Most Shocking Day After The Night Before...

[dervish]

Most shocking day after the night before what is the worst wake up call you've had?

 

For me some serious hounds. One declined the offer of water in the morning and drank a warm tin of Tennents from the night before. Another was by miles far more of a minker than exhibit A) I disgusted myself even when pissed tried to get rid of her before the dirty deed. The type even when you blame it on the booze people are disgusted.

 

Another time I woke on the day I was meant to be in work getting an award at 10am in a hotel room, not even in my home town, after accidently riding a 40-50 year old married woman (not my fault she told me after, not my bag that... pardon the pun), worse was was a work piss up night before so they all knew... apparently my boss went down thinking I'd be there to get this award. Was a bit of a shock to be told they reckoned I was tied to some old minks bed. Called in saying I "missed the bus".

 

Oh aye, this is the winner, another time was stuck in town 20 miles from here so ended up riding a whale (only time actually) for a bed. Woke to find out it wasn't her house (and in another completely random village, had no idea where) but the house of the boy riding her mate... or more specifically his mums. I woke in her living room, her scowling on with only the whale on top of me to protect my modesty (also still don't know, or care about, where the used jonnie went). She fucking never left for me to get dressed. No offer of breakfast either. Some people no manners.

[Ke1t]

Most shocking day after the night before what is the worst wake up call you've had?

 

For me some serious hounds. One declined the offer of water in the morning and drank a warm tin of Tennents from the night before. Another was by miles far more of a minker than exhibit A) I disgusted myself even when pissed tried to get rid of her before the dirty deed. The type even when you blame it on the booze people are disgusted.

 

Another time I woke on the day I was meant to be in work getting an award at 10am in a hotel room, not even in my home town, after accidently riding a 40-50 year old married woman (not my fault she told me after, not my bag that... pardon the pun), worse was was a work piss up night before so they all knew... apparently my boss went down thinking I'd be there to get this award. Was a bit of a shock to be told they reckoned I was tied to some old minks bed. Called in saying I "missed the bus".

 

Oh aye, this is the winner, another time was stuck in town 20 miles from here so ended up riding a whale (only time actually) for a bed. Woke to find out it wasn't her house (and in another completely random village, had no idea where) but the house of the boy riding her mate... or more specifically his mums. I woke in her living room, her scowling on with only the whale on top of me to protect my modesty (also still don't know, or care about, where the used jonnie went). She fucking never left for me to get dressed. No offer of breakfast either. Some people no manners.

 

Try waking up with one of your old dear's mates at the hotel after a wedding.

[Jigot]

I woke up with nothing on bar my fitba scarf next to a chubster,I asked her to tape a couple of bars of soap to her oaxters as the were fuckin guffin.Nae Stubbin' the mornin' glory oot wi thon heffer.Boot.

[Jigot]

Speaking of evil smelling wimmen, what's your experience of rancid pussies?

 

My grotesquely insatiable appetite as a male slut once upon a time provides a voluminous case history to draw upon.

 

Some are more delightful than others, naturally, but it was quite infrequent to get a really howking one.

 

Probably only two that I remember vividly that are still capable of making me shudder thirty odd years later.

The one that sticks in mind was the 17st Mohican,she smelled like the Giraffe hoose at the zoo.I had to wrap the duvet tight roond my neck tae keep the reek in, as it was putting me off my stroke.

[muttonhumper]

Beasts are nae good, but Jile is probably worse.

 

Or the realisation that you've fucked up badly in some shape or form from the previous night of manglement.

ie...done something really bad to your bird that may result in termination of a relationship you are quite fond of...or fucked off a good mate really badly in a pished argument of some sort.

[dervish]

The one that sticks in mind was the 17st Mohican,she smelled like the Giraffe hoose at the zoo.I had to wrap the duvet tight roond my neck tae keep the reek in, as it was putting me off my stroke.

 

Gads, love that line.

 

So Kelt was she one of those MILFs you always had your eye on as a young'un?

[muttonhumper]

The one that sticks in mind was the 17st Mohican,she smelled like the Giraffe hoose at the zoo.I had to wrap the duvet tight roond my neck tae keep the reek in, as it was putting me off my stroke.

Ha ha.

 

Yas.

Did she go to the Venue? Might ken her...

[Ke1t]

Gads, love that line.

 

So Kelt was she one of those MILFs you always had your eye on as a young'un?

 

She was one of my old dear's best mates, and her daughter was my sister's best mate.

 

...and I shagged her

 

I would have been about 17, she'd have been about 40. I can assure you it wasnae my idea.

[dervish]

You get a net high five from me. On this auspicious occasion I'm sure there re many people you'd like to thank. Perhaps your maw for introducing you to the best ride of your teen life?

[ollie1903]

She was one of my old dear's best mates, and her daughter was my sister's best mate.

 

...and I shagged her

 

I would have been about 17, she'd have been about 40. I can assure you it wasnae my idea.

Fuckin' slag.

 

Your ma's pal sounds like a good sort though.

[Robbie Winters]

Probably some of you have had the same but woke up next to lady of zero virtue cos her manky dog was licking my feet. Then a toddler proceeded to enter the room and climb in beside his ma, then a young lass of about 15 in a school uniform came into the room chewing on some toast and never even batted an eyelid. Must have been a common scenario for her. I suppose it was always on the cards as I think I pulled said munter in The Metro

[The Boofon]

Probably some of you have had the same but woke up next to lady of zero virtue cos her manky dog was licking my feet. Then a toddler proceeded to enter the room and climb in beside his ma, then a young lass of about 15 in a school uniform came into the room chewing on some toast and never even batted an eyelid. Must have been a common scenario for her. I suppose it was always on the cards as I think I pulled said munter in The Metro

 

So could have been 16?

 

I'd have offered a space in the bed. After getting rid of the toddler obviously.

[Robbie Winters]

So could have been 16?

 

I'd have offered a space in the bed. After getting rid of the toddler obviously.

True but the slice of toast with Nutella clarted on it was just adding to her already 12st of puppy fat !

[Jocky Balboa]

*shudder*

 

Some familiar stories. LOL. :D

 

I won't go dredging up the past, though. Some things are best left forgotten and besides, I'm happily engaged to a lovely lady, so thankfully my days of such mis-steps are consigned to the dustbin of history.