears instantaneously. ''Excuse me sir, i'm afraid i'll have to ask you to leave'' (in a foreign accent)

 

 

So the guy gets escorted outside, but his mate takes exception to this and starts having a go at the bouncers. The bouncers, ever the professionals, calmly and quietly restrain the guy. But it doesn't end there, because the wummin he was with (who was out of her skull as well) tries to intervene in proceedings, but to no avail.

 

 

Next thing you know, the bouncers are radioing for assistance from Grampian filth and the three culprits start to scarper. Just as he's about to flee, the vodka and lemonade guy trips over his laces and smashes his heid off the pavement. I'd wager he'll have a hell of a swelling on his head this morning...

 

 

Anyway, what a shithole. I won't be going back to Amicus Apple anytime soon. I hope every single one of those drunks is arrested and locked up. Shocking place!!!!!!

[minijc]

You are a sad, unfunny, boring cunt.

[Moorie86]

You are a sad cunt.

 

You not due a spit the dummie moment soon?

[Big Man]

I wrote it as a joke for Oddjob. It was meant in good humour. I think maybe you need to calm down Niall.

[The Boofon]

I liked it.

[Bobby Connor]

It raised a chuckle for me BM.

[dervish]

I had a wee laugh too.

 

EDIT:Oops accidental -1 meant to +1(can you cancel it?).

[robbo]

i laughed too. glad i read OJs one first now or id be totally lost

[Henry]

I did not enjoy it.

[redsparrow]

i laughed too. glad i read OJs one first now or id be totally lost

 

Aye, ditto. Mrs enjoyed it aswell, some folk just need to lighten up.