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Think Your Life Is Messed Up?


Karl Fletcher

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From that website, Reddit. Source

 

His life is currently falling apart due to son's fixation with molesting the family dog :blink:

 

Orginal Post: I think my son is sodomizing the dog

 

 

ok, for obvious reasons this is a throwaway account.

 

So, I'm not even sure how to start here. The last couple of weeks my dog (7 year old lab) has been acting noticeably different. I guess I could describe it as "distant" and even depressed. He is normally an extremely outgoing and happy dog, very playful and energetic etc. But starting about 2 weeks ago he started acting very withdrawn and nervous around people, even his own family. At first I kind of brushed it off as feeling under the weather, but after about a week and a half I decided maybe he needed to see a vet.

 

I got him in yesterday and after an examination the vet told me that he believes the dog has been sodomized. His anus had slight damage in a way that was consistent with that sort of thing. He said he can't really imagine that his injuries could have come about any other way. So already now I'm pretty upset and sort of freaking out. Who would do this sort of thing to a dog?

 

I thought about all of the people that had access to the dog and my back yard. Garderners crossed my mind, my neighbors, etc. The only people that live in the house are my wife, myself, and our teenaged son. I came home and thought about it for a while. I had this really ugly sinking feeling in my stomach about the possibilty that it could have been my son. I decided to look around his room.

 

I didn't really know what I was expecting to find, and I didn't really find anything in there that screamed guilty, until I decided to check his browser history. I found he had been on a beastiality forum recently and a site with pictures of that sort of thing. I felt like I was going to throw up.

 

Now I know that this isn't definitive proof of anything, but it sure doesn't look good. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced my son has been sodomizing our dog. I haven't told my wife yet or done anything about it. I have NOT left him alone with the dog since. I am totally confused and upset and don't really know how to proceed with this.

 

Reddit, please, please help!

 

TL;DR Vet says my dog has been sodomized, found some suggestive bestiality material on sons computer, suspecting my son sodomized family dog.

 

EDIT - Thank you for all your advice to those of you who are serious. I understand this seems like a joke to some of you but it's not to me, so for those of you that gave real advice, thank you. I think I'm going to take your advice and confront him about it privately, without involving my wife. It is not going to be an easy conversation but it has to happen. My only worry is the possibility that he isn't guilty of this and somebody else did it. I guess then we still need to talk about what I found on his computer anyways. Ugh. FML. Thank you for being there for me Reddit

 

EDIT 2 - Ok, my son just got home. I'm going to have the conversation with him when I can get a moment alone and I will come back and let you guys know what happened

 

EDIT 3 - Ok, just spoke to my son. Before I get into our talk, let me quickly say thank you all again for your incredible advice and support, there were a lot of really really helpful suggestions in here, and I took some of your advice. Anyways, our family had dinner and did our usual night time stuff. My wife and I watched TV, son was in his room after dinner like all teenagers are, and dog, obviously, was with me.

 

I waited for my wife to go to bed, which felt like forever because I was so nervous, but she finally did about an hour ago and I went into my sons room to have the talk. I basically said listen, I noticed the dog has been acting weird, I took him to the vet, I found out someone has sodomized him, any ideas what might have happened? I looked at my son and he seemed ever so slightly nervous but pretended to know nothing about it. I expected this, so I brought up the sites I found on his computer. Naturally, this made him pretty upset and he got really indignant at the thought that I snooped around on his computer. Fair enough, I get it. But I got him back to the point and tried to be as understanding and fatherly as I could and just told him that whatever happened I am not going to judge him and he's not going to be punished I just need to know the truth.

 

After about 10-15 minutes of this he finally breaks down and admits that he put the handle of a hairbrush as well as fingers into the dog a few times during a day last week. He said he wasn't trying to hurt him and he stopped when the dog at one point freaked out. He said he didn't think he hurt it that bad and he was too embarrassed to tell us or do anything about it. I believed him in this, but he also didn't give a very satisfactory answer as to why exactly he would do this in the first place. I have to admit, either way, I was glad on some level to hear that he wasn't actually having sex with the dog.

 

So basically, we agreed that I wouldn't tell his mom, but that we would find a reason to tell her that he needs to see a therapist for a bit. i know I told him I wouldn't tell his mother, but the more I think about all of this the more I think I may eventually have to go back on that promise. As for now, the dog is staying with the family, and obviously I made him swear up and down that he will not touch the dog like that again under threat of severe consequences. It's too early to tell if he feels remorse or is just humiliated. It's hard to say. It was very uncomfortable for both of us, but especially my son. I'm sure we can all imagine.

 

Thank you all again so incredibly much for your support, advice, understanding, and love for both the dog and my son. I have to admit, some of you even made me laugh at a few things I didn't want to. Thanks again Reddit.

 

EDIT 4 - Due to the outpouring of concern and help from you guys I will update in a week or so and let you know what's happened. Today I located a therapist that specializes in teenagers, I made a preliminary appointment for my son to go in and talk to her. I disclosed to her some of the issues, without getting into too much detail. For now my son does not know this, but it will be a helpful for her to have some idea of what we're dealing with. My dog is still not in the best of spirits, but seems to be making progress. I went for a walk with him today and he was more playful than he has been the past week. I've been trying to be extra good to him as well and the love seems to be helping slowly bring the happiness back into his eyes.

 

Can't say I'm still not a little peeved about what happened, but I feel like to show my son that I am too upset might be damaging right now. I think we just need to find out why he thought this was ok. As for the brush handle, some of you bring up a good point. I should ask him to throw whichever brush that is away. For some reason, that didn't even cross my mind. Yikes. Anyways, I'll give you all an update on the situation in a week. Thanks again.

 

 

 

Update: He admitted it, he's done it again!! :wtf:

 

 

 

Alright, well reddit helped me a lot last time, maybe you guys can do it again. Here's the original post about my discovery that my son had abused our family dog.

 

Long story short, 2 months ago I took my dog Colby to the vet after he was acting weird. The vet determined the dog may have been sodomized. After a lot of thought, I checked the browser history on my sons computer and found he had been viewing pictures of bestiality and seemed to be active in a forum about it. I confronted him and he admitted to sodomizing our dog with the handle of a hairbrush and his fingers.

 

After asking reddit for help, I decided to put him in therapy and not let my wife know about the issue and tell her he just wanted to talk to somebody professionally.

 

Well this morning I caught my son in the backyard holding onto Colby's genitals while playing tug of war with him. Granted this isn't sodomization and the dog seemed to be ok, but my son was basically grabbing and massaging the dogs privates as he held him in place under the guise of a tug of war game.

 

Obviously I stormed outside and grabbed him in anger and we had a VERY serious and angry talk. He had promised me to never treat the dog in any remotely inappropriate way after our last incident. I put him in his room for the rest of the day. My wife is still at work, and I do not know what to do. I am at my wits end. Apparently, therapy has not been working.

 

Reddit? How do I deal with this? I think I have to tell my wife now, which is not exciting since she has been in the dark about the sodomizing incident for 2 months. I.. am not sure how to deal with all of this.

 

You guys really helped me last time, any advice is appreciated! Thank you!

 

 

TL;DR - My son molested our dog Colby again, not sure what to do.

 

UPDATE Ok, well that didn't go so well. My wife got home not too long after I put this up. I told her pretty much right off the bat that I messed up pretty bad and that I found out 2 months ago that our son had admitted to me he sodomized the dog with a hairbrush handle and his fingers. I told her that this was why I had wanted him in therapy and that he wasn't comfortable with her knowing and I made him a fatherly promise under the condition he never do anything like that again.

 

 

Needless to say she was pretty shocked and upset. Then I told her what I saw today and she got even more upset. It went from a few minutes of anger to tears. She is pretty pissed off at me and pretty upset about our son and Colby, obviously. I feel like shit at this point for having kept her in the dark. She told me she felt very betrayed and after calling me some choice names and saying she was confused she grabbed her purse and just left the house. I have no idea where she went, but I didn't try to stop her. She was very, very upset. I feel like the worst husband/father in the world right now.

 

I went in to speak to my son and he was pretty unhappy too since he could hear everything (obviously was in no hurry to come out of his room for that). He isn't very happy that I told his mom about today and the incident before but after speaking with him briefly I think he understands that it was necessary.

 

So basically my family was torn apart today over a dog. I need a beer or something. As for re-housing the dog, I suspect we'll probably have to do that, but there's a lot we need to sort through first. I'm sure there is an uncomfortable family meeting in our future. Thanks for the advice and for being there reddit.

 

UPDATE 2 Wow... front page. Thanks for the outpouring of support. I hope nobody I know is a redditor... didn't quite expect this to get so big, hahaha. Well, anyways, my wife is still gone. I tried to call her on her cell just one time and she didn't pick up, so I got the message. I've just been in the yard with Colby on the computer having a beer. This is crazy. I wish fatherhood/marriage came with a guidebook. I guess reddit is kind of close, right? Well except for the odd people saying "re-home the son" and all of those super... helpful... suggestions. I'll keep you updated as the night goes on. Hopefully my wife actually does return at some point.

 

As for my son, all he's done is make a hotpocket and go back to his room. Basically just being a teenager in trouble.

 

 

EDIT - Since a lot of you are curious, my son is 15 years old. I posted this in a comment in the original thread, I thought I had included it in the main post but I realize I did not. Hope that helps.

 

Update 3 - Ok, well, my wife called me to say she is staying at her sisters house tonight to clear her head. She has calmed down a bit but said she doesn't think she can handle all of this tonight. I said I understood and apologized again profusely for not telling her sooner. I tried to explain what another redditor mentioned about how the first incident was a weird male adolescent sexual thing and he was embarrassed and thought he could confide in me and trust me.

 

She was pretty unmoved by that argument and thinks I should've told her. I guess i was wrong. When we got off the phone I said "I love you" and she just hung up. This is probably up there as my worst day in recent memory, at least since the day I found out my son sodomized my dog the first time. As for my son, I have seen no sign of him since he made his hotpocket, however for about 40 minutes now I've been hearing what I am guessing is 'dubstep' coming from his room. I don't know. I'm too old to even want to know.

 

Colby will sleep in my room tonight, and tomorrow hopefully the wife will be calm enough to discuss what to do with him. She loves that dog a lot, I am not sure how she is going to want to move forward with all of this. For my part, I can already think of 2 families we know that would probably be happy to take the Colbster.

 

Jesus what a day. Thanks reddit.

 

 

 

Update 2: Wife blames man, family falls apart

 

 

A lot of Redditors were very supportive and helpful with this delicate situation, and I received many letters offering to take in our dog Colby after the second incident, it was really touching to have so many people reach out.

 

I have also gotten a lot of messages asking for an update on what has happened since the last post. Well, a hell of a lot has happened to my family since then, and none of it has been very good. Basically after hiding the first incident from my wife, I felt obligated to tell her about it when I caught my son sexually abusing Colby again. Turns out not telling her the first time around was probably the worst decision I have ever made.

 

My wife did not take the news well at all. As I mentioned in my last post, she left the house to stay with her sister for a few days, and wouldn't pick up my calls. The breach of trust and the fact that I hid something so serious from her really pissed her off. To be honest, our marriage has already been pretty rocky the last year or two, for reasons I'd prefer not to get into. So this was just one more bump in the road that our relationship really didn't need.

 

To be fair, I was only trying to be a good father to my son, and I thought I could keep the initial incident between him and I to protect him from further humiliation. It would have been ok if he had kept his word that he would not abuse the dog ever again, unfortunately he did not and I had to involve his mom. Admittedly, I should have just done that from the beginning.

 

So after staying at her sisters house for a few days my wife came home and we got into several arguments over the next week or so about our son and what to do about this, and of course there was plenty of me being painted as the bad guy for not including her on a major parenting issue.

 

I decided to take Reddits advice that we should start looking for a new home for Colby, since he obviously wasn't going to be safe with us anymore. My wife did not like this idea, and after several more arguments I come to find out that she suspects our son never even abused the dog to begin with. She tells me that she has spoken to our son about it and he denied ever doing anything.

 

So basically I had my son denying he ever sodomized the dog, and my wife now pissed off because she is hearing two conflicting stories from us. She even brought up in the heat of our argument that she thinks if anything I sodomized the dog, which as you can imagine made me absolutely furious.

 

So to make a long story short, we did not resolve anything, and have only become more embittered with eachother. This, along with a few other marital issues, finally led to my wife asking for a trial separation about 3 weeks ago. My son has decided to live with her, and so I have moved out to a friends house temporarily while I try to figure out what we are going to do next.

 

I know you guys are probably going to be pissed about this, but Colby is still living with my wife and son, I tried to take him with me but this only lead to more friction and infuriating jabs from my wife ("why so you can sodomize him again and blame it on your son you sick fuck" etc etc).

 

This whole thing has just become a complete nightmare. I have tried to confront my son about denying what he did to his mom and he won't even talk to me and has just started taking the stance that I'm crazy. I guess he thought he saw a way out of all of this and decided to just throw his dad under the bus. That is probably the most hurtful part of this entire ordeal, to be honest. I'm used to having my wife be a complete bitch to me at this point but the betrayal by my son who I was only trying to help is like a knife in my heart.

 

That being said, I have to remind myself he is just a kid in an awkward situation, and try not to hold it against him. After all if my wife and I wind up with a divorce down the road he is going to be the only thing I love, so I am trying not to do irreparable damage to our relationship. I feel like I've done enough damage to this family. And all of this over a goddamn Labrador.

 

I wish I could say my priority at this time was still on Colby's safety, but I would be lying. My relationship with my family is in tatters and I don't know what to do to fix it. Obviously I would still like to see Colby rehomed as well, but I feel like I need to focus on fixing my relationship with my wife and son so my life can go back to normal.

 

So Reddit, I know this is kind of a unique situation but I'm sure theres got to be some of you out there who have had something similar happen to you. Any advice for a dad who is losing control?

 

TL;DR - My wife has decided to separate from me, and she took the dog and my son. Feel like I'm losing control of my life and it's all because I tried to help my son after he sexually abused our dog.

 

 

 

Poor guy :(

 

Some fucking people :nutso:

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Repulsive behaviour.

 

A good pal of mine specialises in divorce law and he told me a few years ago about a woman who came into the offices unannounced and on the verge of tears, saying that she wanted a divorce from her husband. When he invited her back for a consultation she explained that she had recently become aware that her husband (who was a teacher) liked to have sex with the dog. She had discovered them in the garden at night and after a lengthy conversation he had promised her that it was a one off and that it wouldn't happen again. A few weeks later she was going out somewhere, but forgot something and headed back to the house. She called out to him but he didn't respond so she became suspicious and went upstairs to find him with an erection in the bath with the dog. That was it, marriage over. He had a thing about sheep dogs only apparently.

 

This couple were from Fife - but even by there standards it's fucking sick.

 

Nutso.gif

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As for my son, I have seen no sign of him since he made his hotpocket, however for about 40 minutes now I've been hearing what I am guessing is 'dubstep' coming from his room.

 

There's your answer right there. LISTENING TO DUBSTEP LEADS TO SEXUAL DEVIANCY :nono::dc:

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One of the replies from that thread!

 

Seriously, what the fuck

 

Okay. After much deliberation and drinking I've decided to post on here. I don't know if this will be relevant, useful, or even worth reading. Also, I'm far too intoxicated to read all the 1904813984 comments associated with this. With that caveat in mind, I am a 24 year old who has been interested in zoophilia since I was 12ish. The one piece of advice I can give is that getting rid of the dog will NOT stop your son's fantasies. It can in fact make them more detrimental, in that he will seek out animal "companionship" from other sources. (iPlease keep in mind that this is something that is incredibly private for me and I wouldn't know for SHIT if this is true or not, but based on the psych books/articles and studies I have read I'm thinking it's relatively accurate.) I know that with philias or fetishes, it's not something that is "cured". It's like AIDS, in that it is only moderated and treated, but never goes away. When I was a teenager I experimented with dogs in my neighborhood, as well as at a camp I went to. I also frequented zoophilia sites, normally at the local library because I was smart enough to realize that shit gets seen at home, no matter how hard I try for it not to. I did get found out once or twice in my life, by my parents, who acted like it wasn't a big deal, just something that was off (to their credit, they never judged me). That being said, I shrugged it off as boredom or curiosity, and never admitted to the urges I had, being that it was/is incredibly embarassing and shameful.

 

For what it's worth, I never sodomized an animal. Won't lie, it crossed my mind, but to be truthful I found the physical concept gross, so I never crossed that line. I did jack off a few dogs and masturbated at the same time. Ironically, at least to me, I'm not gay in the least. Human penises do nothing for me sexually, but dog's do. In my mind, sarcasm and satire intended, all I ever did was show a dog a good time. However, I do realize that this is flawed thinking and obviously there is some issue at the root of all this. To the psych guy who said it had something to do with previous sexual abuse, I was never abused. To be honest, my (relatively) objective opinion is that I found porn at a very young age, and grew "bored" with the standard sex acts available for viewing, and needed to broaden my horizons. I was attracted to the "taboo" of it, and got off on it's being forbidden.

 

Ultimately, after living with this for 10 some years, I have come to the conclusion that it is not something I can ever or will ever "overcome". It is something I have to live with and accept, and progress through. I haven't touched an animal in that way in years, although I do still look at the porn when the mood strikes me mid-fap. I have enormous self esteem issues, and I think many of them stem from this fetish. It is dehumanizing. If gays think that they are shunned and discriminated against, just imagine. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but BELIEVE ME, it's not something that I can help. The only thing I can change is how I act on it, and I have decided not to. I don't own a dog (I hate saying own, the irony is I fucking love dogs (not sexually only), and wish I could have one), and for this reason I don't think I ever will. If I do it will be a female, because I've never gone down that road with a female.

 

I see on websites and forums people talking about this fetish they have, and how they think it's not horrible etc. I disagree, I hate that I think of animals that way. I still can't see a male dog and not wonder how big his red rocket is. But I can recognize that it is NOT normal, not acceptable, and above all not fair to the dog, who is incapable of having any say in it, however much he may enjoy it. A dog wants to be your friend, not your living fleshlight.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, as a zoophiliac and psuedo-psychologist hobby type person, and someone with a slew of issues outside of this one, I would, if possible, go the route of understanding. If it were my son, I would try, (as much as you can), to understand that he has urges that are not by choice. Those urges are, and believe me when I say this, uncontrollable. The only control he has is how he acts. It is always a personal choice to jerk off a dog, do a line of coke, or fuck a child, no matter what your issues are. People, imn my opinion, love to "blame their urges", or "succumb to uncontrollable forces". I am not a believer. You ALWAYS have the power to be the change you want to see. If you want to fuck a dog, but don't want to because of morality or whatever, then don't put yourself in positions where you will be tempted. Don't watch your neighbor's dog. Don't go buy a dog. Look at weird porn and fap to your heart's content, but make sure you are aware of your inklings and keep it moderated.

 

To the OP; I'm not saying buy your son a subscription to bestiality.com. I'm simply saying that as someone who's been here, truthfully, most things that come to mind as ideas won't help. The best thing you can do is instill morals and values irrelevant to bestiality, and trust that your son is, despite his indiscretions, is an inherently good person and just wants to be normal. He never will be. Ever. He's crossed that line, and no matter how much you, or your wife, or he wants to believe, he won't be "normal". But the reality is the world needn't know that. I guarantee you that he is feeling cast out and inhuman. He will (probably) withdraw and become relatively inaccessible. Also, I highly recommend finding a male therapist. Just my opinion. I know all the psych handbooks and guides tell you that ignoring problems just allows them to fester, and while I agree in most cases, I think a talking to and a discussion on values, the differences between us all, and the reality of this and then dropping the subject completely, is the best recourse. I suggest re-homeing (IMO, fancy word for "getting rid of") your pup, just because no matter how much you love your dog, I know your son means more to you. Honestly, I don't know what kind of credibility or concern you have for me, but if you want to PM me I would be glad to talk to you or your son even. I promise you that there is no greater therapy than true understanding, and the biggest problem I've always had with discussing my problem is that no one can TRULY understand the urges I feel, and the ones that can (on the internet anyway, it's not like I go up to people and ask if they love dog dong), just think it's "okay".

 

He is not "broken", he is not "ruined", he is just a boy with some abnormal urges/issues. He still has full potential to be a fully functioning member of society, assuming he learns to control his urges. I'm sure that I could get to the point where I didn't even look at the porn, but truth be told, I get by without breaking any moral boundaries I have as is, so why push it? Porn is there whether I look at it or not, and rationalizing as that may seem it's true. I'm sure most zoophiliacs are not quite so enlightened as I feel I am, or maybe they are and just don't care, but I think that someone who is educated, intelligent, objective and still has this issue is rare. Above all else, make it EXTREMELY CLEAR to your son that you love him, no matter what.

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