Things Every Man Should Know How To Do

[looksgoodinred]

.. and probably women should know most of them too.

 

Build a fire

Chop down a tree

Jumpstart a car

Parallel park

Change oil

Escape a sinking car

Read an electric meter Kiss a woman so her clothes just fall off

Break up a fight

Fight

CPR

Remove blood from fabric

Heimlich manouvre

Tie a tie

Change a flat

Point north

Sew a button

Recite the military alphabet

Fix a toilet

Choose the right urinal/know to sit down to pee after choking the chicken

Talk their way out of a traffic ticket

Look good in pictures Explain the offside rule

Dance

Spot a liar

Speedread

Pretend you know what you're doing

 

I was not aware there was a correct urinal to choose.. never having had need to use one.

 

When it comes to bathroom usage, certain things go without saying. No peeking, keep talking to a minimum and most importantly, choose the correct urinal. The first one in should never choose the middle, in fact, the one farthest from the door is the only choice. After that, however, it’s like riding the London Underground. Try to leave as many spots open between you and the next person as possible.

 

i'm pretty certain i can do 14 of the list.

 

http://list25.com/25-things-every-man-should-know-how-to-do/5/

[Ke1t]

interesting that nobbing, shooting, and holding your booze aren't on the list... or hunting and prepping an animal, or building a compound.

[tightbreeks]

skills

 

if thon freaky eyed 50's cult boy romney got the job then some of these might've come in handy.

[looksgoodinred]

interesting that nobbing, shooting, and holding your booze aren't on the list... or hunting and prepping an animal, or building a compound.

 

i noticed the absence of some of those myself. wouldn't say it's particularly necessary for a man to know how to shoot, or prep an animal though. holding your booze would be a good addition though.. for men and women.

 

i expect you have all of these suggested additions of yours under your belt, Kelt?

[muttondressedaslamb]

Explain the offside rule is also missing.

[looksgoodinred]

Explain the offside rule is also missing.

 

i would replace "looking good in pictures" with that!

[looksgoodinred]

i would also add kiss properly.

i'd happily replace "reading an electric meter" with THAT

[Ke1t]

i noticed the absence of some of those myself. wouldn't say it's particularly necessary for a man to know how to shoot, or prep an animal though. holding your booze would be a good addition though.. for men and women.

 

i expect you have all of these suggested additions of yours under your belt, Kelt?

 

I operate on the principle that there's nothing I can't do.

 

There's nothing to fear but fear itself, as they say, ... and drowning in a sinking car, if your original list is accurate.

 

But, in effect, I'll turn my hand to pretty much anything.

[Notorious Chee]

My addition would be knowing that after choking the chicken a sit down piss is your best option unless you want one stream going on the floor and the other in the pot

[looksgoodinred]

I operate on the principle that there's nothing I can't do.

 

There's nothing to fear but fear itself, as they say, ... and drowning in a sinking car, if your original list is accurate.

 

But, in effect, I'll turn my hand to pretty much anything.

 

so, spill the beans! of the newly revised list of 25 (MDAL's and Notorious' suggestions included), how many can you do?

[Ke1t]

so, spill the beans! of the newly revised list of 25 (MDAL's and Notorious' suggestions included), how many can you do?

 

Let's see...

 

Build a fire - Using what sort of tools? I've started a fire using a magnesium stick. I haven't "In Search of Fire" started a fire, but how hard can it be?

Chop down a tree - Done that. Also demolished a brick building with a sledgehammer at the same time.

Jumpstart a car - More times than I can remember

Parallel park - Piece of piss

Change oil - Ex's old man was an engine-monkey... done numerous oil changes

Escape a sinking car - Never done that... because I can fucking drive.

Read an electric meter - Kiss a woman so her clothes just fall off. - Can't I just pay her?

Break up a fight - Not a man alive who hasn't had to stop two mates booting the piss out of each other.

Fight - I was a Goth. Fighting was a bad thing. I've had a fair number of fights, and only been responsible for starting two.

CPR - In theory.

Remove blood from fabric - Blood and spunk. Blood is removed with room temperature water. Spunk is removed with room temperature water and salt. True story.. next time you need to remove spunk you'll thank me.

Heimlich manouvre - Removed a nickel from my loon's throat using a brutal thump to the back. Close to the Heimlich.

Tie a tie - Regular tie, yes. Bow tie.. no. I have a clip on bow tie somewhere.

Change a flat - In the dark and pissing rain of a Scottish Mountain without the right tools.

Point north - Right now, easily.

Sew a button - deary me. Yes.

Recite the military alphabet - Never been in the military, but if that's Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta... not really.

Fix a toilet - Have replaced an entire bathroom. And an entire kitchen (twice) from four bare walls.

Choose the right urinal/know to sit down to pee after choking the chicken - Every male knows urinal etiquette as a matter of instinct. And you always take a whizz BEFORE punching the clown. That's only common sense

Talk their way out of a traffic ticket - Done that. To be fair it was pretty simple.

Look good in pictures Explain the offside rule - To a man, yes. To a chick or an America, no.

Dance - Only when hammered/up to the age of 25

Spot a liar - Ask me about Muran.

Speedread - No. That's something I can't do if I want to take in any information. Woody Allen once said "I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." That's me if I speed Read.

Pretend you know what you're doing - That's about 90% of my job. "Did you try restarting you computer/printer/router/switch/modem...."

[looksgoodinred]

Real men know how to make every woman orgasm, whatever their mindset and body shape.

 

Real men can see trouble coming before it arrives and calculate when to hit first.

 

Real men look after their families and have two or more kids.

 

Real men were good at fitba and ken the game.

 

That is all there is to it.

 

perhaps a woman that cares for you just lets you believe she did? but that would be another thread.

 

i'd +1 your list in general (although i'm not certain why multiple progeny is necessary?).

[looksgoodinred]

Let's see...

 

Build a fire - Using what sort of tools? I've started a fire using a magnesium stick. I haven't "In Search of Fire" started a fire, but how hard can it be?

Chop down a tree - Done that. Also demolished a brick building with a sledgehammer at the same time.

Jumpstart a car - More times than I can remember

Parallel park - Piece of piss

Change oil - Ex's old man was an engine-monkey... done numerous oil changes

Escape a sinking car - Never done that... because I can fucking drive.

Read an electric meter - Kiss a woman so her clothes just fall off. - Can't I just pay her? NO.

Break up a fight - Not a man alive who hasn't had to stop two mates booting the piss out of each other.

Fight - I was a Goth. Fighting was a bad thing. I've had a fair number of fights, and only been responsible for starting two.

CPR - In theory.

Remove blood from fabric - Blood and spunk. Blood is removed with room temperature water. Spunk is removed with room temperature water and salt. True story.. next time you need to remove spunk you'll thank me. i've not ever had to remove spunk from clothing, but i'll keep it in mind

Heimlich manouvre - Removed a nickel from my loon's throat using a brutal thump to the back. Close to the Heimlich.

Tie a tie - Regular tie, yes. Bow tie.. no. I have a clip on bow tie somewhere.

Change a flat - In the dark and pissing rain of a Scottish Mountain without the right tools.

Point north - Right now, easily.

Sew a button - deary me. Yes.

Recite the military alphabet - Never been in the military, but if that's Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta... not really.

Fix a toilet - Have replaced an entire bathroom. And an entire kitchen (twice) from four bare walls.

Choose the right urinal/know to sit down to pee after choking the chicken - Every male knows urinal etiquette as a matter of instinct. And you always take a whizz BEFORE punching the clown. That's only common sense

Talk their way out of a traffic ticket - Done that. To be fair it was pretty simple.

Look good in pictures Explain the offside rule - To a man, yes. To a chick or an America, no.

Dance - Only when hammered/up to the age of 25

Spot a liar - Ask me about Muran.

Speedread - No. That's something I can't do if I want to take in any information. Woody Allen once said "I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." That's me if I speed Read.

Pretend you know what you're doing - That's about 90% of my job. "Did you try restarting you computer/printer/router/switch/modem...."

 

i'd say you didn't come out too badly then Kelt! and you can hunt down and remove squirrels

[Ke1t]

i'd say you didn't come out too badly then Kelt! and you can hunt down and remove squirrels

 

 

I like to do stuff. Nothing worse than looking at something, shrugging, and saying you can't do it.

 

There's only one way to find out if you can or can't do it, and that's to jump heid-first into a project as though you can.

 

That can have its drawbacks, obviously, because if we're ever out in the wilderness and.. for whatever reason, say you have an allergic reaction to a rattlesnake bite or something... then I WILL perform an emergency tracheostomy on you. I've seen pictures of it, so I reckon with 99% assuredness that I can stab you in the neck, jam a biro in there, and keep you alive until EMS gets there. 98% sure at the worst... and those are pretty damn good odds, I trust you'll agree.

 

Does not look tricky at all.

 

 

When we needed a new brick patio a year or so ago, I was out there sizing it up for a bit of a weekend project. The wife knocked that idea on the heid and called in some professional brick-rats. I could have done it nae bother... I told her, but she was having none of it.

[Henry]

Let's see...

 

Look good in pictures Explain the offside rule - To a man, yes. To a chick or an America, no.

 

 

Explaining the offside rule to an entire country would be difficult indeed.

[looksgoodinred]

I like to do stuff. Nothing worse than looking at something, shrugging, and saying you can't do it.

 

There's only one way to find out if you can or can't do it, and that's to jump heid-first into a project as though you can.

 

That can have its drawbacks, obviously, because if we're ever out in the wilderness and.. for whatever reason, say you have an allergic reaction to a rattlesnake bite or something... then I WILL perform an emergency tracheostomy on you. I've seen pictures of it, so I reckon with 99% assuredness that I can stab you in the neck, jam a biro in there, and keep you alive until EMS gets there. 98% sure at the worst... and those are pretty damn good odds, I trust you'll agree.

 

Does not look tricky at all.

 

i do agree! great odds. so feel free to have at me should the need arise.

[daytripping]

I can't tie a tie, luckily I know a couple of women who can.

[BrianFaePerth]

The Clear History option in yer chosen web browser.

 

 

 

Such an amateur mistake needlessly made by so many

[looksgoodinred]

.. and probably women should know most of them too.

 

Build a fire

Chop down a tree

Jumpstart a car

Parallel park

Change oil

Escape a sinking car

Read an electric meter Kiss a woman so her clothes just fall off

Break up a fight

Fight

CPR

Remove blood from fabric

Heimlich manouvre

Tie a tie

Change a flat

Point north

Sew a button

Recite the military alphabet

Fix a toilet

Choose the right urinal/know to sit down to pee after choking the chicken

Talk their way out of a traffic ticket

Look good in pictures Explain the offside rule

Dance

Spot a liar

Speedread

Pretend you know what you're doing

Clear your browser history regularly

Hold your liquor

 

 

I was not aware there was a correct urinal to choose.. never having had need to use one.

 

When it comes to bathroom usage, certain things go without saying. No peeking, keep talking to a minimum and most importantly, choose the correct urinal. The first one in should never choose the middle, in fact, the one farthest from the door is the only choice. After that, however, it

[Henry]

The Clear History option in yer chosen web browser.

 

 

 

Such an amateur mistake needlessly made by so many

 

Google Chrome, and incognito window.

[looksgoodinred]

Google Chrome, and incognito window.

 

i was going to suggest that, but far be it from me to offer up ways for Byen to more safely surf porn sites.

[daytripping]

Why would you need to know how to remove blood from fabric?

 

i'd just bung it in the washing machine, if it was till stained then buy another one.

[BrianFaePerth]

Why would you need to know how to remove blood from fabric?

 

i'd just bung it in the washing machine, if it was till stained then buy another one.

 

 

Quite right, that's women's work.

[looksgoodinred]

Quite right, that's women's work.

 

are you implying Dayts has a strong feminine side?

[Ke1t]

i do agree! great odds. so feel free to have at me should the need arise.

 

You don't have to worry about that, m'dear. I would definitely stab you in the neck should the need arise.

 

I'd also like to try my hand at setting broken bones, though I've pretty much zero knowledge of how that's done.

 

Trial and error would be my methodology there.

[robbojunior]

Escaping a sinking car is easy. Just roll doon the window a crack before it goes under water and you will be able to break it and swim oot. If you dinna, you will never get the door open or break the window due to the pressure of the water.

 

If you're unconscious when the car goes in, then yer fucked.

[looksgoodinred]

You don't have to worry about that, m'dear. I would definitely stab you in the neck should the need arise.

 

I'd also like to try my hand at setting broken bones, though I've pretty much zero knowledge of how that's done.

 

Trial and error would be my methodology there.

 

you seem awfully eager to stab me in the neck, rather than other places. i must be getting old

 

for the record, should i break a bone (which isn't likely), feel free to leave it unset til i find a hospital. trial and error with bones sounds painful.

[dervish]

I note not cry, ever. Isn't on the list?

 

These days the whole "man enough to cry" is in fashion, but for me it's a clear requirement of having testicles that you never cry not matter what.

[looksgoodinred]

I note not cry, ever. Isn't on the list?

 

These days the whole "man enough to cry" is in fashion, but for me it's a clear requirement of having testicles that you never cry not matter what.

 

mmmm.. maybe cry in private? i'm not a big believer in women crying in public either.

although in either instance, there might be extraordinary reasons. i'd find it strange, for instance, that a man not cry even in private if his best mate or a parent or his spouse died? wouldn't you?

[Notorious Chee]

mmmm.. maybe cry in private? i'm not a big believer in women crying in public either.

although in either instance, there might be extraordinary reasons. i'd find it strange, for instance, that a man not cry even in private if his best mate or a parent or his spouse died? wouldn't you?

 

Hard to say, I do believe that as a male you would be looked upon to stay strong for your remaining family, your often seen as the foundation of a relationship